peep
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While her mother was safely sedated at the hospital,
Translation: Ellen drank herself into a coma and is now in the hospital, detoxing.

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Lois returned home to change her clothes.
She doesn’t want to be caught on camera wearing her fiancé?
CAT: It’s not as glamorous as Something About Mary makes it sound.

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At the hospital, they had given her and her mother detox showers, similar to the ones given to people exposed to a biohazard or radiation.
CLARK: I’ve always said that Luthor was toxic slime.

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The doctor suggested that she refrain from sharing her bodily fluids with anyone until they gave her a clean bill of health.
razz I wander what it was like on the battlefield of ye olden days. Or how they do it with the poor chaps who have vampires explode all over them. I guess Buffy got lucky that her vampires dustified instead of splattered, huh?

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Lois doubted she would feel clean for a long time to come.
Hey, could have been worse.

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The crème of the scummy side of her profession had already started hounding Lois at the hospital.
Trying to get a photo of her in wrapping tissue?

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attacked by Luthor supporters before he got her full statement and interview.
So, after the statement, she’s fair game to every hooker in town who’s sad about big spender daddy biting the dust?

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She found the door to her apartment open. A couple of burly men were riffling through her belongings and loading them into boxes.
Sounds like she’s surprised some burglars. Or is it the movers Lex had hired to move her appropriate but still generic items into her new home while disposing of the less appropriate or sentimental pieces?

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One of the men approached her, and held out a business card. It read: Mega Movers.
jawdrop See! Also, how did Lex get her keys?

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“We’re professionals, ma’am. We’ve been hired by Lex Luthor to box up Mrs. Luthor’s belongings and put them in storage.”
Sounds like they don’t listen the news, huh?

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Put her stuff in storage, as if she wouldn’t have any need for her belongings after they had gotten married.
Well, love pets usually don’t need outside clothing.

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Did that include her fish?
Starts at about minute 2:00.

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The leader whistled and four other men exited her kitchen, bedroom, spare bedroom, and bathroom. “It’s time to break for lunch,” the man informed his team.
That sounds like they normally do moving for the Church Group.

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! “How in the hell did you get access to my apartment, anyway?” she demanded.
See?

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“Mrs. Cox provided us with keys, ma’am, when we were hired,” the man replied.
LOIS: splat

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The man paused. “How do I know that you’re the real Mrs. Luthor?”
Because of [Linked Image] and [Linked Image].

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“I’m not Mrs. Luthor!” she screamed. “I never was Mrs. Luthor. I’ll never be Mrs. Luthor. This in my apartment and I want you out of here!”
She seems agitated…

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Detective Woolfe chose that moment to arrive. “Everything okay, Ms. Lane?” he asked, his hand on his gun as he entered. “Who are you men?”
Couldn’t she have them arrested for breaking and entering? After all, just because they had been hired by somebody doesn’t mean they’re not breaking and entering.

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“And we’ve got a contract and permission to be here from Mr. Lex Luthor.”
Yes, but that permission wouldn’t be valid until after the marriage when ownership of the bride and her belongings was officially transferred to the husband. That’s in the Metropolis civil code isn’t it?
LOIS: [Linked Image] [Linked Image]
So, that’s a ‘no’? Well, looky there, maybe Lois could have them arrested even after her wedding. Might not have been pleasing to her new husband, but what could he possibly do?
LEX: [Linked Image]

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“It is?” the mover said, holding up his hands. “I didn’t know that. Really and truly, officer… Detective, I’m just a mover. We were hired to do a job and we were doing it. We’re not criminals.”
And what about the shovels and the dead guy in the front half of the cargo area of their truck?

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When Woolfe had finally verified that none of his precious evidence had yet been touched
On the plus side, all the evidence is already nicely packed up and ready to ship to evidence lockup, huh?

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Lois went to the telephone and called Mr. Tracewski to request that he change her locks.
Mr. T: All five of them? *Again*?

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Cat pried one eye open. That better not be what she thought it was.

Knock! Knock! Knock!
CAT: Who’s there?
VOICE: Lois!
CAT: Lois Who?
VOICE: Lois Lane!
CAT: Lois Looser?
VOICE: No, not Luthor!

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Sure enough, someone was knocking on her apartment door. Whoever it was was about to meet an early demise.
So, she learned from Lois?

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Bang! Bang! Bang!
Sounds like Lois.

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She pushed back her sheets, stepped into her slippers, grabbed the bat next to her bed, and stumbled her way into the living room,
Where’s the man of the house?

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Clark sported a sloppy grin and wavered, took hold of her doorframe, and then leaned into it as if it were moving. “Hi, Cat.”

God help me. “You’re drunk.”
shock What the!

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“I think your floor is moving.”
Great, earthquake and Superman’s falling-down drunk.

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Cat took a step back and allowed him to stumble inside. She pointed to her sofa. “Sit.”
She could send him over to Lois’s. Maybe then they’d finally hook up.
LOIS: With my luck he won’t be remembering that one either.

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He smiled. “You’re pretty. Did you know that?”

He had to be kidding her, right?
Well…he’s definitely full of liquid courage.
CAT: He’s full of something, all right.

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“So, you said.”
[Linked Image] Comma.

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“I’ve been thinking, and thinking, and thinking, and think…”
And then drinking and drinking and drinking…

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He patted his arm. “No bullet wound,” he announced, and then grinned a sloppy version of that smile he only gave Lois. “See! Luthor lied.”
He’s not the quickest one, is he?

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Big surprise.
Well…he did move his lips.

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Why aren’t you at Lois’s apartment, knocking on her door?” Being her problem?
clap He’s like Sheldon, going to Penny’s instead of annoying Leonard.

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Before she had left his apartment, she had given the younger kid staying at Clark’s… Denny?... a cover story to tell Jimbo and Perry.
Clark’s a drunk. Let him sleep it off.

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Lois, still in her white dress, had gone with her.
Well…polka-dotted dress.

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He nodded enthusiastically.

Sarcasm was lost on the inebriated.
LOIS: Sarcasm is lost on Clark. Period.

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Cat couldn’t believe she and Lois actually had something else in common.
So, Cat doesn’t like dealing with the mess a drunk makes when the fluids return to the outside world via various bodily cavities, huh?

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Then, again, after that video, it was unlikely.
Too much competition for least-discriminate sex on TV?

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“I might do something I might regret,” Clark said.
Like sleeping with her and then blaming a curse for her dead body the next morning?

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But Cat couldn’t see how it couldn’t be Lois on the video. The woman looked just like her former colleague.
He already said that there’s not bullet wound. She not awake at two in the morning or what? That’s got to be high-noon in Cat time.

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“I don’t know how I got drunk…” Clark continued.
I’ve got a theory.
JIMMIES: Beer bongs!

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“Perhaps it was all the alcohol you consumed,” Cat suggested.
See?

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“But it’s never affected me before,” he explained. “Although, there was that time with Rachel…” He shook his head.
He’s not the smartest one huh?
LOIS: You just figuring that one out now?
Also… Ooooh! Rachel!

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“And where did you kiss Rachel?”
I don’t think that’s appropriate talk for this side of the boards. Let’s just say…French style?

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Clark tapped Cat’s lips. “Here.” His finger glided down her neck. “And here.” And his finger moved further down her chest. “And here was nice, too.”
shock Lois won’t be happy that he’s getting hansy with a married woman who’s carrying his love child.

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He nodded, getting a naughty glint in his eye. “I wish I could kiss Lois there.”
hyper He should tell Lois like he told Cat!

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“Yes. Yes, she did, but not because I kissed her,” he said adamantly.

Oh, right, because Krypton went boom.
She’s not the smartest cookie, is she? Considering the probability of an Earthen name ending up on Krypton.
CAT: What, he could spell it Rayj-El. She could be have been his first cousin or something.

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“So, I take it you don’t have your powers back?”
The gravitational challenge and the inebriation not giving it away?

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“No, I mean it. He’s going to be a billionaire. He’s a computer genius.”
[Linked Image]

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“Lucky him. I’ve had my share of billionaires for one day, Clark.
Actually, she left before they doled out shares of billionaire. Lois and Ellen got bit shares, though.

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“That button is in my room. I’ll flip the switch when I go to bed,” she said, heading towards her bedroom.
Shouldn’t she be placing a bucket next to the couch?

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“You said that Lois didn’t have a scar from her bullet wound,” she said.
Looky there!

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“Clark? Did Lex have a scar on his shoulder?” she asked.
Oooooh! And why does she think Clark tried to oogle a naked Lex? Also, good thing they both got shot on opposite sides of their bodies, huh? That way, during her lapdance, well… both sides…

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“No, Cat,” he sniffled. “He didn’t.” He closed his eyes tightly. “That means she did cheat on me… before she got shot.”
Huh. Wait. What? Huh? He…What? How…What? Dolt!

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“She said that she had never brought him back to her bedroom. Never,” he gulped. “She lied to me. Again!”
She could have boinked him in the living room during the first time and only taken him to her boudoir after she had told Clark that she hadn’t yet taken Lex to see her bedroom.

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“I was so hoping that Luthor was using that copycat apartment he made for Lois down in his bunker, but maybe that was a lie, too.”
Hey, Lois could have done Lex in the bunker down there. Then she wouldn’t have taken Lex into her bedroom because that would only have been a copy of said room.

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“If that video was a year old, Clark, it doesn’t have a bearing on how Lois feels about you, now.”
LEX: Once you go Lex, you never go back.

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No more leaving things to chance to this pregnancy brain of hers.
laugh Also, there might be a ‘to’ too many in there and an ‘or’ missing.

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“You did what?” a male voice gasped, bringing Clark closer to the edge.
Oh look Cat is on the phone with her husband and Clark’s eavesdropping.

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He wondered if Luthor had caught him again and put his head in a vice.
So not up to flying colors yet?

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and found that the bright light before him felt as if someone were stabbing an ice pick through his eyeballs and straight into his brain.
LEX: sad I didn’t get to try that one with him.

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He felt so terrible, combine it with a white light and he didn’t want to take his chances.
rotflol That’s why most teenagers study the effects of alcohol long before they have to first consider their own mortality.

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If he died in this dimension, would he see the souls of his folks from his dimension?
UNIVERSE: There’s a book-keeping error here. Dammit, what happened? If I can’t figure that one out till the IRS audit, they’ll probably want to go over all the deaths of the past millennium razz

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Did souls get to mix and mingle with souls from other dimensions in heaven,
So, considering that Lois’s probably have a higher mortality rate than Clarks, does that mean the Clark’s get multiple Loises in the afterlife? [Linked Image]

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Was he at the beach? Was Lois there, waiting in their cabana for Clark to come and pull the one little string on her bikini, which would make the whole suit drop to the ground?
He’s a naughty boy, isn’t he?

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Here he was on his honeymoon with the most gloriously wonderful woman around, and he felt as if the doorman had beaten him to death.
So, delusional, then? What will he say when he still thinks that and then sees Cat?

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No matter how much effort he used, he was unable to save Lois from this fate as she fought Lex, screaming first for Superman to save her, then Clark, and finally Octopus.
So, don’t drink? Also, she *liked* it. Why should she be screaming? He isn’t making much sense, is he?
LEX: She thinks it’s like I have 8 appendages. hyper

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When Lex finally pushed himself off Lois, disappearing into grey fog, a glassy-eyed Lois stared unseeingly towards the ceiling. She was covered head to toe in blood.

Clark gasped and sat up, his heart racing a mile a second.
So, he’s going to now bring forth all the nasty stuff he’s bottled up in his system?

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Clark reached into black inkiness of that void in his head. “I… uh… came to talk to Cat?”

“At 2:30 in the morning.”
He’s her special friend? A gentleman calling?

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