Thank you, Lynn and mozartmaid. I appreciate your support. And to you both, and to Deadly Chakram, I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost loved ones to cancer. Thank you for sharing your stories, painful as they are. I'm glad that you have that memory of your shopping trip with your aunt, mozartmaid. I'm sure that meant the world to her, too.
It is nice that we can say some things, but it is so sad because I know that this is the exact opposite of what she wants in terms of an end. My grandfather had a slight cancer scare a couple of years ago when he had an abnormal kidney function test and they thought it might be cancer (it wasn't). My mom and I were talking and were both adamant that we both wished for the "drop dead" end rather than anything involving extended suffering. But I know (and know that you all know) that life is anything but fair.
She told me last night that she doesn't want to do anything that would extend her life by a few months if it is going to compromise the time she has left, which I absolutely respect. But in reading online, it seems that the cruel twist with this particular cancer is that the treatments that make you so sick might actually be better than suffering with the disease, which is apparently brutal on quality of life fairly quickly. And there are so many other things to consider. My father has an extremely demanding job, as do I (which until recently included significant international travel). (I edit videos for here about once a month as sort of a creative release to keep me "sane" but otherwise, free time is at a minimum.) And so my mother (who is a stay-at-home mom) handled almost everything regarding regarding both their finances and mine (as I'm not married). She also handled everything regarding her house and mine in terms of coordinating maintenance. I feel like I need to step in right away and take over these items at least on my end and probably for them, as well (my dad is a brilliant man who would be absolutely lost having to pay the monthly bills). But I don't even know exactly how to say that to her. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent here. I think you're right, mozartmaid, that sometimes it is easier to say things on a message board than to say them anywhere else. I do really appreciate the support.
