Jaxie,

Can you stand some advice from someone who is as new at this as you are?

I'm thinking if you posted your story in fatter posts, thereby having fewer of them, it might not seem intimidating to readers, who seeing 10 parts all at once, might think it's an epic they don't have the time to invest in.

That said, once I got started, I couldn't stop until I was finished. I love your story telling. I love that it has a comic book element to it, super-powered villian and a lot of Superman.

I especially enjoyed Superman and Supergirl fighting in front of the Kents. I could picture it. And you have Clark's overprotective bit down cold.

I took it as a challenge to find your bit that 'sucked like a straw', and I gotta say, for me, it just wasn't in there.

Loved the action, loved the conflict, and enjoyed the story very much.

CC-

Yeah, I've gotten a few suggestions to space my posts out a little more.

Well, I do love the comics, and I try to see if I can incorporate those elements into L&C, while still keeping the essence of the show! Keep an eye out for more of the comics styling mixed in with L&C in the future!

Two adults in tights and capes fighting like children . . . ah, the visual image of that still cracks me up!

They say a writer is his own worst critic, and I've been told that is the truth about me. I just felt rushed with the story in some parts, so maybe that's it. I tried to go back and do a little rewriting in some areas, but I haven't been able to think of anything, so I'm just going to leave it alone.

Thanks again for the feedback, CC!!

Jaxie

That would probably help you get more comments Give people the idea that you won't post more until you have enough feedback on the last part, so if they want more, they'd better say nice things about it...

Also, I'd suggest you consolidate your posts; instead of ten sections you might only need four or five -- I'm an old-timer so I'm conditioned to think that one section = ~20k in ASCII txt format; others say they post anywhere from 5-7 pages at once, and some people post longer than that.

I haven't read this one of yours yet, partly because I didn't want to deal with 10 parts but I will catch up with it soon, I hope. I'm distracted because of the hurricane coming through here, tomorrow...

PJ

Hi Jaxie,

I just started reading your story, and I am enjoying it very much. So far, I've read up to Part 3. I concer with what CC said, especially this:

I second that! This story is a lot of fun to read. Thanks for posting it, as I did not see it on the other boards. I'll come back later, after I've read some more. Just wanted to tell you that so far:

- Vicki

Yes, I found tackling 10 posts at once rather daunting, considering how busy I am at the moment.

Course, until this folder, it hadn't occurred to me to check just how long each segment was. :rolleyes:

I'll be checking back later tomorrow, hopefully to settle down and have a wallow in these. If the segments are short it shouldn't be as hard to fit as I first thought!

LabRat

As for the ending, it may not have been as action-packed as the rest, but it was a sweet, well-written wrap-up. Like dessert after a spicy meal.

Hi Jaxie,

I'm back, having just read parts 4 - 10. And, no, the ending most definitely did NOT "suck like a straw"! I *liked* the ending. It wrapped everything up, and was full of hope for a new beginning. I thought it was an excellent ending, and I wouldn't change a thing. In fact, the whole story was excellent.

I see you've posted the beginning of a new story, so I'm off to read that now. See ya later!

- Vicki

Still catching up and having an enjoyable afternoon doing it too. Um...Superman wasn't standing too close when that lightning hit, was he? <fret>

Eeep! Yes, this was definitely a tense opening segment, Jaxie - nicely setting up the conflict and action to come.

Unfortunately, I don't have time to comment on each individual segment, but I enjoyed this story very much. Another thing you have a good ear for is dialogue - it's all very natural and flows well.

Loved the argument between Linda and Superman. LOL. And Martha and Jonathan were just perfect there.

I also love the little attention to detail you've worked in:

Beautifully sharp.

And, hel-lo... Sparks between Linda and Jimmy, huh? I thought the ending was cute and didn't suck at all.

Okay, on to story no. three. The title of which is already rather intriguing. <g>



Brava, Jaxie! Thanks for sharing such a fun story.

LabRat

No, it's not sparks, it's SUPER sparks!



Brava, Jaxie! Thanks for sharing such a fun story.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thank you! *bows, falls over, gets up quickly, rubbing forehead and grinning sheepishly*

Jaxie