Oh dear, just 2 more parts till the summer hiatus
Lois stopped. What? Clark did what? She pointed at him.
And is a vow made to another person even binding?
“Isn’t that making decisions about our relationship without consulting me?” she asked.
To be fair, he made that one when he broke up with his fiancée and decided to become a born-again virgin.
LOIS:
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“No. It’s making decisions about my life, and what’s right for me,”
Yes, but in this case, it also affects other people’s lives.
“And what’s right for Superman.”
Oh, he did it so there wouldn’t be any little Superboys and Supergirls flitting around.
LOIS:
“No, no, no, no!” Lois demanded, waving her finger. “He doesn’t exist. He has no part in this conversation. This is between you and me, bub. What’s right for me and you!”
Aww…did she just realize that Superman is what’s standing between her and sexual satisfaction?
“If we have…” He lowered his voice again. “Pre-marital relations… and then, if somehow my cover is blown,
So, if Lois blows his cover?
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it will be discovered that so did Superman. He’s a role model for millions of people. He needs to live to a higher standard.”
Millions of people happily consenting to enormous amounts of premarital sex: That ship has sailed.
Lois’s lips pinched into a knot. “And I’m not a high enough standard for Superman?”
CLAKR: Well…I guess…I mean, I can barely afford the 1000 bucks a night, so…I guess…but…
“So,” she said, holding up her hand to keep him from interrupting. “What you’re saying is that you’ve made this decision about your life, because of Superman, in the off-chance that your cover is ever blown?” Skepticism dripped from her tone.
Isn’t it funny that the actual scandal will be when his cover is blown *while* Superman has marital relations with Lois Lane?
I don’t want it to. It ruined my old life. It’s why I left there and came here to start anew.”
That’s a lie. He left because his future didn’t contain a Lois.
CLARK: No, not exactly. I left because my cover was blown and there was an available Lois over here. That’s not the same thing as leaving because there is no Lois back home.
LOIS:
“Oh,” she whispered. That made sense. “Your secret was revealed and then we were separated?”
“Yes.”
He’s pretty good at this lying while not telling a falsehood.
She stopped a few yards down the path and took both his hands in hers. “Did we…” She glanced away, not knowing why this was so embarrassing.
No, otherwise he wouldn’t have vowed to stay abstinent.
LOIS:
He should have vowed not to stay obstinate instead.
“So, you’re saying that in the future, we never…”
Hooked up? Made like Cat and Phil in the copyroom? Danced the horizontal tango? Cleaned the ceiling? Made Wink Wink Honk Honk?
“Gosh, Lois, no!” he gasped. “We’d only been together a few days.”
CAT:
Actually, what he was saying now was almost completely contradictory to what he had told her before.
She does realize that most liars get caught because they’re not able to tell their lie consistently?
So, maybe she had known Clark Kent, or however he called himself in this now-lost future, but it was only after he confessed that he had these abilities with her that she suggested the whole disguise for going out and helping people. Yes, that did make sense.
How about, the Lois he is talking about arrived from a parallel universe, thought he was her own Clark, tried to boink him, and when that didn’t work, convinced him to dump his fiancée and don some fancy skisuit and a blanket and go out to assassinate the mayoral candidate during a rally?
LOIS:
…
…
…
…
…
She needed to distract him from these negative thoughts, though. “How familiar are you with bases, Clark?”
CLARK: There’s Area 51. The EPRAD launch pad. That B39 warehouse. The army base up north…
“It’s a great game. Too bad the Monarchs won’t make it into the Series this year.”
Aww…he just told her that they won’t be Wink Wink Honk Honk this year.
She looked into the grey sky and hoped he wasn’t going to make her spell it out. “Not baseball, Chuck. Just the bases.”
He looked completely lost.
CLARK: Crises averted.
“Can you define ‘abstinent’?”
Like ‘you’re being abstinent if you manage to sneak nookie without her parents knowing’?
Tripping over a dust particle, he hissed, “Lois!”
“How will you ever get better enough to be ready, if you… we don’t work on it?” she inquired.
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They could play cards?
“I’m sure it’s like riding a bicycle…”
Did he just admit that he…?
“It’s nothing like riding a bicycle,” she interrupted.
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Corrina’s Aussie Rules! He just called her the town bike!
“And unlike a car, you don’t get to test drive it first,” she mumbled,
and then recalled that she already had.
So she did *not* lie, apparently.
“Clark, how will anyone know that he… that you, Clark Kent, are being intimate with your girlfriend?
She does realize the amount of electronic vermin her apartment over the last couple of months, right?
I wasn’t planning on bragging… or talking about it with anyone.” Okay, maybe Lucy.
LUCY: No *way*! You’re doing *Superman*?
“And why would they believe you?” Lois asked.
“Because Superman doesn’t lie.”
Right.
She rested her cheek on her palm and looked at him. Except for the lie of omission, she thought.
Like ‘Lois and I were not consummating our marriage’? Or ‘I was not trying to make a Kryptonian/human hybrid with my girlfriend in an attempt to establish a dynasty and rule the entire world’?
“Couldn’t you just say instead, that you refuse to discuss your relationship as it’s private?” she asked.
PRESS: Superman confirmed today that he is having premarital relations with his favorite rescue target.
He frowned. “Try as we might, Lois, you know as well as I do that the media doesn’t allow celebrities a fully private life.”
Couldn’t he burn those reporters and publishers to a crisp who dare to invade his privacy? I’m sure they’d stop after the first dozen or so attempts?
“But it’s not as if they would know what we do in the privacy of our homes. Only Superman has x-ray vision.”
What about telescope lenses?
How much time we spent together in the privacy of each other’s homes would be timed and debated,
He could stay for no more than 5 minutes a pop?
RALPH:
I wouldn’t even put it past some tabloid reporters from breaking in to see what they could discover.”
Maybe if they broke into both their homes *and* her doctor’s office and they find no hints or records of them owning any form of birth control?
TRASK:
He had replaced the glass-paneled front doors shortly after he had moved in with heavy solid wood doors and installed a top-of-the-line dead bolt lock.
Over here, you can buy doors that have a steel plate inside, use more than a dozen deadbolts, a magnetic key, steel door frame. Basically, you need heavy machinery and an hour to break in.
“Okay, let’s talk about our future. How slow is ‘slow’? How far is ‘too far’?”
Clark groaned. “I would fall in love with a woman with unquenchable curiosity.”
Actually, unquenchable hornieness.
“But I could do with a little less pressure.”
They’ve no gotten pills for that?
“Right. Sorry. It’s dropped. I can do that. Easy going. That’s me. Live one day at a time. Light as a feather. No pressure whatsoever.” They walked on in silence for a whole six point two seconds. “Why exactly did you make this oath again?”
Adorable!
“I promised God that I’d behave until marriage if the life of a friend of mine could be spared,” he replied.
To be fair, he made that one in bad faith.
‘the’?
It’s not as if I had been stuck on a space station for eight weeks with nothing better to do than twiddle my thumbs and use my imagination daydreaming of what we could be doing if I were on Earth…
“Promised God.” Oh, great. How am I supposed to compete with that without looking like the devil incarnate?
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“I don’t know if I…”
She felt his hands cover hers. “Sure you can. Lois Lane can do anything she sets her heart to.”
She should take the edge off with
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Lois stepped back into his embrace and shrugged against his chest. “I had been thinking about giving you that other gift I had bought for your birthday,” she said.
A little black number?
and refused to let him coerce her into marriage before she was ready.
Somehow, this is *so* wrong.
