Hope you like it, FOLCs! I've been trying to write this story all week, but it wasn't working. Then this morning I trashed it all and started fresh, and now I think I've got it.

PJ

I loved it, Pam! Very sweet, very WAFFy, and just lovely.

Great to see another story from you, even if it's just a short one.

Irene

That was cute !! :p

Got any more?

Terry

Nice story, Pam. I started suspecting she might have another identity right around the time she said she had a theory, but the way you had her "admit" who she really is was good.

Still don't know why she doesn't think he's an obsessed lunatic, though.

hi Pam!!

I love this story.

Sweet , great.

I love it

Is that all? Do you have more?

Karla

Really cute, Pam! I liked it.

Artemis

Nice, Pam! Like others, I saw it coming, but it was still great to see. Good explanation, WAFFy ending, everything wrapped up neatly. What's not to like?

I love her suggestion that he could go incogneto. Gee, a secret identity. Why didn't he ever think of that?

Fun story, Pam. Thanks for sharing.

Paul

Just read this again, Pam, and liked it as much as I did the first time. If you remember, I told you early on that either this Lyn was a Mary Sue or she was Lois in disguise - glad to see I was right the second time.

Lovely dialogue, and even nicer observations and reactions from 'Lyn'. Very cleverly done - the first person, present tense is perfect for this one. You kept it light, WAFFy and even humorous, but there's deeper emotion just simmering beneath the surface for both of them - that comes across very clearly.

Great vignette!


Wendy

Wow I really liked this Pam. It was a very different idea and one that worked very well. You had me going up until the end. So what kind of disguise was this Lois wearing and how come he couldn't see through it? Also I like the twist of Clark not recognising her for a change. Interesting. Laura

Superbly written. The first-person stance intensifies Lo... err Lyn's emotions in my imagination.

I say, Lois got what it takes to make a comeback from the Congolese jungles, all on her own, without any super help. Lovely premise.

Great!

~Liz

Awwww, Sweet Story Pam! I loved the fact that "lyn" came to him. It was a great story. Hope to hear more from you. And I still demand a sequel!!

Rach

Being that I have a very suspicious mind, I wasn't surprised about Lyn, but it was a neat twist to the theme of Alt Clark. I think a sequel would be a very good idea.

Nan

OOOH!!!!! This *is* Lois!!!!!! Yay!!! Now that I know it's Lois!!!

AWWWWWW!!!!

Awwww! Poor Clark! (There isn't a limit on the graemlin per post... you know besides the total graemlin limit... right? )

Awwwwww!!!! Great job, Pam!!!!

D'oh! Why didn't I think to ask for a sequel too?! Well... Pam... what happens on that date?

I just loved it, Pam, incredibly WAFFY and well written.
Thanks for this,
Sil

Hey! What just happened?

Sweet, Pam!

Like Wendy, I think the first person/present tense worked prefectly for this story (which surprised me, seeing as I usually don't like either one, especially when they're combined <g>). And I absolutely *love* how Lois decided to 'feel him out' before revealing herself. And the fact that she had a crush on him from afar certainly helped the start of their relationship. No trying to wear down the barriers of 'who do you think you are, trying to control...everything?'

Great job!

Bethy (who wouldn't mind a sequel, but also thinks this stands perfectly well on its own)

Very nice, Pam. I guessed a few paragraphs before Clark did - which of course made me feel very clever and upped the enjoyment level even more . Very sweet, and a lovely happy ending for altClark.

But...how dare you be nice to my number one torture victim? Don't you know the rule - that altClark is destined to be eternally unhappy? <g>

Yvonne

LIke Yvonne, I guessed it a couple of paragraphs before and so feel good about my deductive powers.

This was really nice and sweet.

James

SQUEE!!!!!! Aw, Waffyness!

I have to admit, I was guessing althroughout, and by the time she revealed herself, I'd been almost convinced it *wasn't* her

But hey, gimme a break, I haven't had breakfast yet!


I love a good Alt Romance!

--Mary, who will now go eat breakfast

That was so sweet!! Funny and sincere and heartfelt. It's nice to see how things might unfold for Alt-Clark once we leave him; he's looking for Lois and the world knows about his real identity, he does not have the support of his parents-- his life is so different from our Clark's.

I love "Lyn"'s recommendations for him to start basically doing what celebrities do-- baseball cap, old jeans, slouching, sunglasses. She is sort of creating a disguise for him, when in this world, he doesn't have one already. Such a nice flip on things!

This is perfect, Pam!
AWWW, I love Alt-Clark stories, they allow to do almost everything with your characters!
This vignette stands wonderfully on its own, but I can't help hoping for a long sequel

Simona
(who can't help hoping for the "K for" story as well; is your muse thinking about it?)

Very cute and clever.

Pam

An excellent story! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Tricia

Wow, what a glowing set of responses! I think the comments thread is now longer than the story...

Seriously, I'm glad you guys liked this. I love alt-Clark stories, but they all seem to have Clark having to figure out how to explain everything to alt-Lois, and in the generally short stories she hasn't got much time to react to that. So I wanted to see what would happen if she knew a lot of it going in.

Roger, she doesn't think he's an obsessed lunatic because he's got a sense of humor about the whole thing <g> SJH, try reading it again; alt-Lois wants to get an upclose look at alt-Clark before she tells him who she is, so she can get some idea of what he's like. Yvonne, I apologize for being nice to your preferred target -- I know you're addicted to damaging him

I know I didn't touch much on it in the story, but I figure Clark didn't recognize her because of the hair (light-brown with bangs), glasses, and unremarkable clothing. Bangs & glasses can cover a lot of a person's face. And he wasn't really looking at her that much, he was busy thinking and remembering. But the most important element, of course, is that he wasn't at all expecting to see her. I just couldn't quite figure out a way to get all that information in there -- "Lyn" knows all this so she wouldn't be thinking about it, and I don't want to tip off the readers too early. I'm working on adding it in toward the end, somehow.

I have no plans for a sequel. Though if I were to write it, I know what my opening line would be so who knows, the rest of the story might show up in my consciousness sometime soon.

Thanks very much, Irene, Terry, Roger, Karla, Artemis, Paul, Wendy, Laura, AnKS, Liz, Rach, Nan, Sara, Sil, Bethy, Yvonne, James, Mary, Nicole, Simona, Rivka & Tricia!

PJ

I enjoyed this little vignette, Pam. I may not have quite as suspicious a mind as Nan, but I knew who "Lyn" was from this point: "He just studies me for a long moment, and I try not to squirm. I'm not lying, even if I do have an ulterior motive, too."

So when I read your response: I was a little puzzled. What are you trying to add in at the end? Clark saying something about not expecting to see her and therefore not recognizing her? If that's your intent, I think it would come best from Clark than from Lois.

As to your comment that Lyn knows all this so she wouldn't be thinking about it, I don't agree. Actually, I think Lois would be thinking a lot about whether Clark could see through her disguise or not and worrying about whether he could hear her heartbeat or smell her or something that would blow her cover. Unfortunately, all those thoughts would equally tip off the readers, so you can't include them, however logical they might be.

I enjoyed the piece on its own, particularly the ending when L&C continued to speak in a sort of code to each other. It just made me glad that Alt-Clark had been found by his Lois so he didn't have to be alone and unhappy any more.

Pam, I wouldn't add anything at all in - this is just perfect as it is. I have no trouble working out why Lois came in disguise, or why Clark didn't recognise her, or how Clark figures it out, or where they go from there. I think any explanations added in would take away from the sweetness of the story just as it is - and also run close to patronising your readers, who are well capable of working it out for themselves.

Just my (Can) 0.02c worth!

Wendy

Thanks, Sheila & Wendy for the thoughts... here's what I had in mind, just as a tiny addition:

The stuff in bold is new -- what do you think? Too blatant? It seemed to slip in there fairly painlessly, and I tried to be minimal about it.

And thanks, Jose!

PJ

Too blatant. If someone like me can get it with what you already have written, you might even try to make it more vague.

And so goes the old saying, "You can please some of the people some of the time and some of the people none of the time, but you can't please everyone all the time." ( or something like that)

James

Pam, if you feel it necessary to remind people that Lois is in disguise with the different hair color, it works fine. It's about what I'd pictured, except I saw Clark pointing it out: "And adding glasses and coloring her hair as a disguise." And then Lois would mention that the changes would have been made to escape the notice of whomever was chasing her (the same reason she stayed in Europe under an assumed name).

But that's the same information you put in, so I think your version works fine, and since it's in the explanation part of the vignette, it isn't too blatant.

Re-emphasizing the glasses alone might work as the sole disguise. Heck, if it worked for Clark in the other universe, why wouldn't it work for Lois? It would be fitting that her disguise would match Clark's. Maybe a comment that Clark thinks she looks different than he thought she would look wearing glasses. alt-Clark would appreciate the irony of the glasses since he had to use them when he was helping Lois out in our universe. Even more fun, Clark would call himself a dope. (See my sig)

I have to admit, I glossed over the glasses part and had to go back and look. /me embarrassed

Awwww.....that was adorable. Really adorable. I want a sequel...showing their date and MORE!!!

I think it's perfect as is, but the additional mention of the "disguise" works well, too. I don't think you need to jump through hoops to keep Lyn's identity a secret from the reader -- I think most people, like myself, started to suspect partway through the story, and that's fine! It only makes it sweeter to read and to picture.

And I personally love the idea that Clark doesn't realize it's Lois because of the glasses ... it's the perfect turn-around on the legend. And as you say, Pam, he's not really looking at her ... he's thinking about his Lois and his efforts to find her, and he just takes what Lyn says at face value -- she's a mild-mannered reporter, looking for a story. What can be better than that?

Wonderful story, Pam. I loved it. Cute, sweet, clever and just plain fun. I completely enjoyed it.

Kathy

It was wonderful, Pam!! I loved it!!

If I may give my opinion on Lois's 'disguise', I think I'd go with Roger's idea. Just have her 'adjust her glasses'

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

You know, I'm *so* out of practise with this giving-FDK-thing, that I'd almost resigned myself to the back of the shelf, almost forgotten the many many ways you can say how much you loved something... and then I opened this... and read... and read... and loved it so much that I just HAD to post. Soooooooo, Pam, first of all - thanks for that. Even if I end up looking like an idiot... heck, it feels good <g>

Well, you got me. I really did think this was a Mary Sue - the idea that it could be Lois herself didn't even cross my mind. In fact, I *barely* cottoned onto it - grabbed the notion by the skin of my teeth, if you will So kudos on that one.

I loved - loved the way you portrayed Lois and Clark, and their emotions to each other, so subtly I adore first person stories, so that was a huge

And okay, I'm swiftly running out of time :p but Going in my "Favourite Fics" folder

Sara.

So very smart and so completely original, I took just a moment to hate your guts for it, Pam! But I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Good for you.

Loved it, every word. And if we're voting, I'd say 'yes' to the glasses reference as disguise since I like the parallel. But, also, I don't think any more than that is necessary by any means.

Well. Do you have more stuff like this sitting around? Please?

CC

That was brilliant, Pam! I have to confess, I was among the people who thought it was a Mary Sue. I didn't catch on until the end. In fact, I thought Lois was a time traveller (don't ask me why! I dunno... her being self conscious and feeling out of place, and treating Clark differently from everyone else...) Anyways, I vote for the adjusting her glasses thing, just as a reminder to the reader that she's wearing them, cos by the time I'd got to that point in the story, I'd forgotten the description of Lyn given at the beginning.

I also loved the very first paragraph, where, by having Lyn mention casually that it's known that CK=S, you establish that we are in the Alt universe with amazing economy of words In fact, the very first clue is right there in the fourth sentence: "Luckily for me, I know how to sneak inside."

Great job!

JM

Wow, two pages.

Okay... thanks James, Sheila, Roger, Chris, Kathy, Anna, Sara, CC, and Jude

Well, I think I've decided to go with Roger's suggestion, basically, and just have a reference to her playing with her glasses. The turn-around on the Superman mythos is just too good to skip.

Kathy, yeah, I figured people would probably start to wonder about Lyn's identity, but that's part of the fun, IMO. Like Yvonne said, it lets people feel clever <g>

Thanks for offering an opinion, Anna -- I enjoy this sort of back-and-forth with readers

lol, Sara -- glad to be of service. I confess, I'm not usually a fan of first-person or present-tense stories, but that's what seemed to fit. It's been fun; I can do different things with it. And obviously it leaves the reader guessing as to who the narrator is, which was the desired effect

CC hates me! I have arrived! Well, this just makes us even, CC; when I read your "guess the author" story with the cat, I just about gave up on fanfic writing then and there.

As for more stuff like that lying around... actually... I think I've got something else to post today.

Thanks, JM, for paying such close attention! I've been reading books on writing lately, and they seemed to be big on cutting as many words as possible, so I was going for a minimalist style. I'd originally called him Superman first, then said how "Clark Kent" had an office at the Planet, but then it occurred to me that it'd be more elegant to combine the two. The "sneaking inside" line was a relic of the first two drafts, where I started with Lois sitting across the street and thinking, got her over to the Planet, and then ran out of things to say... but one of the *other* things the writing books had said was that it was the job of the author to just get two interesting characters in a room together, and eavesdrop on their conversation. That worked so much better.

More than you wanted to know, I'm sure!

Thanks to everyone who's commented; the reaction to this thing has amazed me.

Now, for all you people who demanded a sequel -- I maintain that this story stands perfectly well on its own and doesn't need anything further. What more could I do, anyway? Stories are no good without conflict, and it's all sweetness and light already, right? But my muse wasn't listening, and kept whispering ideas at me. So, keep an eye out for "My Date with Lyn," coming soon to a message board near you...

PJ

Adored this, and it's sequel!!

Thank you, Pam!

I've been wanting to get back into reading fic on the mbs again, but I couldn't handle the idea of trying to play catch-up. I needed something short and sweet to get started with, and you go ahead and post something as delightful as this!

For the record, I twigged when she called him "Mr. Kent" rather than Superman. I read it after whatever tweaking you'd done so I've no idea about the additions or subtractions. You did miss a few past tenses, though: "He really looked miserable" rather than "looks" and "I think that shocked him" rather than "shocks."

Lovely piece, Pam! A great little "dimension rewrite" rather than ep rewrite, and extremely satisfying.

Hazel, happy to be FDKing again

Hi,

Great story.


How did Luthor die?

Pam, these stories were great - I loved them! Waffy, snappy dialogue, and a kiss at the end!!

What's next on the agenda?

Vicki (who hopes to be back...someday...how is everyone?)

I loved it! It was great. I thought she was who she said she was right up to the end part about going out to dinner with him. Good story.

Is that a sequel I see on the boards? GTG read!
Nancy

I'm a bit late on FDK for this, but well, better late then never

So. At first I had no idea it was alt-world. That cleared up once you mentioned I had actually wondered if it was somewhere in the regular metropolis, with Clark being editor. The office was a real curve-ball. And who this Lyn-floozy having a crush on Lois' Superman?

Oh, that's this Lyn-floozy having a crush on her Superman :p Well, I was about 99% sure.

A great vignette, Pam. Loved it.

Michael