Sonia - I think you've hit one nail on the proverbial head. Lucy doesn't have the same level of scarring - in large part because she has Lois. As for Martha's letter... well, I posted the engagement/wedding ones so maybe what you're looking for is in there
.
Framework - I bow to your longevity. We know several couples who've been married into the mid 20s and a couple into the early 30s at this point [but they moved
]. My parents neared 20 before my mom died - I think they were at 18, but I'm not sure. No, maybe 16... I don't remember - I was 10. That was very wise of your friend and shows just how good a friend she was. DH and I were talking a few weeks ago wondering how many of DD6's kindergarten classmates [20 total] would have parents still married to each other when they graduated high school [we were driving by the new one at the time - and not including those who might be widowed]. We guessed the number would be less than 5, which is very sad. We're fortunate in that most of our friends are in stable marriages - though that can change of course. Most of our married friends are in our married couples Sunday School class which probably helps some. There's one notable exception to that with some friends who split [rightfully so - if I never see him again it'll be too soon] after nearly 20 years. I agree with you that both actions/reactions are understandable. They're coming from very different places and not communicating. It's something that could probably be easily resolved if she'd tell him it bothered her. Clark's trying to be careful but Lois doesn't see that - just that he's having lunch with someone else but no knowledge beyond that - just her own life experiences coloring her perceptions.
Thanks you two!
Carol
