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Joined: Nov 2004
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Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 457 |
I might not be coherrent, but I'm on time! On with the show! The grungy table sat empty and alone, save for one small wooden chair, and the refrigerator, nauseatingly green, wouldn’t stop rattling. I love that imagery... the empty table. A metaphor for her life maybe? could be why she noticed it? She feels connected to the table... united in their lonely, wooden lives... Ok, and I'll move on before I make a complete idiot of myself... Lonely wooden lives?! It's your fault really... sorta... I mean... leading us down these metaphoric paths... Yep. Your fault. *ahem* She couldn't stay here anymore. Not after tonight. It wasn't her. This wasn't Lois Lane. Ah, there's that Lane pride! Oh, who was she kidding? She longed for someone to validate her existence. Someone to say, "Oh, thank God you're alive, Lois!" I know I've told you before, but I just love that line. It *really* hits home. Every single word from: But only because of some God-awful twist of fate that had brought a different Lois Lane to his door. to: Which didn't make any sense, anyway. Why would that upset him unless...
Unless he loved the other Lois. Holy hell, Sara! You... you... that's amazing writing! I just... it's like being slapped in the face. And then there was the niggling feeling somewhere inside that she just might be in love with Clark Kent. Now, I *know* I told you that I love this before, but... I *love* this line! Lois had a feeling, right after meeting him... right from the start. Because... well... this *needs* to be highlighted. *Needs* to be pointed out. The genius of Sara... He realized now that as much as it had felt like it, he hadn't really been in love with the first Lois. Lust. Attraction. Some kind of inexplicable echo of a connection between them. But he hadn't been in love with her.
And now that *his* Lois was here... he wasn't in love with her either. I ladore that! For fear of quoting the entire rescue scene, I wont, but... damn. That whole scene was amazing. Amazingly written. Amazingly powerful. Just... amazing. And this... And it was suffocating him. ... has got to be one of my all time favourite lines! /me ruffles Sara's hairI ladore this chapter!
'I just kind of died for you; You just kind of stared at me' - Aurora, Foo Fighters
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Joined: Oct 2004
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 165 |
Wow Sara! Powerful piece of writing. I like how everything is all better, how Clark doesn't immediately fall head over heels in love. And I'm glad he has realised that she isn't 'his Lois' she's her own Lois. Lois is just...aw! I love the way you put such detail into describing her suroundings. I'd be crying too if I was in her situation. Again, I love the way you're characters are so real, with realistic emotions and reactions and...well you get the picture don't you? And Aw! Poor Clark. Even forgot his Supes suit, he's so messed up. But he is still a hero, because he saved her even though he wasn't ready to face the world and he was scared and messed up.... Love your writing Sara! Please...never stop.
In this life of froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another's trouble, Courage in your own.
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Posts: 699
Columnist
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Columnist
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Poor Lois. Poor Clark. Excellent installment, Sara. I'm really looking forward to a LOT more. Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Joined: Jun 2003
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jun 2003
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"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is." ~Mary Anne Radmacher
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Great part.
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hmmmm Something in this feels a little Wendyish. especially the last few paragraphs. But there is a positive note in all this and some Wendyish punctuation that makes me think it is somewhere in the lines below. Anyway I enjoyed it and would have liked much more. I will continue reading it as it comes. Hopefully you do not make us wait that long between. Laura posted August 22, 2005 08:01 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And bonus points to anyone who identifies Wendy's lines among mine.
Clark.
Clark had. But only because of some God-awful twist of fate that had brought a different Lois Lane to his door. One who obviously meant a great deal to him, otherwise he wouldn't have been so stunned instead of angry to find a strange woman in his apartment. Maybe those flashes of longing she'd seen in his eyes had been meant for her, the other Lois. Surely it would be confusing to have an exact double of someone dear to you mere feet away, and surely trying to remain stoic about it would be even worse of a trial.
He obviously admired the other Lois. Lois was certain that her counterpart held a special place in Clark's heart. A counterpart she clearly didn't match up to. Any illusion of similarity had been shattered when she'd revealed how weak and foolish she'd been.
Which didn't make any sense, anyway. Why would that upset him unless...
Unless he loved the other Lois.
Maybe that was why he'd been so upset. At first in his bedroom, then later after she'd said... too much. He'd realized it wasn't *her* standing in his bedroom. He'd been distant. Distracted. Thinking of the other Lois? Then later, he'd been horrified. Had he been comparing her to her counterpart? Finding her wanting?
That didn't make sense either.
She wasn't some replacement Lois, nor was it true that just because she was Lois Lane she was meant to be with him.
*That* was a ridiculous notion.
But whatever the reasons for his stunned reaction, he'd changed his mind. Or had done a pretty good job at hiding his dismay and shock. He'd made a heartfelt plea for her to stay, actually convinced her that he *did* care. About *her*.
Oh, she hoped it was true. She hoped he really did feel *something* for her, even if it was just concern for her well being.
Lois Lane hated to admit it, but she needed help. Clark's help. And she was starting to realize she'd need his help for more than just putting an end to the mess in the Congo.
She needed money. Or a place to stay. Or both. But she loathed the thought that he might consider her a charity case. She really needed to get a start on putting her life back together, and soon. She hated feeling so helpless and alone.
Though... she guessed she wasn't alone anymore, not in the grander sense. There was another universe. Another Lois Lane. Actually, there could be hundreds of Lois Lanes. Lois Lane was a dime a dozen. The thought only made her feel more isolated.
She'd known coming home wasn't going to be easy, but she would never have imagined she'd be faced with anything she'd been hit with in the last few hours. Parallel universes. H.G. Wells. Counterparts. An evil man trying to take over the world.
And then there was the niggling feeling somewhere inside that she just might be in love with Clark Kent.
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Now I officially caught up on this story, too. And I just love it when they're both miserable And then this: And then there was the niggling feeling somewhere inside that she just might be in love with Clark Kent. Is this the silver lining? Can't wait for more, ~Julia
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Sara WOW, another excellent part! Tricia
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40 |
Eep! I almost forgot to post tonight altogether. I have to go to bed now so I don't miss class in the morning but I'll be sure to come back for comments later. Sara
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40 |
I might not be coherrent, but I'm on time! Hee... but I'm not. ;P Oh, who was she kidding? She longed for someone to validate her existence. Someone to say, "Oh, thank God you're alive, Lois!" I know I've told you before, but I just love that line. It *really* hits home. Me too, so I'm really glad you love it, too. Holy hell, Sara!
You... you... that's amazing writing! I just... it's like being slapped in the face. I... I'm going to take that as a huge compliment. For fear of quoting the entire rescue scene, I wont, but... damn. That whole scene was amazing. Amazingly written. Amazingly powerful. Just... amazing. I have told you that I'm in love with you, David, right? Sara
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Columnist
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I hope I get brownie points Mmmm, chocolate. Lois hugged the pillow tightly as she sobbed. She could only see half of the motel room from her curled up position, but it still depressed her. Everything was blurry through her tears. Muted. Just rip out my heart now, Sara. Very nice part. God! She couldn't stay here anymore. Not after tonight. It wasn't her. This wasn't Lois Lane.
Lois Lane didn't stay in cheap motels; she stayed at the Lexor. Lois Lane didn't have to worry about how she was going to afford her next meal. Lois Lane didn't need to ask for help, for anything. Lois Lane didn't ever feel lonely or helpless. And most certainly, Lois Lane didn't cry. ....yet. Then he'd flown into his bedroom and saw her there. It'd been like a cold bucket of water being thrown in his face, shocking him and robbing him of the air in his lungs. Everything had halted. The world had stopped turning.
There she'd stood, the sole cause of all his misery and anguish. OMG! Nice part. The Lois of the other universe had shown him what it could be like. Shown him that true love - a love so deep one could drown if he or she weren't careful - did exist. For some. She'd shown him just how perfect, how meant to be, Lois Lane and Clark Kent were for each other.
But not every Lois Lane and Clark Kent.
He resented his Lois. He flinched. She wasn't *his*. ACK!!! The woman he'd saved... she might think differently, but she was just one person. He was responsible for the whole of Metropolis, not to mention the world, and he was no longer sure it was something he could handle. The good and well-being of the world was centered squarely on his shoulders.
And it was suffocating him. It's getting soooo emotional. ACK! Must get a change of tissues. Your evil! Rach(onto the next part..again.)
Me: what are you looking at *Snatches pic* OMFG! Dean smeared in peanut butter?! WTF?! Sara: LMAO it was chocolate!! smeared in chocolate! Me: LMFAO chocolate smeared in chocolate! Sara: LMAO the *chocolate* isn't smeared in chocolate! Me: that's the way i read it. was trying to picture chocolate smeared in chocolate Sara: ROTFLMAO
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 188 |
Oh my! This alt-Clark is so insecure, depressive and lack of confidence! ! I just want to hug him and rocking him to sleep and brush his tears off!! You are making him SO human, and I love it, thus really really hope someday they could reach their happiness!
Clark: "So what are you saying? I should go crawling back on my hands and knees?" Martha: "No, honey. Fly back. It's faster!!"
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