I hope you enjoyed this hair-twisting story.
![[Linked Image]](http://zsoltfabok.com/images/posts/2011-12-11-bdd-demonstration/coding-horror.jpeg)
Clark had been able to get Mayson to leave their ‘date’ at Café Americana before it had even begun with a few innocent questions about her former boss Bill Church, CEO of CostMart.
Oh, that’s funny. Clark deliberately tried to tick Mayson off so he wouldn’t have to dump her.
CLARK: At least I didn’t jump dimensions to get away from her.
Lois had realized that Clark’s judgment wasn’t swayed by a pair of brown eyes that weren’t her own.
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c080.gif)
So, simply telling her that he’s not interested in tacky blondes wouldn’t have been an option?
Nothing could stop them now!
![[Linked Image]](http://superman.wikia.com/wiki/File:215-returnprankster.jpg)
Uncle Mike had been hired to cater it.
Metropolis is quite the small world, isn’t it?
Clark was hoping to catch Lois’s eye with his tuxedo, even though she had seen him in one before.
Maybe if he tried a fireman uniform which he’d then start to remove to rhythmic music?
LOIS:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a015.gif)
Maybe try a blue suit and a cape instead?
Perry had said that Alice got amorous when he put on his monkey suit.
So, he wants to suggest that they take out the bongo drums like he did with Cat?
“It’s me, Lois,” he replied, his brow furrowing.
“Clark?” she positively squealed.
/scratches head/
“No, it’s Prince Charming here to escort you to the ball,” he said wryly.
“What are you doing here?”
He just said… And considering, maybe the bleach has gotten her brains.
“No!” she exclaimed. “I’m…I’m not ready. Yes, not ready. You better go on without me, Clark.”
Cold feet? Also…so he can meet and dance with Mayson?
CLARK: Oh you! Mayson wouldn’t let me dance with her considering how I implied she was a dirty girl.
MAYSON: But I am a dirty girl. And I need to be punished. You should take me out into the woods and lock me up in that nice cabin I have out there.
“I’ll be a while,” she replied. “I… I… uh… tore my dress.”
/scratches head/
“Don’t you have another dress?” he asked.
Not one that shows as much skin as this one did. Even before she tore it.
“Clark, I bought this one especially for the ball,” Lois returned.
So? “I’m sure you will be lovely in whatever you wear.”
Did he say the same thing to Lana after she tried on her prom dress and then managed to stumble into the path of a fertilizer truck spraying the fields?
“Oh, Clark!” she practically sobbed through the door. “You don’t understand. You’ll never understand.”
/Fails Lois in Communications-101/
He had to admit that when it came to women and the panic they put themselves in over their clothing, he was a novice of understanding.
Wasn’t he the one who tried on, what, twenty suits before meeting Lois for the shuttle launch? And doesn’t he always get his briefs in a twist when a sudden gust of rains ruins his hair by painting it to his head?
His mother never seemed to worry about such things and he had no sisters to torment him with such experiences as a teenager.
Maybe if he told her that he doesn’t mind how she looked?
“Please, Lois. Let me help,” he said. She was in crisis. He could hear it in her voice. Every fiber of his being wanted to be the one who rescued her.
ANOTHER LOIS: At least he only tries to rescue me when I’m working on some building’s façade.
“No!” she gasped, and then said, almost shrilly, “You can’t come in here.”
Something was wrong. Was someone holding her captive?
That’s why they need a safe word. Like…octopus.
LOIS: No, I don’t want to eat sushi tonight. The octopus from last time really didn’t sit well with me.
Clark wanted nothing more than to glance through the door to reassure himself of her safety, but he didn’t.
But…but…what’s the worst that could happen? The dress might be hanging around her waist and she isn’t wearing a lot underneath. Still better than reading about the police finding her dead body the next day in the Metropolis Star.
. What if she wasn’t lying and was standing on the other side in her underwear.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/g060.gif)
That would be a huge violation of her trust, so he refrained from lowering his glasses.
But if a Lois Lane prances around naked with a Superman in town, wouldn’t that be just begging for trouble?
“I’m pretty good with a thread and needle,” he said, twisting two fingers behind his back as he skirted very close to the edge between truth and lie.
So…he knows someone who’s pretty good and could take the garment there in minutes, flat?
“I know I do,” he heard her whisper to herself so softly that any other man wouldn’t have heard her.
“But I would rather dance with you.”
*
Oh, God! Why now?
Poor doe.
, wiping it on the sleeve of her schlumpy robe.
So, the dress turned back into a robe after she ripped it?
“I’m not dressed,” she confessed.
“I don’t mind,” he said.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d075.gif)
Lois smiled, as a feeling of everything would be all right washed over her.
Nothing helps her ego like a suggestive remark?
Then, she froze, realizing that she couldn’t let Clark see her like this.
Dressed in a schlumpy robe? What if she stripped out of it?
She unlocked the bolt. “And you must stay in the living room.”
She’s quite scared. What’s up with her?
“Come on, Lois. It’s me, not some peeping Tom.”
Well…he *is* an investigative reporter. It would be investigating.
“You’re a reporter, Clark…”
“And a reporter is known for his unquenchable curiosity.”
See? Of course, that might just be her projecting…
“I have a peephole, Clark,” she reminded him, using it once more to glance out at him.
“Still not ready!” she called. Lois already knew what she had available hanging from her rack, so she started pulling down boxes from her shelves to search through them.
So, she’s not going to fix her dress, then?
The last thing she wanted was for him to peek into her bedroom as she sat on the floor in her schlumpy robe and dug through boxes.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/e010.gif)
If they couldn’t dance at the ball, perhaps Clark would concede to do so here.
Huh?
Superman!
Lois placed a hand to her cheek as she bit down on her bottom lip with indecision. What was she doing?
Giving up her rescue opportunity for a boyfriend?
Her heart started to flutter in that way that only Clark could make it do. Superman made her heart pound, but with Clark, her heart felt as if it could take flight.
She has the hots for Superman, but the thought of a relationship with Clark makes her want to take for the hills?
“In other words, hold my hand,” the singer continued. “In other words, darling, kiss me.”
Yeah. That.
Lois knew how she felt. Unsure. Unconfident. Scared. An idiot. Oh so wrong.
LOIS: What! I do hate it, okay?
he would never use any of those words to describe her. Especially the last one, if he knew what was good for him.
Just with a quick count on his fingers, he could recall over ten occasions he had seen her dressed to the nines, and that was when she hadn’t been undercover.
The night when she and Lex tried to go to the opera. The morning when she and Lex tried to get married.
He liked that Lois wasn’t one of those women who fretted constantly about her wardrobe, and usually seemed to take no time whatsoever to get ready and yet always looked amazing.
LOIS: Does he have *any* idea how long it takes each morning to achieve that look?
If they didn’t get out of there soon, Perry would send a posse after them.
JIMMY: You guys? Lois, are you in there? I can hear you breathing. Are you exercising? Was that Clark I just heard?
“What is the name of that girl in the photo on your bookshelf at home?”
His brow furrowed. What girl? What photo? What bookshelf? “I don’t…” he sputtered, sitting down on her settee.
“You kissed more than one girl behind the Frosty Freeze?”
He was the quarterback, so…
Lois laughed. “You mean it’s a real business? I thought I made it up.”
Clark was pleasantly surprised at how relaxed she sounded when admitting to being wrong or making a mistake.
That’s because she didn’t actually admit to it.
LOIS: What is Clark implying there?
“Sorry. You’re right. You treat everyone you meet with respect.
I don’t think he was very respectful of Lex. And he dumped his partner into a garbage bin.
. “So, I wondered if the old saying still held true. Do gentlemen prefer blondes?”
Awww…she’s confronting him.
Lois stood before him in a silver evening gown, looking ravenously beautiful as always, only now with platinum blonde curls.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d045.gif)
“So?”
So, what? Clark had no idea what to say.
So, gentlemen preferred blondes, but Clark preferred someone else to her.
Maybe Clark preferred natural blondes?
Lois pushed out of his arms and marched through her bedroom door, slamming it in his face. She couldn’t believe he had gone there. There of all places!
CLARK:
This was a test to see if he would like her now that she had blonde hair and she had failed beyond her wildest nightmares.
Oops?
“I… She kissed me. Anyway, you told me to,” Clark said. “I didn’t want to kiss her.”
Clark groaned and his shoulders slumped. “But you said to stop ‘repeating myself’ and to ‘try something new’,” he explained. “So Mayson was that ‘something new’.”
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/b075.gif)
She could also be the ‘something new’ at their wedding. Let’s add a bride’s maid dressed in blue, Cat’s older than Lois and Clark by quite a bit, so we have the something old, and maybe he could borrow one of Jimmy’s girlfriends?
He looked even more lost. “So, stop trying to get you to love me and find someone new, but not Mayson?”
“Stop chasing after blondes and try a brunette for once. I’m not a blonde!”
“Oh, thank God!” Clark exclaimed, embracing her. “It’s a wig, then?”
A burst of sunshine appeared disguised as Clark’s smile.
Awwwww
I… I bleached my hair blonde first.” She slowly brought the wig down to her lap.
And now Tank’s going to be very happy and Lois will be bald?
Resurrected LEX:
. “When I said polka dotted earlier, I never knew that it was actually possible.”
“I do! I do!” he said, raising his hands in self-defense. “But I don’t have to love that hair.”
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/froehlich/a065.gif)
“We can fix this,” Clark insisted, taking her hands in his. “Together, we can accomplish anything.”
Lois smiled with relief, acknowledging silently that Clark had finally gotten something right.
What an adorable ending to a funny story
And great fun to BR, too!
Michael
