Darth Michael: Hi, Michael. Are you sure your FDK isn't longer than this part? LOL. I don't mind.
/buckles in for wild ride/
Wild? Um... okay.
PAUL: So did I after I did the photographs. Boy, what a letdown that one was. I mean, sure, I didn’t expect a black track, but the *trainings hill*? Really?
LOIS: What is he whining about? He hit a homer with Linda.
LEX: Who put that vending machine into the break room?
MRS. COX: Don't worry, Lex. You own the soda company, the bottling company, and get 95% of the vendor's profits.
Oops?
CLARK: Umm…smart kid?
Sometimes it's the obvious that slip right past us. Plus, Clark was kind of distracted by the semi-naked photos of Lois.
CLARK: I was not!
LOIS: You weren't?
CLARK:
So, one could leave poison or explosive devices and some such and it would get delivered right to the newsroom to take out the intended party?
LOIS: No, usually someone of the *other* noisy staff will open it first, trying to steal a story and die from the process. Not that *I* have done something of that sort.
I’m sure, they’ve tightened up security recently.
Was that one of the corporate culture seminars LexCorp tried to introduce last week? It failed because the Editor in Chief vanished the therapist.
Only the CEO is allowed secrets.
Jack had been dropping hints that he knew Clark’s secret.
“We also don’t repeat them haphazardly,” Clark responded. “If we did, someone could get hurt.”
Ooooh! Threat!
JACK: I din’t see anythin’! I still need me private parts!
No, a warning to protect him from blabbing.
LEX: Same thing. What do you know, kid?
So, still with the lying?
What? He basically said ‘maybe.’ Jack’s chances are 50/50. Sometimes, that 50% loses.
LOIS: /And he wonders why I chose Lex/
CLARK: But death is so… deadly. People don’t come back from that.
LEX: He’s so cute. Just like a puppy that Lois CANNOT have.
He’s quite the happy schemer, isn’t he?
CLARK: /shrugs/ I learned from the best.
CLARK: I’ve watched many an Ivory Tower with Lois.
Oh boy.
CLARK: /hyper/ /drool/
Lunch? Robbery? Fire? Nope, Superman didn’t see or hear a thing.
Also, Gilmore Girls on Spring Break: /apparently, no real bananas on Spring Break/
So, Lois can’t act cute?
To give Clark something to look forward to and to distract him from finding the source of the photos.
CLARK: You mean, stop me from finding the remaining photos that I would so love to see?
BLACKMAILER: /uh/
BLACKMAILER: It’s strange, but ever since I sent those photos to Lois, Superman has stopped working. Interesting.
Maybe he doesn’t like her and prefers some sadistic pleasure?
MRS. COX: /has no idea who that could describe/
Perhaps.
So, grade-A job?
PAUL: I get paid by the press release. You’d be surprised how many press releases you can write about each individual foreclosure.
No, I’m sure he comes up with “contests” that ensure people deposit more of their money and have little return.
So, Kyle Griffin and Bill Church, Jr?
That’s actually a pretty narrow list.
Well…he now owes her and she always collects.
I didn’t know Lane was short for Lannister.
Couldn’t he use his heatvision to heat the city to the point where the negatives (and the remaining photos) melt and/or combust?
Actually, that amount of heat might damage other things as well.
JIMMY: My camera!
yeah, he’s useless without his coattails to hang on to.
So true.
CLARK: /that you’re a delicious as ever/
Pretty much.
Just Lex?
CLARK: Maybe I shouldn’t reference Lex in the future. Ever.
Sounds like a plan.
TEMPUS: And we all know how well heroes plan? Right, they don’t.
Yeah, but he’s not a conman. Just a liar.
LOIS: Potato, tomato.
What part about ‘that is only the start’ didn’t he get?
Perhaps he can’t believe modest Lois would bare it all for a man she didn’t sleep with.
CLARK: My mom would never sell those pictures of me playing with the garden hose while I was in kindergarten!
DIANA STRIDE: Get ‘em while their cheap.
LOIS: Phishaw. Those are of Clark.
Her lips pressed into a straight line. “No.” She swallowed another gulp of wine.
No? /help/
Because Lois NEVER lies.
Well…Oscar winners have shown more.
LOIS: Oscar winners are professionals. Yep, you heard me!
CLARK: /thinks that’s a great idea!/
MARTHA: Don’t be silly, dear! With those photos, you’d be an outcast in the entire church community!
CLARK: *Mom*!
MARTHA: Don’t you ‘Mom’ me and go help her!
CLARK: They’d forget in a week or fifteen.
MARTHA: Go wash that lying mouth out with soap, Clark! And GO help that woman!
That’s the third glass of wine, isn’t it? Has she eaten before or is she going on an empty stomach?
This will be covered in the next part.
Because their eyes would be focused on other parts of her body?
RALPH: I don’t know what they’re talking about. I’ve NEVER looked Lois in the eye. They say that’s when wild beasts attack.
CLARK: I could have had you *fired* for that. Sending you to dig in the dirt *was* being nice.
True.
LEX: /confused/ That’s what therapists are for.
Dr. CARLIN:
CLARK: /huh/ (If I told her what I think, she might hit me.)
Or call him 3-letter names.
LOIS: It’s the wine talking. And the self pity. You should have seen my mother when she was slushed.
LOIS: No, wait. Strike that. I don’t want anyone to meet my mother.
/imagines Superman dressed as a catholic school girl with a cape/
SUPERMAN: I make this look good.
LOIS: I haven’t kissed Lex.
No?
Maybe if he made more of an effort as Clark.
He’s not good at that.
But he did do that. Kind of.
Not in this story.
I’m sure Lois wouldn’t turn him down.
Well…neither is an illicit affair. Unless the not-in-a-relationship party starts to want more.
LOIS: So, Superman wants to skip relationship for a full on illicit affair. I can accept those terms.
CLARK: I didn’t… er… HE didn’t say that!
So, in this way, Lex is just like Lois.
Oh, look! She found his off-switch
I thought it was ‘on’. It’s why his mind went blank.
Did she just compare it to solicitation?
LEX: Sounds about right. I’m still paying for Arianna.
‘upset’. ‘slushed’. Same difference.
He’s too polite to take advantage of a drunk friend.
Well…if she put out *before* the marriage, he’d have no incentive to marry her.
LOIS: No! Michael. That’s not nice.
Clark’s breaking heart disagrees.
Women can’t say ‘yes’ if the question is never popped.
Nope. In this story, Lois accepted Lex before Clark could pour out his heart on the park bench.
Hey, I just realized. If Lois dumped Lex and married Clark, the photos would become worthless to LFI.
SPENCER: You paid HOW much for semi-nude photos of some square reporter? Wow. You’re fired.
Exactly.
CLARK: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
But he will keep lying to her about his identity until the kids fly out of the nest. Literally.
LOIS: Don’t be ridiculous. Why would we live in a nest?
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e015.gif)
A bit fixated, aren’t we? What if he dated her as Superman, then transformed into Clark and dumped her? That way, she’d be disillusioned about the hero and ready to date Clark? /peep/ No?
No, I doubt that would work.
Hey look! She got slushed on purpose. Now she has to stay the night and the blackmailer will have more photos of her. This time, on how she twotimes her fiancé.
LOIS: At least I won’t be nude in these photos.
CLARK: No?
She was always wearing her panties, so she’s not naked?
LOIS: See?
Exactly.
He’s useless without a coat.
Or a cape.
No, Lois always wants to investigate.
CK: Okay. I can’t deny that.
Drunk Lois is fun!
PAUL: No. And I’ve tried.
She’s not drunk. She’s tipsy.
Again, what’s with this ‘End of part’ thing…?
I know it's been a while, but that's what I usually write at the end of parts. Would you rather have ‘BTC’?
