Yea! You wrote the happy side of the coin.
I, too, was reading this when it cut off mid-scene, but once I hit refresh it was complete.
Maybe there were too many of us reading it at once.
For a second there, I wondered if you meant to cut off in the middle of a word... Clark fading away as he lamented about Lois's passing, but as I read on (now refreshed), I realized it was a scene too soon.
You had so many beautifully written passages tugging at my heart throughout. I'll see how many of them I can spot tonight.
My parents.
I could not have done this on my own. I could not have found the strength to wrestle with the weird and terrifying array of powers that have so recently swallowed up any idea that I was just an ordinary child.
This -- as many of these stories do -- made me think of Alt-Clark and how the poor fellow had to do it alone.
The way they have tirelessly worked with me to help me find ways to control the terrifying powers that have erupted into my life, turning my world upside down and destroying any sense of security and normalcy that I once possessed. The ceaselessly patient way they have guided me and come up with solutions to help me control the things that I can do, to the point now where my restraint over those powers is as natural as breathing, and it seems almost difficult to remember how hard I had to work to find that restraint.
If my kids ever think of me half as wonderfully as this, I'll chalk myself up as a success.
The quiet here is astounding. For the first time, I know true silence. There is no expectation of hearing a sudden burst of radio static or the barking of a dog, several long miles down the road. All I can hear is the inner workings of my body.
It's peaceful.
Why I write late into the night even though I have to get up early to get the kids ready for school.
Now, I can give my parents the world.
What a great son!
I've exposed myself as something other than human in order to hide the fact that I am something other than human. It's simultaneously terrifying and thrilling, insanely stupid and the best idea I've ever had, reckless and carefully calculated for the risks it poses.
I love the dichotomy of this decision.
Funny, how my anonymity depends so heavily on thrusting myself into the limelight of celebrity status - how I've become the least known man in the world while becoming the most famous face the world has ever seen.
Good point!
It's the perfect place to rejuvenate my body and mind, reflecting on...well, usually on Lois, if I'm being honest.
If you can't be honest with yourself, your readers will figure out the truth soon enough... as we do during Lois's POVs.
For the first time, I feel like I might have a chance at finding love and the happily ever after I've always imagined for myself. If only she would see it that way.
Awww.
I know that, for me, coming home put me at ease. Showing Lois around, introducing her to people I'd known all my life, put me in a different state of mind. I wasn't trying to impress her. I was trying to help her become comfortable in her new surroundings.
Interesting analysis. Usually when people take people home with them they try to put on airs and impress them. Once again, Clark did the opposite.
I wish I could remember them. Something. Anything. Their voices, undisturbed by the metallic, somehow "off" resonance of the holograms, as if their technology could not capture a pure, unadulterated sound. The echo of their laughter in the back of my mind. The scents that were uniquely them - a certain perfume or cologne - the way certain fragrances have always reminded me of my Earth family. Even a ghostly remembrance of the feel of their hands, the feel of their lips as they kissed my newborn head. Something.
You capture his frustration at his never knowing well here.
Will I one day awaken in the middle of the night once again, to find more of my past revealed? Will the globe ever come alive again, to show me more about the people who gave me life? Try as I might, I have not been able to get the globe to talk to me since that fifth and final message from Jor-El.
Now, Kal-El, that you've reached your 30th Earth year, plenty of time to become a man, it is time to tell you about your birth wife...
And suddenly, just like that, the hurtful words we'd fired at each other like devastating missiles were erased from reality. Wounds were healed and forgiven. Our friendship was patched, as seamless as it once was, as if there had never even been a tear in the fabric to begin with.
So, now, I'm going to contemplate on Lois's strange lapses in memory and sudden anti-Superman feelings. Should I not have rejected her so bluntly as Superman last spring?
Right. No tears. Seamless. Uh-huh. (Yes, I know this scene is from before Mrs. Luthor shows up.)
It's my own fault, really. Superman was never supposed to be recognizable as Clark Kent. I've gone to painstaking lengths to distance the two men from each other as much as possible. Superman is supposed to be a distraction - the garish colors of his uniform are meant to dazzle the eye so that no one sees the man beneath it all. So, I don't blame Lois for being blind to the fact that it's really me, Clark, hiding beneath that cape.
No, Clark, all it means is that she's never looked at Superman's face.
But mostly, I won't hold myself back. For the first time, I'll be able to compliment her the way she deserves - not as a friend or fellow reporter - but as a deeply enthralled man to the woman who's captured his heart. For once, if I am allowed to kiss her, I won't have to hold back. I won't have to make it a ruse to deceive others. I won't have to rein in my emotions. I won't have to make it chaste or merely friendly. I won't have to do it with my heart breaking in two. I'll simply be able to be me - fully, unrestrained, completely honestly me.
Nope. He's still going to hold back, because she doesn't know you're Superman.
Instead, she let me know that the fragile mask of Superman had broken in her eyes. She'd seen the man beneath the S shield. Clark could no longer cower behind a cape and Superman could no longer hide behind a pair of glasses. Two men no longer existed. They had become one for her.
Great descriptions!
Tonight, my brain is firing at lightning speed and rest is as elusive as a unicorn.
Could it have something to do with the fact that you're now free to marry Lois and soon?
The rush, the excitement, the feeling of belonging that I would have once I met others like me. As it turned out, the fantasy was better than the reality. Instead of feeling an instant connection and belonging, I've never felt so alone or so much like an outsider in all my life. Strange customs that I stumbled over. Constantly feeling scrutinized, as though my every breath were being weighed to see if I was worthy of the name of El.
Good point!
What God has joined, no man, nor beast, nor villain, nor space rock, nor circumstance, nor superhero will ever be able to tear asunder.
I love the additions to this familiar phrase.
But the truth is this: while I was always more or less upbeat and usually quick to see the bright side of things, Lois herself was the reason for my overwhelming optimism. And she remains the reason why I look forward to whatever life throws at us next.
Awwwww.
The life-changing moment when you emerged into the world and screamed at the unfairness of leaving the warm, dark home of your mother's womb - a cry of defiance that so perfectly mirrored your mother.
I've always liked this place - the peace it can bring when the world gets to be too much, when the demands on Superman threaten to break him. And maybe you like it here too, for after a few minutes, your crying ceased and your lids grew heavy with sleep as I rocked you from side to side. A few hiccups escaped you as you settled down - last reminders of how hard your sobbing had been - making me smile and threatening to make my heart burst with the love I have for you.
Maybe the noise of Metropolis was too much for him, too. Maybe it wasn't colic.
Let's make a deal, okay? I won't tell your mother about tonight if you won't.
Uh-oh, Clark! Keeping secrets from your wife, again?
My heart has been broken since the moment your heart stopped beating. My world shattered. I won't pretend that there haven't been days, weeks, months of good times since then, when I've been around our family. But every day, every happy moment, has been tinged with sadness. I'll think to myself, "I wish Lois could see this," or "Lois would have gotten such a kick out of that." And my heart will bleed anew.
Still wonderful to the end, Clark, you are.
For, soon, Lois, I will be with you. Soon, I will be able to follow you to where you have gone. Soon, we will be reunited once more. Soon, my soul will meet yours and become complete again.
Together, for all eternity.
As it should be.
Thanks for highlighting all the good times, too, DC.
