Hi, welcome to the boards!
As for part one of your fic, it was well written, and it was... umm... short? If I counted correctly there were twenty-one lines, and the first line consisted of (I think) eighteen words. So if we assume that each line of your fic contains eighteen words, that would mean that this part consists of 21 x 18 words, 378 words. Not a lot.
I'm the resident staunch defender and supporter of Lois on these boards, and I always want to look at things from her point of view. So what interested me most here was the following quote:
He caught snippets of murmured phrases: “Always thought they looked alike…” “Never in the same place…” “…wonder if Lois knew?”
Yes, me too! I'm wondering, too! Another thing you may want to know about me is that I haven't seen the LnC show. I'm here because I've been a diehard "Lois and Superman" fan since 1969. Because of that I don't know if Lois in the LnC TV show knew about Clark's dual identity during Top Copy. But one thing is clear - I want to know what Lois is going to say about this whole situation!
One more thing. Would Clark come to work just like that the day after his secret had been blown? Would he report for duty to Perry just like that? You know, like, "Did I forget to tell you I'm Superman, Perry? Well, I am... and now I suppose you want me to continue looking into that alleged graft business at City Hall?" Eh. Isn't that
exactly what Perry would want Clark to do on a day like this?
And wouldn't the Daily Planet Building be beleagured by other reporters wanting to know more about Clark Superman Kent? Wouldn't everyone who knew Clark Kent suddenly be fair game?
Speaking about other things, this is a very haunting, captivating way of opening your fic:
Dying from exposure, he had always imagined, would be a cold and isolated experience. Slowly, the forces of nature would winnow away at a person's life force, leaving them empty and lifeless. No one around to help, no one to be comforted by. Just the elements of nature.
Haunting. Wow.
Well, this is quite a situation! Come back with more soon. Give us chapters that are a little longer. And give us more of Lois!
Ann
