How smart is it to try to write FDK on this in the morning when I have almost no time for it? Not very - but when do I have time these days, eh?
I love how Lois ripped out parts of her journal to "undo" the past, as it were, and to give Clark another chance to put things right. Just don't blow it now, Clark! (But you might consider blowing something else instead - ah, sorry, this isn't in the nfic folder, which is a pity, really!)
What did she want him to do?
What did he want to do?
Duh, Clark. Haven't you been listening to Lois at all? Don't you know what she wants you to do? As for what you want... well, we can only hope you want what is good for you.
After a few seconds, Lois opened the door. She smiled a sweet, shy smile at him. “Is it true?”
How sweet! Trusting Lois!
“Did you really propose to me?” she continued.
Oh – that was easy enough to answer, wasn’t it? He nodded his head at her, not really trusting his voice just yet.
“Then why don’t I have an engagement ring on?” She flashed him her unadorned left hand.
Good question, Lois. And Clark is going to play his usual game of avoiding the question in such a way that he isn't lying outright, but he isn't telling her the truth.
To be truthful, she was a little taken aback that she had agreed to meet Scardino at her apartment to discuss the story with him. What had she been thinking? That had to have upset Clark. At least she assumed Clark hadn’t been there, that’s what her journal seemed to allude to.
How sweet. She has a bad conscience about meeting Scardino. But of course, she doesn't remember Clark breaking up with her.
Lois could feel the faint stirrings of unresolved feelings, buried deep down inside her. She couldn’t tell what the feelings were, just that they felt out of place. They didn’t belong with anything that she had read or that Clark had told her... so far, anyway.
At least she isn't completely fooled by him.
“Okay,” she told him. “I can live with that – for now. So, what did you come by for this morning?” She smiled lopsidedly at him. “You weren’t hoping to take advantage of me while my memory’s off, were you?”
How sweet! And how painful to think that there is no chance of that happening right now, Lois, not with that lunkhead of an ex-boyfriend.
“Oh, you caught me,” he admitted, flashing her a small grin in return. It felt good to smile like this with Lois again. “I was going to tell you that you had agreed to go away with me to a private island and...”
I wish! And I hate his lies. The coward!
“So where’s the ring?” she asked, wondering if he kept it on him, if he kept it at work – locked up in his desk, or if maybe he just kept it at home.
Yes! Perfect question, Lois!
“The ring?” He cleared his throat nervously. “It’s at home.”
“Can I see it?” Where did he keep it at home? Just put away in an old dresser drawer? Or was it sitting out somewhere – someplace where he looked it at every day? The thought made her feel a little giddy.
“Now?” Clark put one hand against the doorframe to steady himself. “You want to see it now?”
Yes, Clark. She wants to see it now.
What did he do now? What had she expected him to do? What did he want to do?
What?
He glanced back towards her bedroom and then, before he could change his mind, he spun into his suit, opened her window, and made a quick trip back to his apartment to grab the ring box.
Okay. Good, Clark.
Was he really going to show it to her?
Yes, Clark! Don't you dare back down now!
She was giving him a second chance. That’s really all he needed to know. A second chance wasn’t about knowing what she remembered from the past but, instead, about making a fresh start – about making new memories.
This is beautifully put. I love it.
Oh there had been that one time when he had come to her before she had accepted Luthor’s proposal, and she had looked lovely...
But not as lovely as *that* night. Clark closed his eyes remembering the way her hair had fluttered as the breeze from the window caught it. Her cream-colored silk nightie had plunged dramatically at the neckline, drawing Clark’s eyes down her body. He had realized that the night air was a little chilly and he had wrapped his arms around her to warm her. They had held each other closely, their bodies swaying softly against one another. Her skin had felt more like silk than what she was wearing.
How beautiful.
If she knew the truth, she wouldn’t be doing this – acting this way. He needed to slow things down.
She needs you to change things, not go down the same route as before, only more slowly this time! Lunkhead!
She had almost been ready to accept his proposal that night... almost, but not quite. She had still been scared, and she was still scared now but not like before. Something inside her had changed. She didn’t know how to explain it - she could just feel it.
Beautiful...
Clark was the one man she wanted to spend her life with. The realization of that resonated down deep inside of her, culminating in a pool of liquid heat.
...and sensual...
“That’s what I dreamt about just before I woke up this morning.” She kissed his neck again, moving her lips up and then along his jaw before finally reaching his lips. She sucked softly on his upper lip, savoring the soft, smooth feel of his skin with her tongue.
...so she is acting on that sensuality.
“Clark,” she whispered his name breathlessly between kisses as she reached between them to pull the sides of his coat back and down his shoulders. “Oh... I want...”
You want this to move into the nfic folder, don't you? So do we.
“Oh... I mean, I don’t... think I need any... more... time.”
He had to make sure she knew why he was proposing to her – that he realized he couldn’t let her go. He needed her – not just as a partner or a friend but as his wife, his lover, his equal. Clark reached down and cupped her face as he leaned in to kiss her lips. He took a long, slow taste of her before he pulled away. “I told you I would give you all the time you need and I will. I can wait.”
Didn't you listen at all, Clark? She wasn't asking you to wait.
It would be so easy. He had the ring – he could just pull it out and ask her and she would say yes.
Okay, Clark, maybe you need to confess things to her first.
He needed to make things right between them
Yes....
and that meant not rushing things.
I don't know.
She had to know what had happened and that he was sorry for what he had done. He needed to tell her that she had been right – together they could overcome anything.
All right. Yes.
Her frown deepened - at least not that she could remember. Superman was invulnerable, but Clark wasn’t. Clark could be killed.
All right - Clark as a persona can be killed.
She could only imagine how awful it would have been to have lost Clark – and yet she would still have had him as Superman. It wouldn’t have been the same but she still would have had him.
If she died, there was no coming back - Clark would have nothing. He stood to lose a lot more.
She wasn’t sure why but that revelation seemed really important to her. Like it meant more than what she realized. The next time she made notes in her journal she needed to write that down.
I love how she understands his fears.
And it's too much to quote, but I loved the whole scene where Lois found the engagement ring. When she tried it on, I almost got a lump in my throat. How beautiful. How sad. How poignant.
I get another feeling at the end of this chapter, too - a feeling of foreboding, a sense of looming danger. clark has left Lois alone. She had a fainting spell the last time she had seen her doctor. And Clark thinks she is going to be in danger because they are together - well, now they are not together, and he has left her alone, and now someone might try to kill her.
Gaaah. I'm not looking forward to the horrible A-plot, DJ. But this chaper was beautiful.
Ann
