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oh,no.
oh, no. no, no, no, no.
Do it? Her eyes widened. Oh gosh. Sex. How’s that going to work?
Quick! Someone draw her a diagram!
“The date. When would you like to get married?”
To say it again.
No, no, no, Clark, you don't want to marry Lois like this.
Clark stood quietly, just looking at her for a few moments. If I don’t play this right it could all come crashing down on me.
Oh, good, part of his brain is still working.
Clark chose to take that as a good sign and a grin was plastered on his face all the way to his own apartment.
Or not.
Maybe that was always meant to be, too. Well, I guess I can deal with it then. I can learn to live with my feelings. And it’s not going to be so bad. In fact, loving him may possibly make this marriage easier to deal with.
I find it interesting that Lois doesn't even consider WHY Clark wants this so much or what his own feelings towards her might be.
No. I thought I just loved him ... and was ‘in love’ with him.[i/] She opened her mouth in shock when she remembered the things Clark had done to her in the dream.
You've got a slash after "i" italics marker here.
Does she want a ring?
Does she want to tell people?
Does she want to tell them that it’s just a marriage of convenience?
His heart nearly broke at that thought, but he squashed the feeling, choosing to hope for the best.
How shall I tell her about Superman?
When shall I tell her?
How shall I tell her my true feelings?
Should I tell her my true feelings?
Okay, let's take all these questions slowly. /breathe in and out/ Yes. Better her than you. Okay, scratch that last one and make it BOTH of you, together. Yes. Once she stops freaking out. By being honest. DUH! YES! Does that help?
I think she’s going to be more upset about the Superman thing, rather than my romantic feelings for her. Which one shall I tell her first then? Which way round would be better?
Love first, then Superman. Knowing that you love her will reassure her before you drop the heavy (and red) boot. Then, if she freaks out that you love her and breaks off the engagement, then you know its for the best that she not know your secret.
She held her phone to her ear whilst randomly pulling clothes out of drawers to pack. The phone continued to ring but she waited. Needing to close the top of her suitcase she tried to balance the phone on her shoulder wedged to her ear. Kneeling on the case, sitting and bouncing on it and finally, just plain shouting at it, didn’t work. She also gave up on waiting for Clark to answer and then threw the phone to the other side of the room.
In frustration she dropped to the floor on her knees and braced herself with her hand. A few tears trickled out and she swiped them away.
Okay, I read a few things into this (these) paragraph(s). I don't know if you meant to lead us astray with red herrings, or if I'm just projecting more angst into your story, because... well, you can. First, she called Clark. He didn't answer. I figured she called his home number and it rang off the hook because he wasn't there. Then I thought when she dropped the phone on the floor, Clark was going to freak out because he could hear Lois fighting with something (suitcase, but he doesn't know that) and then show up at her apartment as Superman to save the day, only to have Lois have to admit to her hero that she was now off the market and see that she was hesitant about it.
And this bikini. Who exactly are you trying to impress on the beach?
Ooooh! I know this one. Your fiance when he flies in to visit you.
CLARK:
She grabbed the suitcase and lugged it to the door then picked up her purse and jacket. One quick glance around the room to check on closed doors and windows then she was gone.
Then, here, I thought her phone was still on the floor and Clark was going to freak out because she wasn't answering her phone. Or when he knocked on her door in the next scene (I won't quote it), he would see it on the floor and worry she had been kidnapped by someone who stole her clothes but left her heavy jacket and bikini.
Looking at the time he pursed his lips in annoyance. Superman. That’s why. Stupid nuclear meltdown. Why can’t the Russians take better precautions?
Duh! This universe has a Superman. Why take precautions?
Clark let himself fall back to his pillow, keeping the phone close to his ear. Is this because of last night? But he dare not actually ask the question.
YES! And, yes, don't ask that.
“Night, Lois,” he replied gently. “I love you,” he whispered into the receiver, but the dial tone was already ringing in his ear.
Awwwww. I hope she heard him. (checks part number 10/18) so that would be a NOPE.
Enter Martha to Gibbs-slap Clark in the back of the head and leave. Enter Jonathan who sits down with his son and explains ONCE AGAIN how to woo a woman. Enter Martha again to Gibbs-Slap Clark again.
What a rollercoaster ride, KK. More, please.
