Hooray! You liked it! Thanks everyone, I feel much better about this scene now.
He doesn't realize that Lois is genuinely curious about Superman rather than mooning over him exactly!
and
And I liked that she realized that she *wasn't* mooning over Superman, just curious about the activities of a friend. I have a vague memory that last time through, she did get into a few romantic fantasies before the fight shocked her into her senses. I like her better now that she's not two-timing Clark After that bar scene, it would have seemed terribly shallow of her.
Very glad this came across. This is something I've changed for this revision, something I felt was necessary after changes made to earlier scenes, as pointed out here:
But now that you've reworked this, for her to appear to still be obsessing about Superman after their steamy dancing and kisses on the dance floor the previous night, the reason for Clark to be upset is even stronger.
Also:
Since you moved up the incident with Paul and the waitress to earlier in the story, I think that by this point it is two nights ago.
Good catch! I totally missed this. Thank you.
out of this whole part, there are only two things i have to complain about. first, there are a couple of extra hard returns. second, you used starbucks. how could you? overpriced midling-quality coffee aside, they're ubiquitous dens of yuppie evilness...
LOL! Well, in DC there is a starbucks on every corner (and I mean every corner, not just every intersection <G>) so it was just a natural assumption.
That's what I call a wistful, heartwrenching, agonizing moment
Really? Because I just write fluff. I'm not into all that agonizing <G>
(I have to admit, it's funny to have another Kathy on the boards ... I keep looking at her posts and thinking "when did I write this?" )
And I keep looking at her posts thinking, "That's not what she said yesterday..." <G>
And I love the way that Clark finally loses his cool. (A true TDASC moment! Oh, Annie, I'm so proud!)
LOL! Well, I learned from the best.
Thanks again everyone. I'm so glad you're enjoying this the second time around.
Annie
