Taivas, this story continues to entertain with it's slight twists on the events of the pilot. I tend not to favor episode rewrites because there can be too much 'been there done that' especially with something like the pilot, but you continue to give us these little twists and turns as we flow along. It makes it fun to see where next you'll diverge.
As I mentioned before I really like the modified reversal of emotional attractions between Lois and Clark. Yet you keep their feelings in character.
As far as instalment length... a gentle reader will never tell you that one is too long. It's only too long if it won't fit in a message board post.
We could get into a long discussion here as to the 'optimal' place to end a story part but this is not the venue for that discussion. Let's just say that you should be comfortable with where you leave your story as it 'goes to commercial break' and where you leave your readers until you can come back again.
This has continued to be a fun story.
Tank (who thinks it would be okay for Taivas to discontinue his real life until he has built up a nice posting buffer in this story)
