Jaxie,
Can you stand some advice from someone who is as new at this as you are?
I'm thinking if you posted your story in fatter posts, thereby having fewer of them, it might not seem intimidating to readers, who seeing 10 parts all at once, might think it's an epic they don't have the time to invest in.
That said, once I got started, I couldn't stop until I was finished. I love your story telling. I love that it has a comic book element to it, super-powered villian and a lot of Superman.
I especially enjoyed Superman and Supergirl fighting in front of the Kents. I could picture it. And you have Clark's overprotective bit down cold.
I took it as a challenge to find your bit that 'sucked like a straw', and I gotta say, for me, it just wasn't in there.
Loved the action, loved the conflict, and enjoyed the story very much.
CC-
