Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related 2018 Kerth Ceremony Transcript

Jimmy: Uh, thank you. Thank you very much. (clears throat as he adjusts his Elvis costume) Rock...rock...around the clock. (rocks his hips in his costume) Man, the Chief isn’t going to know what hit him.
Nostalgiakick Jimmy?!
Jimmy:Shhh…
Nostalgiakick What ARE you doing?!
Perry: (storms on stage) I think there must be some mistake. How did I get stuck presenting Best Comedy?
Jimmy: Chie---Perry, I’m sure they had their, uh, reasons.
Perry: (looks Elvis costume up and down) Jimmy, get out of that costume. You look ridiculous.
Jimmy: How did you know it was me?
Perry: I can smell the Amidol on you. Besides (snort) I can spot an Elvis Impersonator a mile away.
Jimmy: Oh, come on, Chief, I was just trying to have a little fun.
Perry: Jimmy, don’t disrespect the king like that. Now, about these nominees.
Nostalgiakick Yes, (eyes widen as Jimmy changes into a costume with yellow spandex and a red cape) What are you doing NOW?!
Jimmy: No need to fear. Comedy Man is here.
Perry: Oh brother.
Nostalgiakick No.
Jimmy:What?
Nostalgiakick Absolutely not. This was not in the agreement. Just go. I’ll present it myself
Jimmy: But…
Nostalgiakick (takes envelope) Sorry about that folks.(reads envelope and laughs) Of course I would end up with a speech written by Darth Michael.
**Darth Michael mask appears**

Hey! Cool! /looks oddly at red nose on face and squeezes it , turns around, and plucks red nose off face/ Hi everyone! It’s me, not Superman, just in case the clown nose fooled you.

What? No, I’m quite aware this is the Best Comedy section, not the one with all the revelations. Hence the clown nose instead of a pair of glasses.

Anyhow, as I was saying, we’re now at the point where we will be handing out a special award to the FoLC who gave us the best laugh during the last year. And there’s a lot of ways to make other FoLCs laugh. I mean, you could kidnap Lois and have her vacuum your house, naked. Or what about exposing Clark to Kryptonite?
/picks up ringing phone/

Hmm… I’ve got to take this. Yes? What? No, Mr. Doe, I do not believe Lois would think that one would be funny.

/puts phone away again/

Sorry for that. But you know how it is, you always have to pick up the phone when the President calls. And he’s such a darn nice guy, too! Suggesting that Lois might find it funny if she were not only blind, but deaf, too. So helpful of him.

Where was I?
/checks notes/

Ah yes, we were talking about how the only thing funnier than Lois stumbling onto a naked Clark is Clark stumbling onto a naked Lois. And no, that’s not a theme, that’s just some of the plot points in this year’s nominations. Hey, at least I didn’t compare it to the time Clark got flashed by an entire retirement home.

/turns around to MC/

Huh? Okay, fine…

/turns back/

Apparently, we have to keep this show PG rated, so I probably shouldn’t mention all the singing that was going on. Clark’s singing, that is. Not PG rated. Anywhere. He even scared the vermin out of his apartment that one time. And can you imagine if he ever chose to couple his singing voice with super ventriloquism? He could probably put all the exterminators in Metropolis out of business.
/checks watch/

My, have I been talking this long already? I guess so. Okay, now the part we’ve all been waiting for, this year’s nominees for the funniest muse in town are…
500 Miles by CarrieRene
A Plot Thwarted by Annie B
A Super Meeting by Deadly Chakram
Caught in the Act by CarrieRene
Dying to Fit In by Deadly Chakram
Heat Vision by Framework
It Can’t Be Unseen by Deadly Chakram
Rules of Engagement by Framework
Strange Visit by Queen of the Capes
The Least Useful Superpower by MrsMxyzptlk
The Very Bad No Good Day by Folc4evernaday
/pats pockets/

It was just here. Where is it? Hey, you didn’t see Ralph sneak up on me again, did you?

/pats some more/

Ah, there it is. No need to worry. I only have the one envelope. And never was given the second one. Like what happened last year at that movie awards show. That was so embarrassing, wasn’t it?

/slips open envelope/

And the winner is…
It Can’t Be Unseen by Deadly Chakram and Strange Visit by Queen of the Capes!


Congratulations!

/moves to the side to make room for a funny acceptance speech/

Deadly Chakram *steps to mic* Queenie, we'll get this to you safe and sound, I promise!
In the meantime… Thank you, everyone! I have to admit, it feels a bit strange to win for comedy. While I’m not exactly a stranger to the category, my muse tends to stray more toward drama. For a while, I was even afraid to venture in the general direction of comedy, until a few short years ago. In any case, I’m overjoyed that this weird little tale (with a hopefully unforeseen punchline) tickled your funny bones. Thank you so, so much! I hope I am inspired to keep you laughing in the future.
Nostalgiakick **Darth Michael mask disappears off Feli**
That was so weird! Congratulations to our winners. Please welcome our next presenter…
Deadly Chakram I don’t care how much money you give me I’m not going to rewrite the clone arc for you to get Lois.
Lex: Oh, come on! Please?
Deadly Chakram No!
Superman: Is there a problem here?
Deadly Chakram **Vicki walks up to mic and a blue and white flash fills the room. **
Vicki: Hey, what is going on?
Tempus: You’re welcome! /pats pocket where a silver device is in his left breast pocket/
Deadly Chakram Oh, I’ve got a bad feeling…(looks down at envelope and laughs) Michael again, huh?
**Darth Michael mask appears on Vicki**
Well that was fun but what happens when things don’t work out as planned? You know the feeling: you’re just driving down some country road with corn fields left and right and suddenly, you’re in the middle of a science experiment?
Or you get kidnapped by some vigilante and marooned on an island for the rest of time — well, at least until a ship tuckers past and notices your Gilliganesque lifestyle choice.
Then there is that awkward situation where you really need your parents, only they can’t come because, well, because a giant asteroid is soon going to clog up their closest – and only airport – like even an Airbus A-380 isn’t able to do.

And when was the last time you got so lost in a giant video game that you started to confuse your friends with one another?

Sure, those things *can* happen during regular airings of a television show, too. But let’s be honest, they’re certainly much less frequent. Or entertaining.

So let’s give it up for this year’s contenders for the best re-twisted twists of our favorite television show. And no, just in case you’re wondering, I’m not talking about Daenerys finally marrying Jorah.

A Plot Thwarted by Annie B
A Town Called Smallville by Dandello
Epiphany by Folc4evernaday
Guy Rule Number One by Folc4evernaday
Missing by NostalgiaKick
Remembering to Fly by Nostalgiakick
Sleeping With the Boss by Folc4evernaday
Virtually Revealed: Jimmy’s Story by Folc4evernaday
And the shiny new Kerth Award for the Best Episode Adaption goes to…
/pulls envelope from pocket and opens it/ Sleeping With The Boss by Folc4evernaday!
Congratulations!
**Vicki steps back and mask disappears**

Folc4evernaday
**chuckles to self** I guess after so many years it was bound to happen, right?
So this story actually came to me when Vicki, Feli, and I began talking about some of the major plot holes in Season Four and what we didn't like about how things were written that season
One of the main issues I had was how out of character Lois and Clark were. Thus Sleeping With the Boss was born. Written in 4 days.
Thanks to everyone for voting and reading! Thank you!