Maybe this belongs in the off topic folder, but it's something that's been weighing on my mind for months and I just thought I had to bring it up.
As you may have noticed I changed my last entry and deleted my posts...well I wanted to delete the entire topic but I wasn't given that power and my frustration levels were so high I ended up just deleting it all because the sight of my own words upset me. The reason for my frustration? Lack of feedback, which made me think I was wasting my time even posting my videos in here. Making me think "Oh everyone thinks they suck, where as others are very popular...guess I shouldn't post them anymore." I don't know if this is true or not and really don't even want to know the answer. Maybe some people are more popular than I, but I'd rather believe this isn't high school and that we've all moved past that. Maybe it's just time...maybe there are lots of reasons people fail to feedback some people and give heaps to others. I don't want to sound pety, but sometimes things just bother me that way. I've seen it happen to a lot of people who are hurt by this but don't say anything for the same reason I never did, for looking pathetic for needing the attention. Well, I've done a lot of thinking and I'm past it. I basically don't care if anyone likes or dislikes my videos anymore. Because if I spend days, weeks, months on a video then I've put the work in to it to feel satisfied with myself and what others think no longer matters to me. If I only cared what others thought then I would spend my life trying to please others and I would rather not.
I was also told the streaming video on my site caused problems for some, so I have disabled this and linked the files the old way. I doubt the man who attempted to sell my videos would do it again, or at least I can hope he won't. Right now I have too much on my plate to worry about people like him.
So, I apologize if I alarmed anyone into thinking I was no longer going to make videos. I don't see that happening anytime soon, I have one I'm currently converting to WMV and will post tonight for those interested.
A friend of mine said that maybe people only think people who just started making videos need feedback, but even those who have been doing it for seven years like to be acknowledged as well. I do thank those who always post feedback, Rachel, Kathy, and of course Molsey, and I know others are busy and maybe the enjoy the videos, or maybe they don't. But like I said before, I can't focus on that because then I just get depressed and feel the desire to stop making videos because then I look at it as a waste of time and I don't want to see it that way...ever.
As a personal birthday present to Molsey, who gets another year older today, I've resolved to no longer be so concerned with feedback. She knows how much it gets to me and I just end up stressing or upsetting her which I no longer want to do.
Sorry if this went long, I tend to babble like a brook sometimes.
