(((Nora)))
I lost my brother to cancer last year. He was 41. It's hard when you lose someone you love. Be honest with everyone--your mom, dad, any other relatives and friends--and let them be honest with you. One thing my family did early on was to just admit that we had no idea how to even approach the entire end-of-life season, and agree to give ourselves and each other tons of grace.
As far as resources, look into hospice care. They can help a lot, even if your mom stays at home. My brother stayed at my parents' house until the very end, and the hospice nurses visited him there. One of them even came to their house on Christmas Day to check up on him when he wasn't feeling well. Of course no one wants to go through this at all, but since we had no choice, it was a blessing to have experienced people at hospice to lean on.
It's hard to watch your mom suffer. Know that just having you near will help her. When you don't know what she needs, ask her. Sometimes my brother wanted to talk about his illness, and sometimes he wanted to be distracted from it. Sometimes he wanted company, and sometimes he needed to be alone. Sometimes he wanted help, and sometimes he wanted the dignity of doing what little he still could for himself. Sometimes he wanted stronger meds for the pain, and sometimes he wanted a clearer head. You'll all figure it out as you go along.
Cancer sucks, no doubt. Come vent here anytime, and know that
there are other folks here who have been where you are and come out the other side. You will get through this, and, though you will always miss your mom, you will learn to be happy again.
Michelle
