I have a confession to make...
<clears throat>
"My name is Helga and I was a serial lurker..."
I was a bad, naughty, naughty lurker. I was lurking since 1996/7 for about 5 years and I never posted feedback.
This is
wrong.
There are lots of reasons why it is wrong, particularly because the authors in this fandom write amazingly good stories and the only thing they get in return are the readers commments... it's not too much to give.
But the reason why I de-lurked was more complicated than guilt about feedback...
About 2 years ago, as well as lurking here, I lurked on another email list as well, connected to an organisation I volunteer for. Lurking was more acceptable there because the list was mostly for passing information on to people who needed it. However, there was a core group of people who posted regularly, and would frequently post off topic, which was also acceptable there. One of these members was pregnant and the baby was overdue, and whilst she was waiting to go into labour she sent a lot of emails to the group, several a day. She was getting more and more impatient, and everyone else sent her loads of messages of support and suggestions that might encourage the baby to show it's face anytime soon. There were a lot of old wife's tales being thrown around, and it was all lots of fun.
Then her emails stopped and she wasn't heard from for a while. I guess everyone assumed that she'd had the baby and was too busy enjoying being a mum to send an email. A few weeks later she finally did post, the baby had died a few hours after being born.
Then I suddenly realised why lurking was wrong. Through their emails I had got to know the people on the group well, but they had no idea who I was. And now I wanted to tell this person how sorry I was to hear about her baby, but I was a complete stranger to her. Would I make it worse for her if I did send a message? I was a stranger intruding on a very personal, private moment. I didn't send an email in the end, I didn't want to take the chance that I could make it worse. As if it could be any worse. I still don't know if I did the right thing.
Well, I decided to stop lurking then.
Especially here... Lois and Clark was the first thing I looked up on the internet. I had been lurking online in the fandom for years. Since Zoom's boards were created I had got to know a lot of the people in the fandom, from their posts their discussions and the fics they wrote. But none of you knew me from Adam. And well, that's just plain creepy.
So I posted. And actually, it's not that hard when you start
And then one day I was bored so I downloaded IRC, and now I wonder why I never did it before.
Besides which, it was about time you all got treated to the wonderfulness that is Helga! You had been missing out for so long!
Helga
