Sue, I don't dispute that particular point of TEEEEJ's either. I didn't disagree with everything that she had written, but tried to concentrate on the areas where our opinions differed.
You start giving your children the coping skills that they're going to need later in life from the very beginning. You don't wait until they're older and suddenly decide to start parenting them.
I agree with that, too, and I assume that is what most of us are trying to do every day as parents. But I'm a bit confused and not sure why you wrote that. Is there any indication that Megan's parents had come up short in that area? Yes, the thought of Megan talking about suicide in the third grade is most disturbing, and it sounds as though she started seeing a therapist immediately after that. Is there evidence that neglect or lack of parenting skills caused Megan's thoughts to head in that direction in the first place, and that Megan's parents were suddenly playing catch-up?
If a young person commits a crime/is abusive/commits suicide/a number of other choices, often the seeds of disturbance leads back directly to their childhood, and how they were raised. But is it always the parents' fault? Can we always point fingers and say, "If
you had done that, then
this wouldn't have happened?" I don't know that it's always that easy.
*****
ETA: When Sue posted with a quote and referred to TEEEJ's argument, I assumed that she was quoting from TEEJ. I did not bother to check that, but confirmed that I wasn't arguing against everything that TEEJ had written. I have since realized that in fact Sue was quoting from Lara's excellent post. I am in complete agreement with Lara's quote and, if that is also TEEJ's viewpoint, then agree with her as well.
Not that anyone but me probably cares at this point, but I did want to set the record straight.
