Ahhh, Kae, what to say to an author who is incredibly insightful, and equally amazing:
Well, for starters... this story was passionate and delicate in its situations. I have very rarely seen such things achieved in a story as short as yours (not that it was too short-- okay, it could have been longer
), and for this I commend you!
I may not have said this before, but your presence on this board is dire and while I know you need to make a living... is it really so bad an idea to just stay at home and write fanfiction all day?
Fine. Be that way <g>
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No!" She looked up at him, her eyes bright with tears, and he felt his heart break at the sight. "No," she said more calmly. "Stay. Please."
I love desperation. Desperation makes the world go 'round, and when that desperation is embodied in Lois Lane, you really have something :p .
"Do you still love him?" She looked up sharply, and he winced. "I'm sorry; it's none of my business - "
"I don't know."
" - forget I asked... what?"
"I don't know if I still love him."
While I'm sure someone would say, "How can she love him after what he did to her?" and admittedly, I'm one of them, I understand the reasoning behind this. Its painful giving up on love, on the one person you thought "hung the moon". Lois is such a delicate character, though she is often portrayed as a willful, strong, "woman-in-the-man's-world-surviving", you have brought out the contrast so well in this.
"Do you want me to tear him limb from limb?"
She straightened up in her chair, and her eyes widened in surprise. At least it wasn't what she had feared, but the mental image of Clark giving Claude what he deserved had its appeal. She caught the teasing gleam in her partner's eyes. "Would you do it if I said yes?"
"Would you visit me in my lonely jail if I did?"
"Would you kiss me again if I asked you to?"
The smile vanished from his face, and she felt her breath catch in her throat at the loving expression on his face. Clark Kent didn't need declarations of love to show her that he cared. She closed her eyes, her heart racing as she let her fears be swept away by his kiss.
Ahh WAFFY moments are great
. I liked how you played with the dialogue, keeping it light hearted but not sparing the details that expressed the empassioned love between these two, however much it still lays within the innocent stages.
I'm hoping for a sequel to this... but after you've written the sequel to NWH.
-Jo
