Classicalla: some honest feedback there, and I appreciate it.
Here's my thinking on your points:
You know how the TV show Lost only gives you part of the flashback of each character? Well that's what I'm aiming for. Hard to see where I'm going that way, posting chapter by chapter, but perhaps in the context of the entire story, it will work OK.
I don't think Lois is shallow, but let's face it: if you were thin and beautiful and you met your twin and she was overweight, wouldn't there be a part of you that would wonder if your boyfriend/husband would still love you if you suddenly gained weight?
And Larger-Lois opened up the weight issue right away by stating that she wished she had been born with thin-Lois' figure...so Thin-Lois, knowing exactly how her larger twin would think intuitively, feels comfortable bringing up the subject. It's like talking to yourself....
Anyway....let me know in a few more chapters if my methodology works or not!!
