Wow! Look at this lovely, lovely feedback! It's like Christmas came early!
Susan - Aw, thanks! I'm very flattered.
I'm also extremely grateful that you're willing to read the story repeatedly (and then yet again once it's posted).
See, this is perfect. He's not going to lie to her - I know what he came here to do. That sigh, his first person admission (even though Lois doesn't recognize what he's doing) - it's enough for me to glimpse his state of mind.
Thanks! That was the germ of an idea that started this whole story, the idea of Clark coming to confess the truth about Superman, but ending up confessing just how frightened he was. I couldn't resist the poignancy of Lois wanting to comfort Superman, not knowing that she already is.
Sarah - I'm not sure, no matter how hurt he was, Clark would be petty enough to completely avoid her. Especially if there was the possibility of not returning. I'm so glad you're reading along!
Lynn - Thank you! I'm exceedingly pleased that the emotions are working for you. I actually did toy with the idea of having Lois call the Kents, but it made the story feel cluttered to me. Also, the conversation between Clark and Lois ended up being awkward and devolved to accusations, so I cut it and went in a different direction.
I plan to post the second half next week, probably right after Christmas.
Kathy -
I'm rather agog that you're reading my story! And I'm ecstatic that you agree with me about the option to push Nightfall off course.
Thank you for the compliment on characterization. That means a great deal to me, especially coming from an author I admire so much. (I have "Winter Wonderland" earmarked to dive into over the break -- can't wait!)
Debbie - Thank you! Having him blow up the asteroid always bugged me (along with a couple of other little details that I'll "fix" in the next half). I started this story as a snippet back in 2009, then forgot about it until last year when I came across an article about a possible asteroid impact on Mars. It estimated 120,000 mph as 55 km/second. If you're interested, this was the article:
Mars Impact Laura - Ha! Yes, consider this an early birthday present.
I'm with you about the occasional pizza and a movie on Clark's couch sounding like a perfect way to spend an evening.
I tell you...those little details, they really do make all the difference! His body rocking back and forth--that detail added a lot. Also, IMO, just putting the 'seriously' into Lois' question--it made what she was saying sound real. You are really great at writing how people actually 'talk' (if that makes sense.)
The details *always* make a difference! I tend to write starting with their dialog, and I'll say it out loud, just to make sure that it sounds right. I guess that's why it sounds real to you.
Once I have that, I'll start shading in the action, then I go over it again and add the details. And then again and again until it feels done.
He needs her SO MUCH right here. And showing his vulnerablility--'Lois, I'm scared'--that was so direct, so right where he is at that moment. I LOVED that!
Me, too!
The glasses left there sitting on the coffee table. Big impact. Clark leaving without glasses. That implies a LOT of upcoming 'scary' stuff--him not thinking he'll ever need them again.
That, along with the fact that he told her the truth in the first place, just has to weigh on her. He honestly believes he isn't coming back.
Thank you so much, ladies! I very much appreciate your comments.
