A Star Wars / L&C Crossover Challenge... A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Jar Jar Binks did something really dumb that wound up destroying the entire galaxy. He was the lone survivor of that explosion, and managed to find his way to earth. Once he arrived, the person who thinks himself to be Krypton's lone survivor* rushed to meet him. What happens next?
*This takes place in season one, so the New Kryptonians are not yet known to Clark.
Joy,
Lynn
p.s., I don't really expect anyone to take me up on this challenge. I just couldn't resist having our favourite alien meet many people's least-favourite one. I actually think Jar Jar Binks is a good character... for a Saturday morning kids' show. He was just put in a movie where he completely did not fit in. But I'd bet three and four year olds would love him.
Ten minutes after meeting Jar-Jar Clark couldn't take it any more. He burned Binks to ashes with his heat vision. The peoples of the Earth, New Krypton, Gallifrey, Eternia, Mobius and Vulcan all let out a collective sigh of relief and the universe went on as always, but just a tiny bit safer than before.
But seriously, I don't mind Jar-Jar, but I don't like him either. I agree that he would have been a good character in something else, but not Star Wars. Speaking of Star Wars, have you seen
this? I think the ending sums George up really well.....
Deadly Chakram needs to include Jar Jar in a sequel to Zed's Order.
Deadly Chakram needs to include Jar Jar in a sequel to Zed's Order.
LOL! I know I torture Clark on occasion in my stories, but that constitutes cruel and unusual punishment!
Clark brings Jar Jar to Metropolis with him. After all, everything's weird in Metropolis, so what's one more strange creature?
Luthor decides to add Jar Jar to his collection, which proves to be a bad idea, because Binks is a klutz and manages to destroy the rest of the collection.
Luthor kicks Jar Jar out, but the depressed Gungan hangs around, looking to redeem himself. When Luthor captures Superman and puts him in the Kryptonite cage, Jar Jar, misunderstanding what happened, frees him. As a result, Clark has his powers when Luthor jumps off the building, so he saves him from becoming street pizza.
Luthor goes to prison, and his every escape attempt is foiled by Jar Jar's well-meaning "help." As a result, the whole ARGH never happens and Lois and Clark are happily married midway through Season 3.
When the New Kryptonians arrive, Clark asks Jar Jar for help. Jar Jar knocks out the force field around Smallville by driving a Pinto into it. The explosion destroys the force field, the Pinto, and Jar Jar while creating a short-lived but extremely powerful form of Kryptonite that wipes out Nor and his cronies. The Kryptonite then disappears, leaving Smallville safe for Clark.
The remaining New Kryptonians return home, hailing Jar Jar as a hero and forgetting about Kal-El, who is left in peace with Lois. Luthor finally escapes from prison, only to be confronted by Jar Jar's Force ghost (it turns out Jar Jar was strong in the force but never trained by the Jedi, who found him incredibly aggravating). Jar Jar loyally haunts Luthor and ruins all of his schemes, until Luthor once again leaps off a building. He becomes a Force ghost (who'd a thunk it?) and is stuck with Jar Jar until the end of the galaxy or reincarnation, whichever comes first (or last, given Luthor's luck).
Peace reigns.
Clark brings Jar Jar to Metropolis with him. After all, everything's weird in Metropolis, so what's one more strange creature?
Luthor decides to add Jar Jar to his collection, which proves to be a bad idea, because Binks is a klutz and manages to destroy the rest of the collection.
Luthor kicks Jar Jar out, but the depressed Gungan hangs around, looking to redeem himself. When Luthor captures Superman and puts him in the Kryptonite cage, Jar Jar, misunderstanding what happened, frees him. As a result, Clark has his powers when Luthor jumps off the building, so he saves him from becoming street pizza.
Luthor goes to prison, and his every escape attempt is foiled by Jar Jar's well-meaning "help." As a result, the whole ARGH never happens and Lois and Clark are happily married midway through Season 3.
When the New Kryptonians arrive, Clark asks Jar Jar for help. Jar Jar knocks out the force field around Smallville by driving a Pinto into it. The explosion destroys the force field, the Pinto, and Jar Jar while creating a short-lived but extremely powerful form of Kryptonite that wipes out Nor and his cronies. The Kryptonite then disappears, leaving Smallville safe for Clark.
The remaining New Kryptonians return home, hailing Jar Jar as a hero and forgetting about Kal-El, who is left in peace with Lois. Luthor finally escapes from prison, only to be confronted by Jar Jar's Force ghost (it turns out Jar Jar was strong in the force but never trained by the Jedi, who found him incredibly aggravating). Jar Jar loyally haunts Luthor and ruins all of his schemes, until Luthor once again leaps off a building. He becomes a Force ghost (who'd a thunk it?) and is stuck with Jar Jar until the end of the galaxy or reincarnation, whichever comes first (or last, given Luthor's luck).
Peace reigns.
That was absolutely brilliant and hilarious. Thank you. Now how about a story where Luthor is Jar-Jar's slave for a week for some reason?
The Worst Day Ever In Metopolis
Clark heard the strangest of voices from the street outside the Daily Planet. "Meessa eatin' all a da pizza, me missin' little orphan Ani" Clark used his X-Ray vision to look out of the window, and he saw a strange creature sitting at the pizza place across the street. Definitely an alien. He told Lois he had to go buy a My Little Pony for his niece (despite her knowing he was an only child) and rushed off to change into his Ballet clothes with the S on the front and then flew down to meet the alien as Superman.
Two hours later, Superman had a new friend, and as Clark, he had successfully interviewed the alien, whose name was apparently "Jar- Jar Binks", the only survivor of the destruction of a galaxy far, far away. He had, during their interview destroyed six people's businesses, seven cars, and broken two streetlights, all by accident. Then while Superman went to Rome to save people from a nuclear bomb, Jar-Jar met Lois.
After destroying Lois' computer in ANOTHER accident, Jar-Jar told Lois about Clark's Secret Identity, revealed that Jimmy was a cross dresser, and lost his virginity to Cat Grant. Then Lex Luthor's men and Bureau 39 had a war over who was going to kill and dissect Jar-Jar. Lex's men won, and took Jar-Jar (still alive) with them. 3 hours later, Lex Luthor was bankrupt, and Jar-Jar was dead.
Long after this, Superman arrived back in Metropolis. He landed at the Planet, changed back into his Clark clothes, and walked into the newsroom. There he saw Jimmy in a dress singing "Itsy Bitsy Yellow Polka Dot Bikini", Cat crying with Perry comforting her, and Lois was acting strangest of all. She was leaning out of the window yelling "Clarkikins, I love you" over and over.
Clark fixed everything by moving to Gotham and taking the job as Bruce Wayne's personal assistant. At least things wouldn't get weird there....
<wiping tears of laughter from my eyes> These are brilliant! Keep them coming.
Joy,
Lynn
May 25, 1999. An alternate Metropolis to the ones we know and enjoy.....
As Clark was patrolling the city of Metropolis, having just watched the new Star Wars movie again, a portal opened, and out fell Jar-Jar Binks. Clark lost all control, and threw him out into space, repeatedly screaming "YOU RUINED STAR WARS" where he died, his corpse floating next to that of George Lucas, who had suffered the exact same fate at the hands of SuperGeek.....
EDIT: It was funnier in my head. I messed up the writing of this one, sorry.
<crying from laughing so hard.>
That was brilliant and yet also disturbing Annie B. I wouldn't mind reading a serious story of Lex with a time machine actually....
