Interesting take on the story. As Terry said you decomposed the story arc nicely drawing it to its natural conclusion complete with the death and destruction and then fixed it. I would have liked to see it continue with how Lois and Clark turned the tables on Clemmons.
Like Terry I kept thinking how dense Clark is to even allow Lois to get to the death chamber and hooked up to the IVs. I guess that is why he always needed Lois, she would have come up with some less risky way to have gotten her out of this. It is probably because he relies so much on his powers. Many times Clark gets into bad situations just because he relies on the fact that he is Superman and he always tries to do the 'heroic' thing rather than taking the easier way out. In one fic I remember when Lois had UltraWoman's powers she would come to a scene, zoom down, take the guns away, tywrap the criminals up at super speed, and then show herself. Clark always would fly in, stop, and call out the criminals. Lois always figured that was exposing him(or her during this timeframe) and there was nothing gained by that. In that fic, even Clarked agreed that maybe she was on to something there.
Anyway, I was not sure I would like the story with the way it began but the story was totally compelling and believable the way you laid it out complete with the death and destruction. It probably would have worked well if you had ended it with Clark passing away in his sleep because you had already taken care of Clemmons but a middle of the night visit by Herb is always appreciated.
Any reason why you posted it in one thread instead of three parts? It would have worked well with the cliffhangers you so enjoy producing to have split the story into 3 chapters.
Great job!
Mike
Hi, Mike!
I'm surprised to see you here. I know you like the lighter stuff, as opposed to dark stories, like this one. But I'm glad you gave it a chance.
I never say never to a story idea. It's just a matter of if my muse takes the bait. (She's currently working on a couple of things.)
As I said to Terry, I can see Clark 1) working right up to the last minute to clear her name and 2) believing that the phone would ring and Lois would be granted a reprieve. I don't think he ever truly believed that Lois wouldn't be cleared and that she'd actually be killed.
Interesting idea that he would need Lois to devise a less risky plan. It rings true, doesn't it? Clark DOES tend to take more risks as Superman - probably in an attempt to be forthright with people (no sneak attacks on the criminals, giving them a chance to surrender). But I can see Lois deemed that an unnecessary risk.
I DID consider leaving the story with Clark's death, but it felt like it was lacking. I'm usually not a fan of "it was all just a dream" endings, but this one felt right - because it's more than a dream, it's the reality that WILL happen if Lois fails to prevent it.
As for your last question - I always envisioned this as a one-shot. I thought about posting it over three days, but I thought it worked better as one, cohesive piece posted all together.
Thanks for reading!
