So, now for the catching up part… Or is it catching up on parts?
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Since Mrs. Cox had pulled the plug on the Daily Planet, Kent and his buddies had been keeping some strange hours.
Working as male-order prostitutes?

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It was getting closer to Lois’s wedding date with Luthor and, though Jack hated to admit he cared, nobody deserved that fate. Honestly, Jack was amazed that she had survived this long.
She’s better in the sack than her previous boyfriends gave her credit for?

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Jack might never have been so lucky, but he recognized a man spruced up for his chances with the ladies when he saw one.
Pizza delivery? And he hoped to score with the recipient since Clark had told him to give Lois his best?

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Jack might only be a street kid, but he was smart enough to connect dots.
[Linked Image]

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He didn’t see anything other than a momentary and strange deep pink streak in the sky,
So, red cape and blue…suit?

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What Jack must have thought was fuchsia had probably been the man’s red cape.
But him holding Lois is quite fun, too.
CLARK: So much fun!

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In the papers and on TV, sure, but seeing him live right in front of Jack would make him seem all the more real. He still couldn’t believe that such a man existed.
Oooh! Is this reason why small children are taken to the mall to visit Santa?

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Jack hadn’t even known Clark had been at home this whole time.
[Linked Image] He has to keep his dalliances quiet. Lois owns a watch and knows how to use it.

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The woman was practically hanging off Kent’s arm. After shutting the door behind them, Kent wrapped his other arm around the woman’s waist and lifted her off the ground to press a less than innocent kiss on her lips.
jawdrop What did he do to his skank of the ball back there? And will she be alive come the morrow?

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Why was Kent kissing this other woman? Oh, God! What had that drowned spider really meant? Had she broken up with him?
No, it meant that she knew he had caught 8 women in his web.

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The dark haired woman placed her fingers over his mouth, cutting off whatever he had been about to say. “Lola is my sister,” she corrected, stepping out of his embrace.

“No. Wanda is Lola’s blonde sister and still hidden away up in my apartment,” Kent said.
rotflol
JACK: What a *stud*!

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Jack didn’t think his jaw could fall open any further. Two women? Kent had two women at the same time in his apartment?
I just realized something! He’s a Mormon adhering to the traditional practices! Either that, or he’s a Kryptonian Lord, having purchased several concubines.
LOLA: mad *Purchased*?

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“Don’t forget that underneath all this, I’m still a Mad Dog,” the woman growled, grabbing his arm between her fingers. “Maybe now I’m a Doberman Pinscher, too.”
rotflol Drunk on love. And some cheap booze Ralph left over at the wedding?

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“Lead…”

A cat chose that moment to jump out of the planter, scaring Jack half to death.
Poor guy, good thing he’s wearing leaded underwear.

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“Then we fly away into the sunset, never to be heard from again, until we do have the goods on him,” Minnie replied, setting her hands on his chest.

Or maybe Kent is just really, really smart.
He’s very experienced with the volatile sex?

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“I thought so,” she replied with a giggle, and Jack realized from where he recognized her voice.

They turned the corner and disappeared from Jack’s sight. He knew Bobby was never wrong.
laugh

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He nodded, looked around, and then waved Lois into an empty alcove. “Not anymore. Apparently, the disk has been disinfected.”
So, LNN got good AV software?

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You said that you’d take care of it,”
Apparently, he did.

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She had begun to respect him after she inadvertently on-purpose overheard him arguing on the telephone with someone above his pay-grade how LNN’s news coverage of Superman was biased and more a joke than a reflection of reality.
ROBERTSON: I have not worked Mondays to Thursday all the way till lunch to have you turn LNN into a joke! If you want to sully Superman’s reputation, do it in a clever way. A way that doesn’t look like we’re reprinting the Pravda!

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“You have a wedding to prepare for, Ms. Lane,” Robertson reminded her. “Don’t forget you’re still on city hall duty until the end of the day, and then you’re on hiatus until you return from your honeymoon.”
Or goes on maternity leave. Whichever comes first.

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The worst thing to bring to an interview was low self-esteem.
What about a wanted-poster when interviewing for a place at the police academy?
ZED: wave

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That was if he factored out the time lost waking up in a cold sweat from Lois and Lex nightmares.
Hmm…I think he’s not really understood the concept of a ‘wet dream’, has he?

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it was only a matter of time before Superman’s reputation was restored and the real villain was exposed.
Prof. Daitch?
LOIS: Close enough, so long as it gets my snugglebums out of the spotlight.

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“It would be a great way to cover up money coming in which wasn’t legally supposed to be there.”
So, lots of businesses are ‘buying insurance’ and then they just go away again. But of course, Lex still needs to drain the funds back out of the insurance business?

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“You mean, like cooking the books?”
No wonder Lois hasn’t found a thing.
LOIS: mad Is that a cooking joke?

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where did this money come from?”
Business ‘buying insurance’…

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“Yeah,” Clark admitted. “If we don’t find enough to put Luthor down for good…”
They could have Clark put Lex down Kryptonian style.

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Did that mean that he shouldn’t put together everything necessary for that contingency, the life on the road with Lois, including a suitcase full of her clothes taken from their laundry dates?
laugh
LOIS: Now, where did all my fancy underwear go…

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Absolutely not! It was already waiting for their hasty arrival next to his duffle in the Kents’ guest bedroom.
Awww…look! He’s gotten a poor man’s Creepy Bunker Apartment™ set up!

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That was Luthor, though. Why do something for less when one could make a big huge unnecessary gesture?
Maybe he doesn’t want to know? Or, maybe, he already put up cameras, figured out just what a skank he’s about to get into, and then had the indoor equipment set up so the marriage would still go through since that’s the only way Betsy is going to allow him to have some fun with his soon be dearly departed soon to be new wife?

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“We have him, don’t we?” Jimbo asked, glancing between them.
For breaking and entering Lois’s apartment?

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“Unfortunately not, Jim,” Perry replied. “All Luthor has to say was that he was working on plans to rebuild the paper, but was only postponing it until after he returned from his honeymoon.”
Well, even if he said he just decided to pocket the money, all they’d have him for would be him being a scuzzball.

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“I’m sure… she wouldn’t, CK,” Jimbo sputtered. “Not even to…”
Well…if you look at the history books, a lot of women have said ‘yes’ to scuzzballs for quite less money.
RALPH: One just said ‘yes’ to me for a nifty 50 bucks the other night!

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“She won’t,” Clark answered definitively. He wouldn’t let her martyr herself in that manner.
Wouldn’t she need to die during the process to achieve martyrdom?
LOIS: Hello! Not going to want to live after Lex, so…
CLARK: cat

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If Clark had to make love to her himself to stop her from willingly marrying Luthor to save the Daily Planet, it was a sacrifice he was prepared to make.

Some things were worse than death.
Aww…Clark!
CLARK: What? At least she’d go out happy!

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Martha had seemed to enjoy far too much helping him muck up these second hand clothes he used for farming. A part of him thought he had the odor of the country more than the city though.
clap Funny thing. Did you watch the NCIS episode with Tony as a hobo two weeks ago?

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Of course, it could have been the piglet he caught the other day. She didn’t seem to like flying very much.
Good thing Lois got a stronger bladder?
CLARK: It’s why I always carry Ralph or other crooks away from my body.

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He decided, then and there, never to get on Martha Kent’s bad side.
Sheep shifting:


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Clark would make sure that the Superman Foundation supplied Bobby and the Fifth Street Mission well with good staples.
Truffles, caviar, quail eggs, and Champagne?

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Even those out on the streets occasionally deserved a meal as well as this.
SEWER LEX: I shall venture to eat at the Fifths more often.

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Normally, he didn’t like using tips picked up by his eavesdropping, but it wouldn’t be fair if that grocery store owner got hurt because Superman had turned a blind eye to good information just because of how he got it, either.
That’s how he justifies that he almost *didn’t* help? What is he, a cop worried about due process and lawfully obtained evidence?
[Linked Image]

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The boss thinks it’s the best way to teach Chen his lesson,
Since Clark thought ‘The Boss’ was a name a couple of paragraphs up, wouldn’t it be capitalized here, too?

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“My hair isn’t spiking the way it should, man.
So, this is like a time traveling douche robbing the gunshop were he first asked to try out the gun being sold.

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I look like some country douche bag.”
And he wants to look like a city douche bag instead?
SUPERMAN: Hey! I wear hair gel.
BATMAN: Case and point.

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“Yeah, well, you’re my brother, so if I’m a douche bag, so are you,” Pete retorted.
I thought that was a paternal trait?
DOUCHE BAG #1: And you think our mother didn’t do *two* douche bags in a row?

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Without the spikes, I can’t strike fear into our customers.”
[Linked Image]

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“Hey, that’s not fair, John. Chen will open up to persuasion,” Pete said, stabbing the bench with his pocketknife. “Chicks are different, man.
So, Douche #1 is saying that he’s not into putting pointy objects into chicks, only dudes?

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Clark was close enough now that he caught the older boy’s attention.

“Come on, Pete,” John said, nudging his brother’s shoulder with a nod back towards Clark. “Let’s go get ready for tonight.”
Huh, why do I have the feeling that they’re talking about roughing up, and in case of Douche #1, then having carnal knowledge of that buff homeless dude that’s following them. And have they not watched *any* TV show, where the crazed serial killers often go after their lowlife victims dressed as homeless dudes?

wave Michael

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