The Worst Day Ever In Metopolis
Clark heard the strangest of voices from the street outside the Daily Planet. "Meessa eatin' all a da pizza, me missin' little orphan Ani" Clark used his X-Ray vision to look out of the window, and he saw a strange creature sitting at the pizza place across the street. Definitely an alien. He told Lois he had to go buy a My Little Pony for his niece (despite her knowing he was an only child) and rushed off to change into his Ballet clothes with the S on the front and then flew down to meet the alien as Superman.
Two hours later, Superman had a new friend, and as Clark, he had successfully interviewed the alien, whose name was apparently "Jar- Jar Binks", the only survivor of the destruction of a galaxy far, far away. He had, during their interview destroyed six people's businesses, seven cars, and broken two streetlights, all by accident. Then while Superman went to Rome to save people from a nuclear bomb, Jar-Jar met Lois.
After destroying Lois' computer in ANOTHER accident, Jar-Jar told Lois about Clark's Secret Identity, revealed that Jimmy was a cross dresser, and lost his virginity to Cat Grant. Then Lex Luthor's men and Bureau 39 had a war over who was going to kill and dissect Jar-Jar. Lex's men won, and took Jar-Jar (still alive) with them. 3 hours later, Lex Luthor was bankrupt, and Jar-Jar was dead.
Long after this, Superman arrived back in Metropolis. He landed at the Planet, changed back into his Clark clothes, and walked into the newsroom. There he saw Jimmy in a dress singing "Itsy Bitsy Yellow Polka Dot Bikini", Cat crying with Perry comforting her, and Lois was acting strangest of all. She was leaning out of the window yelling "Clarkikins, I love you" over and over.
Clark fixed everything by moving to Gotham and taking the job as Bruce Wayne's personal assistant. At least things wouldn't get weird there....
Last edited by Suggs_With_A_Box; 12/19/15 03:36 AM.
