/buckles in for wild ride/ PAUL: So did I after I did the photographs. Boy, what a letdown that one was. I mean, sure, I didn’t expect a black track, but the *trainings hill*? Really?
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He caught sight of Jack, who was on a soda break, and waved.
LEX: Who put that vending machine into the break room?
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“Interoffice mail,” Jack said, flicking the corner of the envelope where a postal stamp usually went. “No stamp.”
Oops? CLARK: Umm…smart kid?
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“It’s really not all that secure a process.”
So, one could leave poison or explosive devices and some such and it would get delivered right to the newsroom to take out the intended party? LOIS: No, usually someone of the *other* noisy staff will open it first, trying to steal a story and die from the process. Not that *I* have done something of that sort.
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Jack grinned. “Ah, Clark. You know we don’t have any secrets here at the Daily Planet,” he teased.
Was that one of the corporate culture seminars LexCorp tried to introduce last week? It failed because the Editor in Chief vanished the therapist.
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Jack had been dropping hints that he knew Clark’s secret.
“We also don’t repeat them haphazardly,” Clark responded. “If we did, someone could get hurt.”
Ooooh! Threat! JACK: I din’t see anythin’! I still need me private parts!
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“Will do, Clark. You going to tell me what this is about?” Jack asked.
No.
“We’ll see,” Clark said,
So, still with the lying?
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Even a blackmailer didn’t deserve a death sentence for threatening Lois.
LOIS:
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Keeping secrets was certainly a recipe for marital disaster, but he knew Lois’s fiancé was already holding much back from her. As Clark wouldn’t mind if Lois and Luthor broke up, he would actively encourage Lois’s behavior, especially since she had turned to him, Clark, for help.
He’s quite the happy schemer, isn’t he? CLARK: I’ve watched many an Ivory Tower with Lois.
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Jack had delivered one more picture after lunch and a fourth before the end of the day, saying he thought it was best if it didn’t wait until the next day.
Oh boy. CLARK:
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In the fourth, she gave the camera a suggestive look while holding a banana.
Also, Gilmore Girls on Spring Break:
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Clark wasn’t sure of the blackmailer’s motives for continuing to send Lois photos throughout the day – one at her apartment the night before, one at the office before work, one after lunch, and one after at the end of the work day.
To give Clark something to look forward to and to distract him from finding the source of the photos. CLARK: You mean, stop me from finding the remaining photos that I would so love to see? BLACKMAILER:
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Was the blackmailer just trying to remind Lois that he had quite a few of these photos or was he doing it to drag out her torture?
Maybe he doesn’t like her and prefers some sadistic pleasure? MRS. COX:
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Paul Bender worked in corporate media relations for some bank, writing press releases touting how wonderful the bank was for foreclosing on so many delinquent mortgage holders.
So, grade-A job? PAUL: I get paid by the press release. You’d be surprised how many press releases you can write about each individual foreclosure.
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Next, he merely had to narrow down the list of everyone else who could possibly have a grudge against Lois, or Luthor, to those with means and opportunity, not to mention the smarts not to leave any traces, but not enough smarts to leave Luthor well alone.
So, Kyle Griffin and Bill Church, Jr?
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He shouldn’t have been surprised, but it had been so long since she had visited his apartment, it had fallen out of the range of possibilities.
Well…he now owes her and she always collects.
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“Have you found the negatives yet, Clark?”
Couldn’t he use his heatvision to heat the city to the point where the negatives (and the remaining photos) melt and/or combust?
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“I’m still looking for the blackmailer,” he confessed, shutting the door and following her down the steps.
“I knew I shouldn’t have passed this on to you,” she snapped, continuing into his kitchen.
yeah, he’s useless without his coattails to hang on to.
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She buried her face in her hands. “What must you think of me?” she mumbled.
CLARK:
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She scoffed, “The story of my life.” She poured herself another generous glass of wine. “I’ll never be stupid enough to be hoodwinked by another con man again.”
LEX: CLARK: Maybe I shouldn’t reference Lex in the future. Ever.
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Clark shifted uncomfortably in his shoes. He could name two men in Lois’s life who were lying to her; one was her fiancé and the other was him.
Yeah, but he’s not a conman. Just a liar.
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So what if they’re published in Love Fortress. They aren’t even that risqué.
What part about ‘that is only the start’ didn’t he get?
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She lifted up her head and glared at him. “Would you be saying the same thing to Superman, if someone said that they had naked photos of him that were up for sale?”
CLARK: My mom would never sell those pictures of me playing with the garden hose while I was in kindergarten!
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“You’re na…n… nude?”
Duh!
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Her lips pressed into a straight line. “No.” She swallowed another gulp of wine.
No?
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“But I might as well be.” She reached into her jacket pocket and drew out another manila envelope that she promptly slapped against his chest.
Oh boy.
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While her chest was in shadow, it cast a mighty-fine silhouette of her bare chest. He could even see the bright whiteness of her bikini bottoms… underwear.
Well…Oscar winners have shown more.
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I might as well change my name, move to Kansas, and become a farmer’s wife.”
CLARK: MARTHA: Don’t be silly, dear! With those photos, you’d be an outcast in the entire church community! CLARK: *Mom*! MARTHA: Don’t you ‘Mom’ me and go help her!
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“Oh.” She poured herself another glass.
That’s the third glass of wine, isn’t it? Has she eaten before or is she going on an empty stomach?
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“I’d never be able to look my friends and colleagues in the eye again,” she went on.
Because their eyes would be focused on other parts of her body?
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picking up the half-full wine bottle and removing it to his kitchen.
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His brow furrowed. “Haven’t I always been nice to you?”
“I have a Godzilla doll that proves otherwise.”
CLARK: I could have had you *fired* for that. Sending you to dig in the dirt *was* being nice.
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“God! You saw right off the bat that something was wrong and we hardly speak anymore… and he… he…”
LEX: That’s what therapists are for.
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“Why am I marrying him?” she asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation.
CLARK: (If I told her what I think, she might hit me.)
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He’s my hero, but he’s not even real!”
LOIS: It’s the wine talking. And the self pity. You should have seen my mother when she was slushed.
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“He’s a school girl fantasy.
/imagines Superman dressed as a catholic school girl with a cape/
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Clark couldn’t help staring at her in surprise. He rated second…Well, technically, first and second… above Luthor? Above her fiancé?
LOIS: I haven’t kissed Lex.
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Nice to know.
Also, not so nice.
Maybe if he made more of an effort as Clark.
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If Miranda’s Revenge spray had worked on him and he had pulled me into his embrace, professing his undying love…”
But he did do that. Kind of.
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He’s good for rescues and high adrenaline stuff…”
Like kissing? Clark wondered.
Or a booty call?
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“But for the day-to-day real world? Eating breakfast or just hanging out? Someone I can spend the day with, go for walks in the park with, laugh with? Someone I can both discuss the issues with and bare my heart to, and then cuddle up next to and watch a movie with? Nah. I can’t picture it.” She threw her hands into the air again. “So, that isn’t love either. Trust me, I wish it could be, but it isn’t.”
Well…neither is an illicit affair. Unless the not-in-a-relationship party starts to want more.
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Clark knew he should just keep his mouth shut, but the words fell out before he could stop them. “Then why are you marrying him?”
“I’m not marrying Superman!” Lois roared with sudden laughter and then froze, staring at Clark. “Why? Did he say something?”
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“Of course!” Lois scoffed. “Well, okay, not really. Lex doesn’t like to debate things. There’s his opinion and his opinion. He’ll tell you a hundred reasons why you’re wrong until you change your mind, but he never changes his.”
So, a keeper, then?
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She rested her hand briefly on his knee.
“It’s not important.” He tried to think how to segue back to his investigation of the blackmailer but his mind went blank.
Oh, look! She found his off-switch
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Actually, most surveys say that sex rate declines after marriage, and I’m just fine with that!”
Having her sex rate decline from zero?
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“Ha! Marriage is a contract; always has been. A business arrangement between two like-minded people for the betterment of their lives,” Lois said.
Did she just compare it to solicitation?
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Clark decided that Lois was too upset by this discussion
‘upset’. ‘slushed’. Same difference.
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“I don’t need a man’s protection!” retorted the woman currently being blackmailed for a million dollars.
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“Because he’s rich?”
“Don’t be an ass, Clark.”
Well…if she put out *before* the marriage, he’d have no incentive to marry her.
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“I’m marrying him because I don’t love him!”
Huh?
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“Self-preservation, Clark! He can’t break my heart if I don’t give it to him!”
Sounds reasonable.
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“Then why get married at all?”
“I… I… I…” she sputtered.
See?
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Why get married at all if this is how you feel about marriage?”
Lois looked down at her shoes. “Because he asked me.”
CLARK: Huh.
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Clark’s mouth opened to say the most obvious of responses, but then closed it for his own self-preservation.
‘He had asked, too’?
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He didn’t want to draw himself personally into their discussion, no matter how sorely he was tempted. He opened his mouth again, but couldn’t think of a single thing to say, so he closed it again.
Hey, I just realized. If Lois dumped Lex and married Clark, the photos would become worthless to LFI.
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Her eyes rose to his. “If I don’t marry Lex, I could fall in love with someone else.”
Clark held her gaze. And?
Yes. That.
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Clark wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and promise to do everything in his ability, which was saying a lot, never to hurt her if given the opportunity to love her.
But he will keep lying to her about his identity until the kids fly out of the nest. Literally.
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was a huge omission, or what she would call a lie,
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“And what if that someone else isn’t a con man, but a man who wants nothing more than your happiness?”
Lois drew in a breath as she stared into his eyes. “Superman doesn’t date,” she whispered.
A bit fixated, aren’t we? What if he dated her as Superman, then transformed into Clark and dumped her? That way, she’d be disillusioned about the hero and ready to date Clark? No?
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“Let me walk you home.”
“I drove.”
Hey look! She got slushed on purpose. Now she has to stay the night and the blackmailer will have more photos of her. This time, on how she twotimes her fiancé.
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Her gaze narrowed. “Yes, we. Do you think I’m going to sit idly by while there’s some stranger out there with naked photos of me?”
“You said you weren’t naked in them.”
She shrugged. “A figure of speech.”
She was always wearing her panties, so she’s not naked? LOIS: See?
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“You had all day, and this is all you found out?”
He’s useless without a coat.
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She pouted. “But I want to do the stakeout.”
Said with a slur.
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“You’re insane. You know that, right?”
LOIS: Bud…aaadorrable!
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Lois hooked her elbow around his as they walked down the stairs. “I’ve missed you, Clark Kent.”
He smiled.
The feeling was mutual.
Drunk Lois is fun! PAUL: No. And I’ve tried.
Again, what’s with this ‘End of part’ thing…?
Michael
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That’s what therapists are for.
(If I told her what I think, she might hit me.)
No?