I enjoyed this little vignette, Pam. I may not have quite as suspicious a mind as Nan, but I knew who "Lyn" was from this point: "He just studies me for a long moment, and I try not to squirm. I'm not lying, even if I do have an ulterior motive, too."
So when I read your response:
I know I didn't touch much on it in the story, but I figure Clark didn't recognize her because of the hair (light-brown with bangs), glasses, and unremarkable clothing. Bangs & glasses can cover a lot of a person's face. And he wasn't really looking at her that much, he was busy thinking and remembering. But the most important element, of course, is that he wasn't at all expecting to see her. I just couldn't quite figure out a way to get all that information in there -- "Lyn" knows all this so she wouldn't be thinking about it, and I don't want to tip off the readers too early. I'm working on adding it in toward the end, somehow.
I was a little puzzled. What are you trying to add in at the end? Clark saying something about not expecting to see her and therefore not recognizing her? If that's your intent, I think it would come best from Clark than from Lois.
As to your comment that Lyn knows all this so she wouldn't be thinking about it, I don't agree. Actually, I think Lois would be thinking a lot about whether Clark could see through her disguise or not and worrying about whether he could hear her heartbeat or smell her or something that would blow her cover. Unfortunately, all those thoughts would equally tip off the readers, so you can't include them, however logical they might be.
I enjoyed the piece on its own, particularly the ending when L&C continued to speak in a sort of code to each other. It just made me glad that Alt-Clark had been found by his Lois so he didn't have to be alone and unhappy any more.
