I'm thinking if you posted your story in fatter posts, thereby having fewer of them, it might not seem intimidating to readers, who seeing 10 parts all at once, might think it's an epic they don't have the time to invest in.
Yeah, I've gotten a few suggestions to space my posts out a little more.
That said, once I got started, I couldn't stop until I was finished. I love your story telling. I love that it has a comic book element to it, super-powered villian and a lot of Superman.
Well, I do love the comics, and I try to see if I can incorporate those elements into L&C, while still keeping the essence of the show! Keep an eye out for more of the comics styling mixed in with L&C in the future!
I especially enjoyed Superman and Supergirl fighting in front of the Kents. I could picture it. And you have Clark's overprotective bit down cold.
Two adults in tights and capes fighting like children . . . ah, the visual image of that still cracks me up!
I took it as a challenge to find your bit that 'sucked like a straw', and I gotta say, for me, it just wasn't in there.
Loved the action, loved the conflict, and enjoyed the story very much.
They say a writer is his own worst critic, and I've been told that is the truth about me. I just felt rushed with the story in some parts, so maybe that's it. I tried to go back and do a little rewriting in some areas, but I haven't been able to think of anything, so I'm just going to leave it alone.
Thanks again for the feedback, CC!!
Jaxie
