I sat down and read this in one sitting last Thursday night, but haven't had time to comment until now. First thing to say is that I liked this. I hadn't read the previous version, and I'm curious to know what had changed.
I certainly wouldn't have taken the time to read all the parts in one go if I hadn't found the story compelling, so congrats on engaging my interest!
Good points? Well, you made Lois and Clark's relationship very poignant. I really felt for this alt-Clark. I'm curious, though; you say that both of Clark's parents died, but you stress the fact that Clark witnessed his mother's death. I assume that she took longer to die, hence the death-bed conversation(?).
Now, you mention Trask. My immediate response was, ah hah! A dangling thread, all ready for the sequel, and then you tell us that you have no plans for another long story. No. You can't get away with that! We won't let you.
Good use of technobabble!
I barely understood it, but I understood enough to get the gist of what was going on. That is success in the tradition of Star Trek and ER. (I shared a house for a while with someone who was a massive ER fan. One day she was lamenting the fact that she couldn't understand much of what was going on; I pointed out that she didn't have to. All she needed to know was that it was exciting and that the characters knew what was happening!)
One last question, which might stem from the fact that it was very late when I read this, so it might be me being very thick; the first Tsunami in 1958... Was that a test run by Tempus, or was it a natural occurence? Just curious.
Chris
