Clark brings Jar Jar to Metropolis with him. After all, everything's weird in Metropolis, so what's one more strange creature?
Luthor decides to add Jar Jar to his collection, which proves to be a bad idea, because Binks is a klutz and manages to destroy the rest of the collection.
Luthor kicks Jar Jar out, but the depressed Gungan hangs around, looking to redeem himself. When Luthor captures Superman and puts him in the Kryptonite cage, Jar Jar, misunderstanding what happened, frees him. As a result, Clark has his powers when Luthor jumps off the building, so he saves him from becoming street pizza.
Luthor goes to prison, and his every escape attempt is foiled by Jar Jar's well-meaning "help." As a result, the whole ARGH never happens and Lois and Clark are happily married midway through Season 3.
When the New Kryptonians arrive, Clark asks Jar Jar for help. Jar Jar knocks out the force field around Smallville by driving a Pinto into it. The explosion destroys the force field, the Pinto, and Jar Jar while creating a short-lived but extremely powerful form of Kryptonite that wipes out Nor and his cronies. The Kryptonite then disappears, leaving Smallville safe for Clark.
The remaining New Kryptonians return home, hailing Jar Jar as a hero and forgetting about Kal-El, who is left in peace with Lois. Luthor finally escapes from prison, only to be confronted by Jar Jar's Force ghost (it turns out Jar Jar was strong in the force but never trained by the Jedi, who found him incredibly aggravating). Jar Jar loyally haunts Luthor and ruins all of his schemes, until Luthor once again leaps off a building. He becomes a Force ghost (who'd a thunk it?) and is stuck with Jar Jar until the end of the galaxy or reincarnation, whichever comes first (or last, given Luthor's luck).
Peace reigns.
That was absolutely brilliant and hilarious. Thank you. Now how about a story where Luthor is Jar-Jar's slave for a week for some reason?
