Hobbit level = 1st level support (basically, when you call them and they tell you to reboot right away).
I propose changing the 1st level to Gollum level, since Frodo is a Hobbit. Why Gollum, you ask? Well, the tech support people I usually talk to (sorry, Karen but this doesn't include you, and I apologize to any tech support people out there who aren't this way) are usually unenthusiastic and have unhelpful or even counterproductive suggestions. And you can't quite trust them to have the right answer.
(paraphrased since I don't have a script)
I know another way into Mordor. Well, why didn't you take us there in the first place? You didn't ask.How many times did I feel like I was ensnared by Shelob after a tech support call? Far too many times, especially with Microsoft Tech Support, which I swear I will never call again. How many times do I have to tell you it isn't the freakin' video card?!?!?!?!?!? That's not why my DNS stopped working. Grr. (Hint: delete any memory manager from your config.sys file under Win95. It only took me 3 weeks and innumerable re-installs to solve this without the help of Microsoft.)
