You have created a very convincing AU. It is amazing to read this and really feel time go by. It would be harder to show in the TV series - the passing of time always felt awkward, transitions a bit disorienting. So often in a 1 hour time slot emotions are compressed and resolutions are rushed but real people need that time to process, and crying for hours is very real. But here, the limo and cab rides, Clark allowing himself to finally fall asleep to the sound of Lois's heartbeat, allows the reader to be there with them the whole long day and night, and not lose focus for a second.
One of the things that made Lois ultimately Lois was her tendency to jump in without testing the water level first, as she did here, because she found out Clark's secret too soon. But one of the things that made canon Lois lovable by us and trustable by Clark was the fact that her love for him in the end was stronger than her need to get the story
Your Lois does not get the benefit of that huge redeeming leap of loyalty. I don't know how she stands a chance now, with the readers. Clark might just be lost to taking good care of himself and repeat the same mistake again. I agree with James. Letting her in will make a giant mess, at least at first.
So this story is compelling, and distracting, and disturbing. As pitiful as she is, I can't say I like Lois right now. Some betrayals are too damaging to allow full recovery. Still have to keep reading to see what they do next.
