Paul,
This is great! Not only is it a good fic, but you managed to fix some major holes in the story line. I laughed all the way through! I particularly liked it that you fixed the ridiculous Jonathan and Martha story line before it even happened. I mean, c'mon! "Men work."??? And I thought I would choke when you pointed out the flaw in the fact that the granddaughter was conveniently out shopping for tea when Lois and Clark decided they needed to talk to her. Too funny! I had wondered about that... Most of the other stuff I wanted to point out has already been mentioned, so I'll cut this short.
And don't tell Anna, but I loved the bit poking fun of Dan.
Great job, Paul! You had me
throughout the episode, erm episode rewrite. Oh, and I hope for your sake the connection was free.
Jana
P.S. Rivka, take it from someone who has seen the episode, Paul's version makes much more sense!
