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Lois is currently a very bad girl...er... woman on the boards: planning to, and sometimes actually breaking laws (and possibly getting caught doing so) left and right in some of our fanfics at the moment. It made me wonder what other things she and Clark actually did during their four seasons of LnC, which weren't exactly legal. While trying to figure out where Lois's crimes for my big heavy A-Plot arc fit on the below referenced NY felony scale (standing in for the one for New Troy, which was strangely absent from the Internet), I noticed that some of the descriptions for these felonies sounded vaguely familiar, as in our favorite hero and heroine allegedly did the crime on the show. So, here's the challenge : List as many crimes as possible (I don't know if we'll get to 100, but we can try). Include the Episode in which the crime takes place, Who perpetrated the crime, and What the crime was. I'm looking mostly for Lois and Clark crimes, but will also accept any by other Daily Planet regulars (Perry, Jimmy, Cat) and family members (Ellen, Sam, Lucy, Martha, and Jonathan), basically the good guys! If Clark or Superman committed a crime, please be specific on which persona committed the crime (as shown below). Let's see what our heroes were able to get away with. I'll get us started: 1) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy (and then Clark) Trespassed into a secure area of EPRAD to take a look at the Messenger wreckage. 2) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy broke and entered the Messenger Hangar (using a lock pick). 3) The Pilot: Clark broke in (literally) and entered the Messenger Hangar, causing willful property damage to the Messenger hangar's door. 4) TOGOM: Superman dangles Dillinger upside-down from a building to gain information. (Attempted Murder in the 2nd degree?, Attempted Assault?, Menacing in the 3rd degree, Reckless Endangerment, etc.) [Let's not get into nit-picking whether or not this constitutes a crime since Dillinger is technically a clone. That's just a whole other can of worms. For the sake of this discussion, let's just say a clone life is equal to a human or Kryptonian.] 5) Ides of Metropolis: Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. ("Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree") And so on.... Good luck! *** Recently I was doing research, I stumbled onto this great website which describes the different crimes in NY by class: NY Crimes by Offense Level (which breaks down the difference between a Class A Felony, Class B Felony, etc. Great research tool BTW). It gives a great description of the different crimes out there and the differentiation between them.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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6) Clark (albeit using some super abilities) stole jewelry for Mazik in "And the Answer Is." True, he was coerced into doing so, so the courts would probably go easy on him if he had actually been brought to trial, but he did, nevertheless, steal from a jewelry store.
7) Clark as Clark stole a sample of Mentamide 5 in "Smart Kids."
8) Clark as Clark stole an atomizer of Revenge in PML.
So much for Clark/Superman being the bastion of lawfulness.
Since I have to get ready for work, I don't have time even to begin listing all the times Lois (sometimes with Clark) committed breaking and entering, as well as other felonies. Oh, all right...I'll list just two of hers to bring the count up to an even ten.
9) Lois committed B&E in HiM.
10) I don't know whether Lois committed B&E in ASU, but at the very least she was trespassing.
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: 10) I don't know whether Lois committed B&E in ASU, but at the very least she was trespassing. When did Lois trespass in ASU?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: 5) Ides of Metropolis: Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. ("Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree") 11) Uh, hello! Wouldn't hiding Eugene, an escaped convict, be considered "aiding and abetting"? Come to think of it, 12) in DLW Superman breaks Lois out of prison. Bad Superman, bad... Lonnie
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Originally posted by Lonnie: 11) Uh, hello! Wouldn't hiding Eugene, an escaped convict, be considered "aiding and abetting"? Yes, "Harboring an escaped felon." 13) IoM: Lois takes away Eugene's gun from him (but we never see exactly what she does with it.) So, possession of stolen property / unregistered firearm / concealed weapon. 14) Madame Ex: Lois steals medical files from Dr. Heller's office (locking the temp in a room to do so). Theft.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: When did Lois trespass in ASU? Oops. I must be misrembering episodes. In which one did Lex catch her nosing about in his office? Or was that a fanfic I'm remembering? Oh well. In lieu of my old 10, I submit this: 10) Superman breaks Lois out of prison on DLW. Better? Joy, Lynn p.s., Revision: I answered your post before I read Lonnie's. I see that my new #10 was actually already taken as #12. Hmmm... Let me think a few minutes... OK, how about: 10) In OP, Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. Would that count? Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there?
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15) Clark impersonates a police officer in Church of Metropolis.
16) Clark bends Luthor's sword in Neverending Battle. Destruction of personal property.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 16) Clark bends Luthor's sword in Neverending Battle. Destruction of personal property. Psst. I think that was Superman, not Clark. 17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment. 18) The Pilot: Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. Lois also planned on traveling without permission / stowaway.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: 10) In OP, Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. Would that count? Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there? That could be considered an accidental death since Clark/Superman* merely opened the liquid nitrogen container. Superman could have defrosted Spencer again later with his heat vision, but the "security" guards blind shooting broke the Spencer-icicle. Hmmm. Therefore, he could also be considered an accessory to the crime, couldn't he? *Since Spencer Spencer knew that CK=SM either name would work here. 19) AtAI: Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath, or would this be considered suicide by superhero? (Reckless endangerment) 20) Voice from the Past: Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath. (Reckless Endangerment, AGAIN)
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: 19) AtAI: Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath, or would this be considered suicide by superhero? Since Lois asked (begged, actually) to be frozen, I would say the latter. 20) Voice from the Past: Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath. Actually, in both of these, she was just "mostly dead," so the worst he could be charged with would be attempted murder. Actually not even that -- in neither case did he have the intent to kill her. I'm not sure what this would be: Practicing medicine without a license, maybe? Joy, Lynn
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: Actually, in both of these, she was just "mostly dead," so the worst he could be charged with would be attempted murder. Actually not even that -- in neither case did he have the intent to kill her. I'm not sure what this would be: Practicing medicine without a license, maybe? Reckless endangerment, i.e. doing something that could lead to the (permanent) death of someone else.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Reckless endangerment, Yup. That would be it. Joy, Lynn
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Wow! We've already reached 20. Maybe 100 isn't such a difficult goal after all. 21) Swear to God: Clark destroys Lamont's (Leo Nunk's photographer) film using his vision do-hicky (x-ray vision). Although, being that nobody present except Lois knows that CK=SM and she'd never testify against her husband, I doubt this willful destruction of property would ever make it to court.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] 16) Clark bends Luthor's sword in Neverending Battle. Destruction of personal property. Psst. I think that was Superman, not Clark.
17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment.
18) The Pilot: Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. Lois also planned on traveling without permission / stowaway. [/b]Point taken. 22) In the Pilot, Clark uses his heat vision to destroy the engine of the machinery that was about to demolish the theater. 23) In TOGoM, Clark fakes his own death. (Granted, he finds a way to resurrect himself...)
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17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment. Totally off topic, but I wonder what would have happened if, in this scene, Lex suddenly produced Kryptonite and Superman wasn't able to catch the bullet he shot at Luthor.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Lois is currently a very bad girl...er... woman on the boards: Michael (edited titles)
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26) PML - Perry sexually harasses Rehaila.
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26a) PML - Lois sexually harassed Clark.
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Lois is currently a very bad girl...er... woman on the boards: . I think that was Battleground Earth, too, Michael, and it wasn't Clark, but Superman (Kal-El). 25) LotF: Lois. Solicitation. If she's not charging Kal-El for her services, is it really solicitation? KAL-EL: And you'd think I'd get a little more services than kisses. LOIS: KAL-EL: Just saying, honey...
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: 26a) PML - Lois sexually harassed Clark. But, he'd never press charges on that.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: [b] 26a) PML - Lois sexually harassed Clark. But, he'd never press charges on that. [/b]Quite true. But that is rather beside the point. Actually, if it came to that, both Lois and Perry could have extenuating circumstances, and I highly doubt either one would be convicted even if they were brought to trial.
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re titles... But Lois is formally introduced as a professional care giver. This means she's not there volunteering or as an intern but actually performing in her chosen profession. I think we could take her to court over this... Michael Edit: 27: Lucky Leon: Clark/Superman: Stealing a nuclear device. 27b: Lucky Lean: Clark/Superman: Detonating a nuclear device in the atmosphere. I think we could formulate a treason/terrorism charge for either of these that gets him the death penalty in a federal court. 28: Strange Visitor: Lois & Clark: Espionage 29: Family Hour: Kidnapping 30: Double Jeopardy: Clark: Adding and Abetting
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: But Lois is formally introduced as a professional care giver. This means she's not there volunteering or as an intern but actually performing in her chosen profession. I think we could take her to court over this... You mean, even if no money has actually changed hands, Lois was soliciting herself (with intent), so therefore she could be prosecuted for it? Works for me. KAL-EL: Worked for me too. So, does that mean we need a... 31) LotF / Battleground Earth: Superman hired (accepted services) of a prostitute LOIS: *Excuse me!* But the correct title is "Concubine". Thank you very much.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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32) Top Copy - Lois steals Mayson's beeper. Theft of personal property.
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33. TOGOM - Clark - removing evidence from a crime scene - the movie ticket stub that was on the floor at the bank.
34. TOGOM - Lois - illegal gambling
32. Top Copy - Lois - theft of Mayson's pager. Maybe some other charges related to locating the witness at the safe house?
35. Pilot - Clark - international travel to China without a passport and avoiding Customs. (How many times did he do this throughout the series?)
36. Metallo - Superman - accessory to John Corbin's murder ...? Or excessive use of force? I read a fic a while back where Superman was charged with Corben's murder because melting his legs was unnecessarily violent, and if he hadn't melted his legs, Vale couldn't have taken the kryptonite that was powering him, thus killing him. If this one isn't sufficiently cut-and-dried, feel free to replace it. (I can't remember the name of the story, and I can't seem to find it via a site search either here or on the archives.)
EDIT: Gah! Deadly Chakram, you beat me to it. So I'm re-numbering mine.
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Originally posted by mrsMxyzptlk: EDIT: Gah! Deadly Chakram, you beat me to it. So I'm re-numbering mine. Ha! Too funny! I was just thinking of the "removal of evidence" thing with the TOGoM ticket too!
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I'm not sure whether this would count, since his actions were a result of post-hypnotic suggestion, but:
37) Superman - destruction of public property (specifically, parking meters) in IoG.
38) In JSN, L&C may be considered to be trespassing when they enter Smiley's back room. Also, even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. So perhaps theft could be added to their rapidly-increasing rap sheet.
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39) Breaking and entering Menken's Gym in Requiem.
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: 38) In JSN, L&C may be considered to be trespassing when they enter Smiley's back room. Also, even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. So perhaps theft could be added to their rapidly-increasing rap sheet. Along these same lines: 40)JSN: Lois and Clark took the torn page from the dead woman's shoe (Janet?). Withholding / removing evidence from a murder scene.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 39) Breaking and entering Menken's Gym in Requiem. Um... I don't think they broke into the gym. Do you mean Dr. Sam Lane's medical office?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] 39) Breaking and entering Menken's Gym in Requiem. Um... I don't think they broke into the gym. Do you mean Dr. Sam Lane's medical office? [/b]I was under the impression that they were one and the same. Otherwise, why would Menken and the fighter be there in the middle of the night? The script does say Sam Lane's Office as the locale though.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: I was under the impression that they were one and the same. Otherwise, why would Menken and the fighter be there in the middle of the night? The script does say Sam Lane's Office as the locale though. Yeah, I never understood why they were visiting Dr. Lane's office when he wasn't there either. The reason for it must have gotten lost in one of the earlier drafts. I'm with you.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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40) Trespassing on government land - both Lois and Clark in Operation Blackout.
41) Impersonating US soldiers - both Lois and Clark in Operation Blackout. (Federal crime to impersonate a decorated soldier.)
42) Terrorism - Superman hands over nukes to terrorists in Lucky Leon after stealing them from legit US soldiers. (Um, Clark, about that "checking your sources" thing you do as a reporter...)
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 40) Trespassing on government land - both Lois and Clark in Operation Blackout. DC, I'm switching this to #43, because I've already used #40. Just to repeat: 40)JSN: Lois and Clark took the torn page from the dead woman's shoe (Janet?). Withholding / removing evidence from a murder scene. Next number up: 44.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Ah, thanks. Not sure how I missed the other one. :p
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42) Terrorism - Superman hands over nukes to terrorists in Lucky Leon after stealing them from legit US soldiers. (Um, Clark, about that "checking your sources" thing you do as a reporter...) /points at #27/ Michael
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: 42) Terrorism - Superman hands over nukes to terrorists in Lucky Leon after stealing them from legit US soldiers. (Um, Clark, about that "checking your sources" thing you do as a reporter...) /points at #27/
Michael <throws in the towel>
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Okay, so that puts us at...43 now.
43) Clark uses super speed to be "Superman getting out the shower" in MoSB. Contempt of court, right? Since he broke his promise to not use super abilities. (And this seconds *after* he catches himself about to heat vision up some tea.)
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Just to review / clarify: 1) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy (and then Clark) Trespassed into a secure area of EPRAD to take a look at the Messenger wreckage.
2) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy broke and entered the Messenger Hangar (using a lock pick).
3) The Pilot: Clark broke in (literally) and entered the Messenger Hangar, causing willful property damage to the Messenger hangar's door.
4) TOGOM: Superman dangles Dillinger upside-down from a building to gain information. (Attempted Murder in the 2nd degree?, Attempted Assault?, Menacing in the 3rd degree, Reckless Endangerment, etc.) [Let's not get into nit-picking whether or not this constitutes a crime since Dillinger is technically a clone. That's just a whole other can of worms. For the sake of this discussion, let's just say a clone life is equal to a human or Kryptonian.]
5) Ides of Metropolis: Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. ("Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree")
6) And the Answer Is: Clark (albeit using some super abilities) stole jewelry for Mazik. True, he was coerced into doing so, so the courts would probably go easy on him if he had actually been brought to trial, but he did, nevertheless, steal from a jewelry store.
7) Smart Kids: Clark stole a sample of Mentamide 5.
8) PML: Clark stole an atomizer of Revenge.
9) HiM: Lois committed B&E.
10) OP: Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. Would that count? Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there?
11) IoM: Hiding Eugene, an escaped convict. "aiding and abetting" (Harboring an escaped Felon)
12) DLW: Superman breaks Lois out of prison. Bad Superman, bad...
13) IoM: Lois takes away Eugene's gun from him (but we never see exactly what she does with it.) So, possession of stolen property / unregistered firearm / concealed weapon.
14) Madame Ex: Lois steals medical files from Dr. Heller's office (locking the temp in a room to do so). Theft.
15) Church of Metropolis: Clark impersonates a police officer.
16) Neverending Battle: Superman bends Luthor's sword. Destruction of personal property.
17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment.
18) The Pilot: Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. Lois also planned on traveling without permission / stowaway.
19a) AtAI: Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath and then thaws her out again (Reckless endangerment) 19b) AtAI: Lois suicide by superhero
20) Voice from the Past: Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath, and then thaws her back out. (Reckless Endangerment, AGAIN)
21) Swear to God: Clark destroys Lamont's (Leo Nunk's photographer) film using his vision do-hicky (x-ray vision). Although, being that nobody present except Lois knows that CK=SM and she'd never testify against her husband, I doubt this willful destruction of property would ever make it to court.
22) In the Pilot, Clark uses his heat vision to destroy the engine of the machinery that was about to demolish the theater.
23) In TOGoM, Clark fakes his own death. (Granted, he finds a way to resurrect himself...)
24) Battleground Earth: Clark partakes in a duel to the death. What's that? Attempted murder? Or is there actually an anti-dueling paragraph?
25) Lord of the Flies: Lois. Solicitation.
26a) PML - Perry sexually harasses Rehaila. 26b) PML - Lois sexually harassed Clark.
27a) Lucky Leon: Superman: Stealing a nuclear device. 27b) Lucky Lean: Superman: Detonating a nuclear device in the atmosphere. I think we could formulate a treason/terrorism charge for either of these that gets him the death penalty in a federal court. 27c)* Lucky Leon: Superman hands over nukes to terrorists after stealing them from legit US soldiers. Terrorism . (Um, Clark, about that "checking your sources" thing you do as a reporter...)
28) Strange Visitor: Lois & Clark: Espionage
29) Family Hour: Lois & Clark - Kidnapping of baby
30) Double Jeopardy: Clark: Adding and Abetting
31) LotF / Battleground Earth: Superman hired (accepted services) of a prostitute
32a) Top Copy: Lois steals Mayson's beeper. Theft of personal property. 32b) Maybe some other charges related to locating the witness at the safe house?
35. Pilot - Clark - international travel to China without a passport and avoiding Customs. 33) TOGOM - Clark - removing evidence from a crime scene - the movie ticket stub that was on the floor at the bank.
34) TOGOM - Lois - illegal gambling
35) Pilot - Clark - international travel to China without a passport and avoiding Customs.
36) Metallo: Superman - accessory to John Corbin's murder ...? Or excessive use of force?
37) IoG: Superman - destruction of public property (specifically, parking meters).
38) JSN: L&C may be considered to be trespassing when they enter Smiley's back room. Also, even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. So perhaps theft could be added to their rapidly-increasing rap sheet.
39) Requiem: Breaking and entering Menken's Gym (specifically Dr. Sam Lane’s medical office).
40) JSN: Lois and Clark took the torn page from the dead woman's shoe (Janet?). Withholding / removing evidence from a murder scene.
41)* Operation Blackout: Impersonating US soldiers - both Lois and Clark. (Federal crime to impersonate a decorated soldier.)
42)* MoSB: Clark uses super speed to be "Superman getting out the shower". Contempt of court, right? Since he broke his promise to not use super abilities. (And this seconds *after* he catches himself about to heat vision up some tea.)
43)* Operation Blackout: Trespassing on government land - both Lois and Clark *Renumbered by Editor. *** Next up #44!***
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: 29: Family Hour: Kidnapping I'm a little rusty here. Who did Lois, Clark or Superman kidnap? Klaus Mensa? I don't remember that. Or are you talking about the baby at the end?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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LnC, when they 'adopt' the baby. Michael
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44) Clark, Jimmy, and Perry - harboring an escaped Juvenile Detention Center prisoner (Jack) in HoL.
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45) Clark flies without a permit or filing flight plans - the Pilot at the very least, possibly many more or all episodes.
46) Lois and Clark break into Carpenter's office in The Rival. I'm not sure if this would be breaking and entering or just trespassing.
47) Superman allows the payroll check thieves to escape in Individual Responsibility. Aiding and abetting.
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48) Superman does nothing to prevent the kidnap of Perry White in Individual Responsibility. Aiding and abetting.
49) Clark steals the book from Larry Smiley's office to bring to Star to translate in Just Say Noah. Theft of personal property.
50) Superman refuses to aid a prisoner getting beaten by another while in jail in MoSB. (In some jurisdictions this falls under the Good Samaritan "duty to assist" laws.)
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 49) Clark steals the book from Larry Smiley's office to bring to Star to translate in Just Say Noah. Theft of personal property. I'm sorry, DC, I believe that's the same as #38 38) JSN: L&C may be considered to be trespassing when they enter Smiley's back room. Also, even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. So perhaps theft could be added to their rapidly-increasing rap sheet.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] 49) Clark steals the book from Larry Smiley's office to bring to Star to translate in Just Say Noah. Theft of personal property. I'm sorry, DC, I believe that's the same as #38
38) JSN: L&C may be considered to be trespassing when they enter Smiley's back room. Also, even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. So perhaps theft could be added to their rapidly-increasing rap sheet. [/b]Ah, you're right. I was trying to check this too, and my husband kept chatting. My mistake.
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Okay, replacing 49 with...
49) BFTB - Lois and Clark sneak into a cemetery after hours. Trespassing.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: Okay, replacing 49 with...
49) BFTB - Lois and Clark sneak into a cemetery after hours. Trespassing. I hate to play the devil's advocate, but are you sure? There sure seemed to be a lot of people traipsing around for it to be "closed". Do all cemeteries close? (They never seemed to in Buffy, but that's another show entirely.) It has been a while since I saw the show, do they actually say that they came in after the cemetery was closed?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] Okay, replacing 49 with...
49) BFTB - Lois and Clark sneak into a cemetery after hours. Trespassing. I hate to play the devil's advocate, but are you sure? There sure seemed to be a lot of people traipsing around for it to be "closed". Do all cemeteries close? (They never seemed to in Buffy, but that's another show entirely.) It has been a while since I saw the show, do they actually say that they came in after the cemetery was closed? [/b]If it wasn't closed, why were they sneaking around and hiding from the guard...which got them thrown out after Clark supposedly stepped on a twig later on? And every cemetery that I know has certain "open" hours. From the script: LOIS and CLARK appear. They're sneaking, they're skulking, they're not supposed to be here. Lois is fine with this, Clark isn't. Then, later: LOIS Well, of course we got kicked out, and whose fault was that? I am not the one who stepped on the only dry twig in the entire cemetery just as that guard came back. So...I would argue that they were definitely trespassing by being there late at night.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: If it wasn't closed, why were they sneaking around and hiding from the guard...which got them thrown out after Clark supposedly stepped on a twig later on? And every cemetery that I know has certain "open" hours.
From the script:
LOIS and CLARK appear. They're sneaking, they're skulking, they're not supposed to be here. Lois is fine with this, Clark isn't.
Then, later:
LOIS Well, of course we got kicked out, and whose fault was that? I am not the one who stepped on the only dry twig in the entire cemetery just as that guard came back.
So...I would argue that they were definitely trespassing by being there late at night. Okay, you win. As I said, it's been a while since I watched that episode. Anyway, does Lois ever go anywhere when it is open?
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45) Clark flies without a permit or filing flight plans - the Pilot at the very least, possibly many more or all episodes. I'd expect the law doesn't really cover flying under your own power. He doesn't fall under any of the FAA categories as far as I can tell. The FAA didn't create a category for ultralights until the early 80s so until they create one for him he doesn't get regulated.
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Originally posted by dcarson: 45) Clark flies without a permit or filing flight plans - the Pilot at the very least, possibly many more or all episodes. I'd expect the law doesn't really cover flying under your own power. He doesn't fall under any of the FAA categories as far as I can tell. The FAA didn't create a category for ultralights until the early 80s so until they create one for him he doesn't get regulated. That didn't stop Pres. Elect Doe from having the FAA step on his toes though.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] If it wasn't closed, why were they sneaking around and hiding from the guard...which got them thrown out after Clark supposedly stepped on a twig later on? And every cemetery that I know has certain "open" hours.
From the script:
LOIS and CLARK appear. They're sneaking, they're skulking, they're not supposed to be here. Lois is fine with this, Clark isn't.
Then, later:
LOIS Well, of course we got kicked out, and whose fault was that? I am not the one who stepped on the only dry twig in the entire cemetery just as that guard came back.
So...I would argue that they were definitely trespassing by being there late at night. Okay, you win. As I said, it's been a while since I watched that episode. Anyway, does Lois ever go anywhere when it is open? [/b] Um...maybe just the Fudge Castle during normal operating hours.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Darth Michael: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Lois is currently a very bad girl...er... woman on the boards: . I think that was Battleground Earth, too, Michael, and it wasn't Clark, but Superman (Kal-El).
25) LotF: Lois. Solicitation. If she's not charging Kal-El for her services, is it really solicitation?
KAL-EL: And you'd think I'd get a little more services than kisses. LOIS: KAL-EL: Just saying, honey... Plus, they were in what would be recognized as New Krypton sovereign territory, and they seemed to be acting in accord with local law. On the other hand, if Trey had not interrupted, I think Lois would have given Kal more than kisses.
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50. Vatman:Superman, international travel avoiding customs and proper processing to France.
51. Ordinary People: Superman, transporting cheese into the US from Switzerland without declaring it at customs. Smuggling.
52. Witnessed: Clark, destruction of the bullet which is evidence of an attempted murder of Lois. Destruction of evidence.
53. Individual Responsibility:Lois and Clark breaking and entering into Newtrich's office.
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54:Wall of Sound, Lois: assault of the guard at the Stoke Club.
55.Lethal Weapon: Superman, excessive destruction of public property.
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Originally posted by John Lambert: 56. Vatman:Superman, international travel avoiding customs and proper processing to France I'm re-numbering this one, John, because we already had a #50. Next up #57
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57) Virtually Destroyed: Jimmy and Superman - computer hacking / illegal trespassing into someone's computer?
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58) Clark impersonates a Navy SEAL in It's a Small World After All. (Federal crime to impersonate a member of any military branch.)
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59. Madame Ex - Lois - improper disposal of a radioactive substance (the kryptonite bullet)
Edit: Again! You posted at the same time as me again! Changing my number again.
"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Originally posted by mrsMxyzptlk: 59. Madame Ex - Lois - improper disposal of a radioactive substance (the kryptonite bullet)
Edit: Again! You posted at the same time as me again! Changing my number again.
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60. Sex, Lies and Video Tape - Lois Lane - fraud, although she did not get the space at Chauteau Roberge for free, it does appear she got a discount by claiming to be working on a story, so this would clearly constitute fraud.
61. Ordianry People - Clark - cruelty to animals for heating up the sand in the path of the tiger. OK I doubt this would stick as a charge, but still.
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62. Battleground Earth - Lois Lane - assault on a government officer for her attack of the colonel who ordered the use of Kryptonite gas against Nor and Superman.
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63) Lois commits assault/battery by punching Deter out in Oedipus Wrecks.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 63) Lois commits assault/battery by punching Deter out in Oedipus Wrecks. Yes, but he deserved it.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] 63) Lois commits assault/battery by punching Deter out in Oedipus Wrecks. Yes, but he deserved it. [/b] You know, I almost included the same disclaimer when I posted that!
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] 63) Lois commits assault/battery by punching Deter out in Oedipus Wrecks. Yes, but he deserved it. [/b]More to the point of this discussion, Deter would never bring criminal charges. Lois would expose his use of hypnosis to try to get her to love him. Even know I am not sure any criminal charges could stick against him, and I think even less likely in the early 1990s, but even then it would probably get his license revoked.
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64. Lois - Chi of Steel - trespassing for her going into the men's club, and accessing data there.
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65) Clark steals/pockets the globe in Strange Visitor. Theft. (Yes, I know it's technically his and all...)
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VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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66) Martha attempts to pick Clark's lock in The Eyes Have It. Attempted breaking and entering.
67) Jimmy actually *does* pick Clark's lock in The Eyes Have It. Breaking and entering.
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68) Lois and Clark nose around the For Sale property in "Through a Glass, Darkly" without anyone being around/any realtor in the vicinity. Trespassing.
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69.The Source - Lois and Clark break into the offices of Virologic while posing as copy repair personnel and look through confidential files. I believe Bender even threatens to have them charged for this one.
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70 - The Dad Who Came in From the Cold - I am pretty sure the way Superman hides the briefcase at the start of the episode just after the agent is killed would technically be illegal, since the people looking for it are actually government agents.
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71. Seconds - Lois acting as Wanda Detroit assists Luthor in breaking into I think it was Star Labs and stealing some things. I am not sure this fully counts, because her she is so confused by her fugue state that she is essentially acting as a bad guy.
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74) Cat has sex with the copier repair guy in a public place (the copy room) in PML. Public Indecency. (I think, depending on the jurisdiction, she might have to register as a sex offender if charged.)
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72. Forget me Not - Lois uses a gun to try to kill Perry. True, she has been hypnotized into doing it by Dr. Mendenhall, but since we counted Superman knocking over parking meters, I think we can count this too.
73. Stop the Presses - Lois - destruction of government property, when she rams her Jeep Cherokee through the doors of the missile silo.
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Edited my above post to read as 74, since I was posting at the same time as John.
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74a. Clark looks into the Copy room and sees what Cat and the repair guy are doing. Especially since he responded to hearing noise in there, this may well count as voyeurism.
75. Ultrawoman - Lois uses her super power to look through Clarks clothing. This would probably be construed as some sort of invasion of privacy.
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76. Target: Jimmy Olsen - Clark with Lois's help impersonates a doctor, enters secure areas and disrupts the operation of a hospital. I am pretty sure such actions would run afoul of multiple laws.
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77) In UltraWoman, Lois tosses the park gate. We then here a car getting smashed (by the gate). Destruction of personal property.
78) In Never On Sunday, while in Jamaica as a green reporter, Clark ran the story of Hendricks/Baron Sunday and the gun running operation, presumably without checking all his sources. A background check later proves Hendricks was completely clean. Libel and defamation of character.
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77. Superman - People vs. Lois Lane - at least some of Superman's visits to Lois were clearly unauthorized and in violation of jail rules and procedures.
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78. All Shook Up - Assault, I guess - Jonathan with the baseball bat 79. All Shook Up - Martha's attempt to help Clark fly - not positive if it counts and it wasn't attempted murder, but I thought I'd put it out there anyway.
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I knew I should I have fixed this last night. Originally posted by John Lambert: 79. Superman - People vs. Lois Lane - at least some of Superman's visits to Lois were clearly unauthorized and in violation of jail rules and procedures. John, we already had a 77, so this is now 79. Tzigone wrote: 80. All Shook Up - Assault, I guess - Jonathan with the baseball bat 81. All Shook Up - Martha's attempt to help Clark fly - not positive if it counts and it wasn't attempted murder, but I thought I'd put it out there anyway. Tzigone, 78 was already taken, so I've renumbered your suggestions as well. Next up #82!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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82) GGGoH: Clark and Lois sneak into a quarantined or secure area (Irig's farm) - trespassing.
and in a cruel unjust world...
83) GGGoH: Clark attacking Trask in self-defense of him and his family - attack on a government agent.
84) Season's Greedings: Lois takes Space Rat (did we ever see her pay for it?) - theft
85) Toy Story: Lois grabs Superman from little boy - theft.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: 82) GGGoH: Clark and Lois sneak into a quarantined or secure area (Irig's farm) - trespassing.
and in a cruel unjust world...
83) GGGoH: Clark attacking Trask in self-defense of him and his family - attack on a government agent. WAS Trask really government though? Or just posing as one to get what he wanted?
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86) Lois and Clark break into Mayson's office in Resurrection. Breaking and entering.
87) Scardino also breaks into Mayson's office in Resurrection. AND he takes her diary. Breaking and entering with added theft.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: WAS Trask really government though? Or just posing as one to get what he wanted? Hence my disclaimer of a "in a cruel unjust world" . According to Gen. Newcomb, Bureau 39 was an actual agency, but one which operated outside government oversight (kind of like the NIA of DWCiftC), and that Trask was crazy. The question is: between Strange Visitor and GGGoH did the government officially dissolve B39 or just deny it ever existed. My guess, it was more of the latter than the former. And after Nor and the NK invaded I wouldn't be surprised if B39 got a bump in funding. Now, that would be an interesting sequel to MoS. Have Lex Luthor team up with a B39 type agency against Superman and the "threat" he poses.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] WAS Trask really government though? Or just posing as one to get what he wanted? Hence my disclaimer of a "in a cruel unjust world" . According to Gen. Newcomb, Bureau 39 was an actual agency, but one which operated outside government oversight (kind of like the NIA of DWCiftC), and that Trask was crazy. The question is: between Strange Visitor and GGGoH did the government officially dissolve B39 or just deny it ever existed. My guess, it was more of the latter than the former. And after Nor and the NK invaded I wouldn't be surprised if B39 got a bump in funding.
Now, that would be an interesting sequel to MoS. Have Lex Luthor team up with a B39 type agency against Superman and the "threat" he poses. [/b]Good point. I never really thought about it going either way. I just assumed B39 was a defunct agency by the time Superman arrived on the scene. Oh Lord. Lex teamed with B39. Scary! (Now is imagining Lex with B39 battling it out with the MiB for "control" over what happens to Superman.)
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: (Now is imagining Lex with B39 battling it out with the MiB for "control" over what happens to Superman.) That would be a great crossover fic!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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88. Shadow of a Doubt - Superman -needless disruption of a crime scene. When he first finds someone strangled by Hanson, he breaks open the door, but since he can hear heart-beats and things like that he should be able to tell the guy is dead, and this seems to be negligent intervention on his part.
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89) In the Pilot episode, Lois and Clark enter into what appears to be a condemned building to speak to Dr. Platt. (We see them ducking under the yellow cordoned-off tape.) Trespassing.
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90 - Lois - The Phoenix - failure to report a wanted felon in not immediately reporting Lex to the police when she recognizes him.
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91. ILTY - Clark takes the torn piece of the invisible suit when Helene shows Lois and Clark Alan's wrecked lab. Removal of evidence from a crime scene.
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92. IGACOY - Lois follows Toni Taylor into a condemned building. Trespassing.
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93. Never on a Sunday - Lois steals the needle from Baron Sunday's plane when they go to pay him a visit, robbery.
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94. We've Got A Lot to Talk about - Lois - she breaks into Joe the Blow's room and looks over his materials. Trespassing.
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95. (I don't think anyone has done this one yet) Bolt from the Blue - Clark - destruction of property when he destroys the tatoo artists disk so that Lois can not track down who the guy who got the tattoo was.
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96. IoM - Lois attacks Detective Reed to protect Eugene (and disarms her in the process). Assaulting a police officer.
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97. And the Answer is - Clark impersonates Sergean Zymack on the phone - impersonating a police officer is clearly a crime.
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98. In TOGoM, Perry is in possession of (and presumably drove to his house) an uninsured vehicle. True, it was on loan, but you still (in most places) cannot legally drive an vehicle that has no insurance on it.
99. In Operation: Blackout, Lois steals a military vehicle and uniforms. Theft.
100. In Wall Of Sound, Lois attacks the body guards at the Stoke Club. Assault.
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 87) Scardino also breaks into Mayson's office in Resurrection. AND he takes her diary. Breaking and entering with added theft. Sorry, I cannot accept this one as it isn't Lois or Clark (or main cast members) doing the crime. Scardino, I have to say for a government agent that was a bad thing you did, and without a warrant either. Because of this, are number is back to 99 crimes. We need one more!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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How about this as a fitting conclusion to the list? 100) Lois and Clark have stolen all of our hearts. Joy, Lynn
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 100. In Wall Of Sound, Lois attacks the body guards at the Stoke Club. Assault. 54) Wall of Sound: Lois - assault of the guard at the Stoke Club. Unfortunately, this is the same as #54. Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: How about this as a fitting conclusion to the list?
100) Lois and Clark have stolen all of our hearts. Sounds good, Lynn, but can I keep it for 101? 99. Foundling - Superman - Takes Globe from location of where kidnap victim Jack was found - Removal of evidence from a crime scene. 100. HiM - Lois and Clark listen in on Rourk & Harrison’s conversation at Apocalypse Consulting - Possession of eavesdropping devices and Eavesdropping *** We've reached 100 but there are still some episodes in which the Hottest Team in Town apparently did nothing illegal (gasp! ) S1: FlyHard BatP S2: The Prankster Return of the Prankster Tempus Fugitive Whine, Whine, Whine S3: Contact When Irish Eyes are Killing Don't Tug on Superman's Cape Chip Off the Old Clark SuperMann Home is Where the Hurt Is Tempus, Anyone? I Now Pronounce You... Big Girls Don't Fly S4: Soul Mates Brutal Youth Bob and Carol and Lois and Clark Ghosts Meet John Doe Lois and Clarks AKA Superman Faster than a Speeding Vixen I've Got You Under My Skin
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Lois and Clark Do 100 Crimes Challenge 1) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy (and then Clark) Trespassed into a secure area of EPRAD to take a look at the Messenger wreckage. 2) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy broke and entered the Messenger Hangar (using a lock pick). 3) The Pilot: Clark broke in (literally) and entered the Messenger Hangar, causing willful property damage to the Messenger hangar's door. 4) TOGOM: Superman dangles Dillinger upside-down from a building to gain information. (Attempted Murder in the 2nd degree?, Attempted Assault?, Menacing in the 3rd degree, Reckless Endangerment, etc.) [Let's not get into nit-picking whether or not this constitutes a crime since Dillinger is technically a clone. That's just a whole other can of worms. For the sake of this discussion, let's just say a clone life is equal to a human or Kryptonian.] 5) Ides of Metropolis: Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. ("Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree") 6) And the Answer Is: Clark (albeit using some super abilities) stole jewelry for Mazik. True, he was coerced into doing so, so the courts would probably go easy on him if he had actually been brought to trial, but he did, nevertheless, steal from a jewelry store. 7) Smart Kids: Clark stole a sample of Mentamide 5. 8) PML: Clark stole an atomizer of Revenge. 9) HiM: Lois committed B&E. 10) OP: Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. [Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there? ] 11) IoM: Hiding Eugene, an escaped convict. "aiding and abetting" (Harboring an escaped Felon) 12) DLW: Superman breaks Lois out of prison. Bad Superman, bad... 13) IoM: Lois takes away Eugene's gun from him (but we never see exactly what she does with it.) So, possession of stolen property / unregistered firearm / concealed weapon. 14) Madame Ex: Lois steals medical files from Dr. Heller's office - Theft. a) locking the temp in a room to do so – unlawful imprisonment 15) Church of Metropolis: Clark impersonates a police officer. 16) Neverending Battle: Superman bends Luthor's sword. Destruction of personal property. 17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment. 18) The Pilot: Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. Lois also planned on traveling without permission / (attempted) stowaway. 19 a) AtAI: Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath and then thaws her out again - Reckless endangerment and Promoting a Sucide Attempt b) AtAI: Lois suicide by superhero 20) Voice from the Past: Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath, and then thaws her back out. (Reckless Endangerment, AGAIN) 21) Swear to God: Clark destroys Lamont's (Leo Nunk's photographer) film using his vision do-hicky (x-ray vision). - – willful destruction of property [Although, being that nobody present except Lois knows that CK=SM and she'd never testify against her husband, I doubt this willful destruction of property would ever make it to court.] 22) The Pilot: Clark uses his heat vision to destroy the engine of the machinery that was about to demolish the theater – Vandalism? 23) TOGoM: Clark fakes his own death. (Granted, he finds a way to resurrect himself...) 24) Battleground Earth: Clark partakes in a duel to the death. - Attempted murder? [Or is there actually an anti-dueling law?] 25) Lord of the Flies: Lois. Solicitation. 26a) PML: Perry sexually harasses Rehaila. 26b) PML: Lois sexually harassed Clark. 27a) Lucky Leon: Superman: Stealing a nuclear device. 27b) Lucky Lean: Superman: Detonating a nuclear device in the atmosphere. I think we could formulate a treason/terrorism charge for either of these that gets him the death penalty in a federal court. 27c)* Lucky Leon: Superman hands over nukes to terrorists after stealing them from legit US soldiers. Terrorism . (Um, Clark, about that "checking your sources" thing you do as a reporter...) 28) Strange Visitor: Lois & Clark: Espionage 29) Family Hour: Lois and Clark – Kidnapping of Baby 30) Double Jeopardy – Clark/Superman: Aiding and Abetting 31) LotF / Battleground Earth: Superman hired (accepted services) of a prostitute 32a) Top Copy: Lois steals Mayson's beeper. Theft of personal property. 32b) Maybe some other charges related to locating the witness at the safe house? 33) TOGOM - Clark - removing evidence from a crime scene - the movie ticket stub that was on the floor at the bank. 34) TOGOM - Lois - illegal gambling 35) Pilot - Clark - international travel to China without a passport and avoiding Customs. 36) Metallo: Superman - accessory to John Corbin's murder ...? Or excessive use of force? 37) IoG: Superman - destruction of public property (specifically, parking meters). 38a) JSN: L&C may be considered to be trespassing when they enter Smiley's back room. 38b) Even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. So perhaps theft could be added to their rapidly-increasing rap sheet. 39) Requiem: Breaking and entering Menken's Gym (specifically Dr. Sam Lane’s medical office). 40) JSN: Lois and Clark took the torn page from the dead woman's shoe (Janet?). Withholding / removing evidence from a murder scene. 41)* Operation Blackout: Impersonating US soldiers - both Lois and Clark. (Federal crime to impersonate a decorated soldier.) 42)* MoSB: Clark uses super speed to be "Superman getting out the shower". Contempt of court, right? Since he broke his promise to not use super abilities. (And this seconds *after* he catches himself about to heat vision up some tea.) 43)* Operation Blackout: Lois and Clark - Trespassing on government land (specifically Fort Truman). 44) HoL: Clark, Jimmy, and Perry - harboring an escaped Juvenile Detention Center prisoner (Jack). 45) The Pilot: Clark flies without a permit or filing flight plans - at the very least, possibly many more or all episodes. 46) The Rival: Lois and Clark break into Carpenter's office. Breaking and entering / trespassing / computer trespass 47) Individual Responsibility: Superman allows the payroll check thieves to escape. Aiding and abetting. 48) Individual Responsibility: Superman does nothing to prevent the kidnap of Perry White in. Aiding and abetting. 49)* BFTB - Lois and Clark sneak into a cemetery after hours. Trespassing. 50) MoSB: Superman refuses to aid a prisoner getting beaten by another while in jail. (In some jurisdictions this falls under the Good Samaritan "duty to assist" laws.) 51) Ordinary People: Superman, transporting cheese into the US from Switzerland without declaring it at customs. Smuggling. 52) Witness: Clark, destruction of the bullet which is evidence of an attempted murder of Lois. Destruction of evidence. 53) Individual Responsibility: Lois and Clark breaking and entering into Newtrich's office. 54) Wall of Sound: Lois - assault of the guard at the Stoke Club. 55) Lethal Weapon: Superman, excessive destruction of public property. 56)* Vatman: Superman, international travel avoiding customs and proper processing to France. 57) Virtually Destroyed: Jimmy and Superman - computer trespass 58) It's a Small World After All - Clark impersonates a Navy SEAL (Federal crime to impersonate a member of any military branch.) 59) Madame Ex - Lois - improper disposal of a radioactive substance (the kryptonite bullet) 60) Sex, Lies and Video Tape - Lois Lane - Lois got a discount at Chateau Roberge by claiming to be working on a story, even though she wasn’t planning on writing one - fraud. 61) Ordinary People - Clark - heated up the sand in the path of the tiger - cruelty to animals 62) Battleground Earth - Lois Lane - assault on a government officer for her attack of the colonel who ordered the use of Kryptonite gas against Nor and Superman. 63) Oedipus Wrecks: Lois commits assault/battery by punching Deter out. 64) Chi of Steel: Lois – entered the men's club and accessing data there - trespassing 65) Strange Visitor: Clark steals/pockets the globe. Theft. (Yes, I know it's technically his and all...) 66) The Eyes Have It : Martha attempts to pick Clark's lock. Attempted breaking and entering. 67) The Eyes Have It: Jimmy actually *does* pick Clark's lock. Breaking and entering. 68) Through a Glass, Darkly: Lois and Clark nose around the For Sale property, without anyone being around/any realtor in the vicinity. Trespassing. 69) The Source: Lois and Clark break into the offices of Virologic while posing as copy repair personnel and look through confidential files. – Trespassing / breaking & entering [I believe Bender even threatens to have them charged for this one.] 70) The Dad Who Came in From the Cold: Superman hides the briefcase at the start of the episode just after the agent is killed would technically be illegal, since the people looking for it are actually government agents – removal of evidence from a crime scene / murder 71) Seconds: Lois acting as Wanda Detroit assists Luthor in breaking into Star Labs and stealing some things – breaking and entering / theft 72) Forget me Not: Lois uses a gun to try to kill Perry. – attempted murder [True, she has been hypnotized into doing it by Dr. Mendenhall] 73) Stop the Presses: Lois - rams her Jeep Cherokee through the doors of the missile silo - destruction of government property. 74) PML: Cat has sex with the copier repair guy in a public place (the copy room). Public Indecency / Lewdness. (depending on the jurisdiction, she might have to register as a sex offender if charged.) 74a) Clark looks into the Copy room and sees what Cat and the repair guy are doing. Especially since he responded to hearing noise in there, this may well count as voyeurism. 75) Ultra Woman: Lois uses her super power to look through Clarks clothing. – violation of privacy? 76) Target: Jimmy Olsen: Clark with Lois's help impersonates a doctor, enters secure areas and disrupts the operation of a hospital. – criminal impersonation and trespassing 77) Ultra Woman: Lois tosses the park gate. We then here a car getting smashed (by the gate). Destruction of personal property. 78) Never On Sunday: while in Jamaica as a green reporter, Clark ran the story of Hendricks/Baron Sunday and the gun running operation, presumably without checking all his sources. A background check later proves Hendricks was completely clean. Libel and defamation of character. 79)* People vs. Lois Lane: some of Superman's visits to Lois were clearly unauthorized and in violation of jail rules and procedures – breaking and entering 80)* All Shook Up - Jonathan hits Clark with the baseball bat – (attempted) Assault 81)* All Shook Up - Martha's attempt to help Clark fly - attempted murder. 82) GGGoH: Clark and Lois sneak into a quarantined or secure area (Irig's farm) - trespassing. 83) GGGoH: Clark attacking Trask in self-defense of him and his family - attack on a government agent. 84) Season's Greedings: Lois takes Space Rat (did we ever see her pay for it?) - theft 85) Toy Story: Lois grabs Superman from little boy - theft. 86) Resurrection: Lois and Clark break into Mayson's office in Resurrection. Breaking and entering. 87)* Shadow of a Doubt - Superman -When he first finds someone strangled by Hanson, he breaks open the door, but since he can hear heart-beats and things like that he should be able to tell the guy is dead, and this seems to be negligent intervention on his part - needless disruption of a crime scene 88) the Pilot - Lois and Clark enter into what appears to be a condemned building to speak to Dr. Platt. (We see them ducking under the yellow cordoned-off tape.) Trespassing. 89)* The Phoenix – Lois does not immediately report Lex to the police when she recognizes him - aiding and abetting / failures to report a wanted felon 90)* ILTY - Clark takes the torn piece of the invisible suit when Helene shows Lois and Clark Alan's wrecked lab. Removal of evidence from a crime scene. 91)* IGACOY - Lois follows Toni Taylor into a condemned building. Trespassing. 92)* Never on a Sunday - Lois steals the needle from Baron Sunday's plane when they go to pay him a visit - Theft*. (Robbery only counts if force is used) 93)* We've Got A Lot to Talk about - Lois - she breaks into Joe the Blow's room and looks over his materials. Trespassing. 94)* Bolt from the Blue - Clark - destruction of property when he destroys the tattoo artists disk so that Lois cannot track down who the guy who got the tattoo was. 95)* IoM - Lois attacks Detective Reed to protect Eugene (and disarms her in the process). Assaulting a police officer. 96)* And the Answer is - Clark impersonates Sergeant Zymack on the phone - impersonating a police officer is clearly a crime. 97)* TOGoM - Perry is in possession of (and presumably drove to his house) an uninsured vehicle. True, it was on loan, but you still (in most places) cannot legally drive an vehicle that has no insurance on it. 98)* In Operation: Blackout, Lois steals a military vehicle and uniforms. Theft. 99)* Foundling - Superman - Takes Globe from location of where kidnap victim Jack was found - Removal of evidence from a crime scene. 100)* HiM - Lois and Clark listen in on Rourk & Harrison’s conversation at Apocalypse Consulting – Eavesdropping 101)* All Episodes: Lois and Clark stole our hearts. *Renumbered or otherwise changed by Editor. ***** I know that there are more crimes out there, so if you can think of them, keep adding them to the list. Thanks!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Lois and Clark's Crimes – By Episode
SEASON ONE:
The Pilot 1) Lois and Jimmy (and then Clark) went into a secure area of EPRAD to take a look at the Messenger wreckage - Trespassed 2) Lois and Jimmy used a lock pick to enter the Messenger Hangar – Breaking and Entering 3) Clark broke in (literally) and entered the Messenger Hangar - willful property damage to the Messenger hangar's door. 4) Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. 5) Lois also planned on traveling without permission / (attempted) stowaway. 6) Clark uses his heat vision to destroy the engine of the machinery that was about to demolish the theater – Vandalism 7) Clark - international travel to China without a passport and avoiding Customs. 8) Clark flies without a permit or filing flight plans - at the very least, possibly many more or all episodes. 9) Lois and Clark enter into what appears to be a condemned building to speak to Dr. Platt. (We see them ducking under the yellow cordoned-off tape.) Trespassing
Strange Visitor 1) Lois & Clark – Espionage 2) Clark steals/pockets the globe. Theft. (Yes, I know it's technically his and all...)
Neverending Battle 1) Superman bends Luthor's sword - Destruction of personal property. 2) Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment.
I’m Looking Through You 1) Clark takes the torn piece of the invisible suit when Helene shows Lois and Clark Alan's wrecked lab. Removal of evidence from a crime scene.
Requiem for a Superhero 1) Breaking and entering Menken's Gym (specifically Dr. Sam Lane’s medical office).
I’ve Got A Crush on You 1) Lois follows Toni Taylor into a condemned building. Trespassing.
Smart Kids 1) Clark stole a sample of Mentamide 5 - Theft
Green, Green Glow of Home 1) Clark and Lois sneak into a quarantined or secure area (Irig's farm) - trespassing. 2) Clark attacking Trask in self-defense of him and his family - attack on a government agent.
Man of Steel Bars 1) Clark uses super speed to be "Superman getting out the shower" - Contempt of court [Since he broke his promise to not use super abilities. (And this seconds *after* he catches himself about to heat vision up some tea.)] 2) Superman refuses to aid a prisoner getting beaten by another while in jail. (In some jurisdictions this falls under the Good Samaritan "duty to assist" laws.)
Pheromone, My Lovely 1) Clark stole an atomizer of Revenge - Theft 2) Perry sexually harasses Rehaila. a. Lois sexually harassed Clark. 3) Cat has sex with the copier repair guy in a public place (the copy room). Public Indecency / Lewdness. (depending on the jurisdiction, she might have to register as a sex offender if charged.) a. Clark looks into the Copy room and sees what Cat and the repair guy are doing. Especially since he responded to hearing noise in there, this may well count as voyeurism.
Honeymoon in Metropolis 1) Lois committed B&E at the Thaddeus Rourke’s Apocalypse Consulting offices. 2) Lois and Clark listen in on Rourk & Harrison’s conversation at Apocalypse Consulting - Eavesdropping
All Shook Up 1) Jonathan hits Clark with the baseball bat – (attempted) Assault 2) Martha's attempt to help Clark fly - attempted murder.
Witness 1) Clark, destruction of the bullet which is evidence of an attempted murder of Lois. Destruction of evidence.
Illusions of Grandeur 1) Superman - destruction of public property (specifically, parking meters).
Ides of Metropolis 1) Hiding Eugene, an escaped convict. "aiding and abetting" (Harboring an escaped Felon) 2) Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. ("Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree") 3) Lois takes away Eugene's gun from him - possession of stolen property / unregistered firearm / concealed weapon. 4) Lois attacks Detective Reed to protect Eugene (and disarms her in the process). Assaulting a police officer.
Foundling 1) Superman - Takes Globe from location of where kidnap victim Jack was found - Removal of evidence from a crime scene.
The Rival 1) Lois and Clark break into Carpenter's office. Breaking and entering / trespassing / computer trespass
Vatman 1) Superman, international travel avoiding customs and proper processing to France.
FlyHard
Barbarians at the Planet
House of Luthor 1) Clark, Jimmy, and Perry - harboring an escaped Juvenile Detention Center prisoner (Jack).
***
SEASON TWO:
Madame Ex 1) Lois steals medical files from Dr. Heller's office - Theft. a. locks the temp in a room to do so – unlawful imprisionment 2) Lois - improper disposal of a radioactive substance (the kryptonite bullet)
Wall of Sound 1) Lois - assault of the guard at the Stoke Club.
The Source 1) Lois and Clark break into the offices of Virologic while posing as copy repair personnel and look through confidential files. Trespassing / breaking & entering [I believe Bender even threatens to have them charged for this one.]
The Prankster
Church of Metropolis 1) Clark / Superman impersonates a police officer
Operation Blackout 1) Lois and Clark - Impersonating US soldiers (Federal crime to impersonate a decorated soldier.) 2) Lois and Clark – broke into Fort Truman - Trespassing on government land 3) Lois steals a military vehicle and uniforms - Theft.
That Old Gang Of Mine 1) Superman dangles Dillinger upside-down from a building to gain information. (Attempted Murder in the 2nd degree?, Attempted Assault?, Menacing in the 3rd degree, Reckless Endangerment, etc.) [Let's not get into nit-picking whether or not this constitutes a crime since Dillinger is technically a clone. That's just a whole other can of worms. For the sake of this discussion, let's just say a clone life is equal to a human or Kryptonian.] 2) Clark fakes his own death. (Granted, he finds a way to resurrect himself...) 3) Clark takes the movie ticket stub that was on the floor at the bank – removal of evidence from a crime scene 4) Lois - illegal gambling 5) Perry is in possession of (and presumably drove to his house) an uninsured vehicle. True, it was on loan, but you still (in most places) cannot legally drive an vehicle that has no insurance on it.
Bolt from the Blue 1) Lois and Clark sneak into a cemetery after hours. Trespassing. 2) Clark destroys the tatoo artists disk so that Lois can not track down who the guy who got the tattoo was - destruction of property
Season’s Greedings 1) Lois takes Space Rat (did we ever see her pay for it?) - theft
Metallo 1) Superman - accessory to John Corbin's murder ...? Or excessive use of force?
Chi of Steel 1) Lois - trespassing for her going into the men's club, and accessing data there.
The Eyes Have It 1) Martha attempts to pick Clark's lock. Attempted breaking and entering. 2) Jimmy actually *does* pick Clark's lock. Breaking and entering.
The Phoenix 1) Lois does not immediately report Lex to the police when she recognizes him - aiding and abetting / failures to report a wanted felon
Top Copy 1) Lois steals Mayson's beeper. Theft of personal property. a. Maybe some other charges related to locating the witness at the safe house?
Return of the Prankster
Lucky Leon 1) Superman: Stealing a nuclear device. 2) Superman: Detonating a nuclear device in the atmosphere. [I think we could formulate a treason/terrorism charge for either of these that gets him the death penalty in a federal court.] 3) Superman hands over nukes to terrorists after stealing them from legit US soldiers. Terrorism . (Um, Clark, about that "checking your sources" thing you do as a reporter...)
Resurrection 1) Lois and Clark break into Mayson's office in Resurrection. Breaking and entering.
Tempus Fugitive
Target: Jimmy Olsen 1) Clark with Lois's help impersonates a doctor, enters secure areas and disrupts the operation of a hospital. criminal impersonation and trespassing
Individual Responsibility 1) Lois and Clark breaking and entering into Newtrich's office. 2) Superman allows the payroll check thieves to escape. Aiding and abetting. 3) Superman does nothing to prevent the kidnap of Perry White in. Aiding and abetting.
Whine, Whine, Whine
And the Answer Is 1) Clark stole jewelry for Mazik. True, he was coerced into doing so, so the courts would probably go easy on him if he had actually been brought to trial, but he did, nevertheless, steal from a jewelry store. – Breaking & Entering, Theft. 2) Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath and then thaws her out again -Reckless endangerment and Promoting a Sucide Attempt a. Lois suicide by superhero 3) Clark impersonates Sergeant Zymack on the phone - impersonating a police officer
***   SEASON THREE:
…We have a Lot to Talk About 1) Lois - she breaks into Joe the Blow's room and looks over his materials. Trespassing.
Ordinary People 1) Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. - [Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there? ] 2) Clark - cruelty to animals for heating up the sand in the path of the tiger. 3) Superman, transporting cheese into the US from Switzerland without declaring it at customs. Smuggling. a. Same with Pearl from Japan?
Contact
When Irish Eyes are Killing
Just Say Noah 1) L&C may be considered to be trespassing when they enter Smiley's back room. 2) L&C - Even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. - theft 3) Lois and Clark took the torn page from the dead woman's shoe (Janet?). Withholding / removing evidence from a murder scene.
Don’t Tug on Superman’s Cape
Ultra Woman 1) Lois uses her super power to look through Clarks clothing - violation of privacy. 2) Lois tosses the park gate. We then here a car getting smashed (by the gate). Destruction of personal property.
Chip Off the Old Clark
SuperMann
Virtually Destroyed 1) Jimmy and Superman - computer trespass
Home is Where the Hurt Is
Never on a Sunday 1) while in Jamaica as a green reporter, Clark ran the story of Hendricks/Baron Sunday and the gun running operation, presumably without checking all his sources. A background check later proves Hendricks was completely clean. Libel and defamation of character 2) Lois steals the needle from Baron Sunday's plane when they go to pay him a visit, robbery.
The Dad who Came in from the Cold 1) Superman hides the briefcase at the start of the episode just after the agent is killed would technically be illegal, since the people looking for it are actually government agents - removal of evidence from a crime scene / murder
Tempus Anyone?
I now Pronounce you…
Double Jeopardy 1) Clark: Adding and Abetting
Seconds 1) Lois acting as Wanda Detroit assists Luthor in breaking into Star Labs and stealing some things. - breaking and entering / theft
Forget Me Not 1) Lois uses a gun to try to kill Perry - attempted murder [True, she has been hypnotized into doing it by Dr. Mendenhall].
Oedipus Wrecks 1) Lois punched Deter out - assault / battery
It's a Small World After All 1) Clark impersonates a Navy SEAL. (Federal crime to impersonate a member of any military branch.)
Through a Glass Darkly 1) Lois and Clark nose around the For Sale property, without anyone being around/any realtor in the vicinity. Trespassing.
Big Girls Don’t Fly
***   SEASON FOUR:
Lord of the Flies 1) Lois - Solicitation. 2) Superman hired (accepted services) of a prostitute
Battleground Earth 1) Clark partakes in a duel to the death. - Attempted murder? [Or is there actually an anti-dueling paragraph?] 2) Lois Lane - attacked the colonel who ordered the use of Kryptonite gas against Nor and Superman - assault on a government officer
Swear to God 1) Clark destroys Lamont's (Leo Nunk's photographer) film using his vision do-hicky (x-ray vision). – willful destruction of property. [Although, being that nobody present except Lois knows that CK=SM and she'd never testify against her husband, I doubt this willful destruction of property would ever make it to court.]
Soul Mates
Brutal Youth
People Vs. Lois Lane 1) Some of Superman's visits to Lois were clearly unauthorized and in violation of jail rules and procedures – breaking and entering? / trespass?
Dead Lois Walking 1) Superman breaks Lois out of prison. [Bad Superman, bad...] – Aiding and Abetting, Harboring a fugitive 2) Lois leaves prison – escape
Bob and Carol and Lois and Clark
Ghosts
Stop the Presses 1) Lois - rams her Jeep Cherokee through the doors of the missile silo - destruction of government property Lethal Weapon 1) Superman, excessive destruction of public property.
Sex, Lies and Video Tape 1) Lois Lane - Lois got a discount at Chateau Roberge by claiming to be working on a story, even though she wasn’t planning on writing one - fraud.
Meet John Doe
Lois and Clarks
AKA Superman
Faster than a Speeding Vixen
Shadow of a Doubt 1) Superman - needless disruption of a crime scene. When he first finds someone strangled by Hanson, he breaks open the door, but since he can hear heart-beats and things like that he should be able to tell the guy is dead, and this seems to be negligent intervention on his part.
Voice from the Past 1) Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath, and then thaws her back out. - Reckless Endangerment, AGAIN
I’ve Got you Under My Skin
Toy Story 1) Lois grabs Superman from little boy - theft.
Family Hour 1) Lois and Clark – Kidnapping of Baby
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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102. AKA Superman - Lois and Clark - leaving restaurant without paying. True, they leave Jimmy there, but still.
103. "Soul Mates" - Clark (as Sir Charles), assults his liege Lord, Baron Tempos. This is clearly illegal where he does it.
John Pack Lambert
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104. Lucky Leon - Lois - she poses as Mayson Drake on the phone, I am sure impersonating someone in the Districts Attorney's office is a crime.
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Originally posted by John Lambert: 104. Lucky Leon - Lois - she poses as Mayson Drake on the phone, I am sure impersonating someone in the Districts Attorney's office is a crime. Good one. I forgot about that one.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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In the Pilot:
Clark enters into a condemned building (the theater). Trespassing.
Also, I can't remember which ep it is, but Lois tears a page out of a public phonebook to get an address. Destruction of public property.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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I think the tearing the page out of the phone book was in "Madame X", just after Clark said he hated it when people did that.
John Pack Lambert
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That might be it, John! Thanks!
Also, I just realized that the gate thing in Ultra Woman should also include destruction of public property since Lois destroyed the gate, not just the random car we hear being smashed.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Well...our dashing duo has extensive rap sheets. I'm impressed.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher "Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: In the Pilot:
Clark enters into a condemned building (the theater). Trespassing. Already on the list, DC. (That's why I made a list by episode as well, because it's easier to check that way.) Funny thing is, that was also your suggestion: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 89) In the Pilot episode, Lois and Clark enter into what appears to be a condemned building to speak to Dr. Platt. (We see them ducking under the yellow cordoned-off tape.) Trespassing. This one has been re-numbered as #88.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Yeah, I remember submitting the one for where Dr. Platt was living. But the theatre was a separate building and occurrence. So Clark trespassed at two different sites.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: Yeah, I remember submitting the one for where Dr. Platt was living. But the theatre was a separate building and occurrence. So Clark trespassed at two different sites. Where is my brain today??? You're totally right. My apologies.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] Yeah, I remember submitting the one for where Dr. Platt was living. But the theatre was a separate building and occurrence. So Clark trespassed at two different sites. Where is my brain today??? You're totally right. My apologies. [/b]It might have went on vacation with mine. I told my husband that I feel like my brain in cheese - and not even the good stuff. The crummy spray-in-a-can kind.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: It might have went on vacation with mine. I told my husband that I feel like my brain in cheese - and not even the good stuff. The crummy spray-in-a-can kind. But you've got a good excuse, twin babies. My kids are both at school.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] It might have went on vacation with mine. I told my husband that I feel like my brain in cheese - and not even the good stuff. The crummy spray-in-a-can kind. But you've got a good excuse, twin babies. My kids are both at school. [/b] I'll take that excuse and run with it!
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: Originally posted by VirginiaR: [b] But you've got a good excuse, twin babies. My kids are both at school. I'll take that excuse and run with it! [/b]I'm sure that'll be one you'll be able to milk for many a year. Twin babies. Twin toddlers. Twin preschoolers. Twin...
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by VirginiaR: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by VirginiaR: <strong> But you've got a good excuse, twin babies. My kids are both at school.
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From Chip Off The Old Clark:
Superman wraps a sign post around Anonymous. Destruction of public property.
Superman tears the door off its hinges when in the chemical plant. Destruction of private property.
Lois (and Superman!) enter into the closed chemical plant. (We clearly see "Closed" signs on the closed gates when Superman is confronting Anonymous.) Trespassing.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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In 'Church of Metropolis', Superman smashes the monitor(s) in the secret lair after tracking the bug they tried to plant on Clark back to it. Yeah, they're bad guys, but it's still destruction of private property. He should also get a slap on the wrist for the punny, "Now stop bugging people!" while smashing it. :p
ETA: He also puts his fist through the television in the Planet's newsroom as Superman in 'Don't Tug on Superman's Cape' after he thinks Bad Brain zapped Lois into a pile of ashes.
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right. Ides of Metropolis
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a. I think the fact that Martha and Jonathan did not warn the authorities about a flying object falling in a field and moreover keeping it, and adopting a baby without proper verification by social services. b. They went to Shuster field (trespassing).
When Irish eyes are killing : Superman involuntarily killed Patrick with his laser vision. MJD : Clark in Superman attacks John Doe, got him by the throat (assault). DLW : a. Clark protects an escaped felon, Lois after helping her to break of jail. b. Well, not sure that can be considered a theft, but he takes from the attorney Clemmens the case found when Lois "pulled the trigger" that should have been with the other incriminating evidence.
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Originally posted by Annalina19: When Irish eyes are killing : Superman involuntarily killed Patrick with his laser vision. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. I thought Patrick just disappeared into a mist.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Maybe, I grant you that we are not sure he died. : )
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Okay, I'm trying to clean this up to send to Labrat over in the Archives. While going through the list one more time, I had a few questions (Darth Michael, the new boards really don't like you. It once more deleted some of your comments. Good thing I had gotten most everything prior to the move, except the last few suggestion). 30: Double Jeopardy: Clark: Adding and Abetting Refresh my memory here, Michael. Aiding and Abetting of what? 50) Superman refuses to aid a prisoner getting beaten by another while in jail in MoSB. (In some jurisdictions this falls under the Good Samaritan "duty to assist" laws.) Personal note: Superman isn't allowed to use his powers, and if he were human getting involved would just get himself hurt, plus the guy deserved it. I doubt any jury would convict him. 51. Ordinary People: Superman, transporting cheese into the US from Switzerland without declaring it at customs. Smuggling. Just double checking my facts here, but wasn't it Cheese from France, Chocolate from Switzerland, and a Pearl from Japan? (Snow from the mountains probably doesn't need to go through customs, does it?) In 'Church of Metropolis', Superman smashes the monitor(s) in the secret lair after tracking the bug they tried to plant on Clark back to it. Yeah, they're bad guys, but it's still destruction of private property. He should also get a slap on the wrist for the punny, "Now stop bugging people!" while smashing it. I don't think that's a criminal offense. We'd have to check with Lynn SM, our resident Pun Police. a. I think the fact that Martha and Jonathan did not warn the authorities about a flying object falling in a field and moreover keeping it, and adopting a baby without proper verification by social services. b. They went to Shuster field (trespassing). Good ones! When Irish eyes are killing : Superman involuntarily killed Patrick with his laser vision. Although without a body we can’t be too sure that Patrick is really dead, or just Voldermorted. MJD : Clark in Superman attacks John Doe, got him by the throat (assault). Was this before or after John Doe is President-Elect? DLW : a. Clark protects an escaped felon, Lois after helping her to break of jail. That one is already on the list. b. Well, not sure that can be considered a theft, but he takes from the attorney Clemmens the case found when Lois "pulled the trigger" that should have been with the other incriminating evidence. I'll count it. We're WAY past 100, but there were a few more episodes with no crimes listed. Does anyone know of anything else we can include? S1 FlyHardBarbarians at the PlanetS2 The PranksterReturn of the PranksterWhine, Whine, WhineS3 ContactHome is Where the Hurt IsTempus Anyone?I now Pronounce you…Big Girls Don’t FlyS4 Brutal YouthBob and Carol and Lois and ClarkGhostsFaster than a Speeding VixenI’ve Got you Under My Skin
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Virginia - I was thinking along the lines of just holding the guy back or shielding the other guy with his body. No powers involved.
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Virginia - I was thinking along the lines of just holding the guy back or shielding the other guy with his body. No powers involved. I don't know. That guy was pretty big. I'm sure it would take super strength to hold him and invulnerability, should he get struck himself. (I don't know how the judge expected him not to use any of THOSE powers.) EDIT: But don't worry, it's still on the list. Just a personal note.
Last edited by VirginiaR; 07/28/14 12:11 AM. Reason: Added note.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Virginia - I was thinking along the lines of just holding the guy back or shielding the other guy with his body. No powers involved. I don't know. That guy was pretty big. I'm sure it would take super strength to hold him and invulnerability, should he get struck himself. (I don't know how the judge expected him not to use any of THOSE powers.) EDIT: But don't worry, it's still on the list. Just a personal note. Yeah, I've never been sure if stuff like the invulnerability or super hearing (let's face it, half the time it's involuntary) was part of the no powers ban, or if it was big stuff like flying and melting stuff with his eyes.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Okay, the top 100 list has been sent to Labrat! One more items crossed off my To-Do List! I'm still collecting crimes (by episode), so if you can think of any more, let me know. Here's what I've got so far: (Sorry so messy.) SEASON ONE:The Pilot1) Lois and Jimmy (and then Clark) went into a secure area of EPRAD to take a look at the Messenger wreckage - Trespassed 2) Lois and Jimmy used a lock pick to enter the Messenger Hangar – Breaking and Entering 3) Clark broke in (literally) and entered the Messenger Hangar - willful property damage to the Messenger hangar's door. 4) Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. a.) Superman damages the Prometheus Shuttle to get inside – vandalism (of course he fixes it later, but still…) 5) Lois also planned on traveling without permission / (attempted) stowaway. 6) Clark uses his heat vision to destroy the engine of the machinery that was about to demolish the theater – Vandalism a.) Then he enters the condemned building - trespassing 7) Clark - international travel to China without a passport and avoiding Customs. 8) Clark flies without a permit or filing flight plans - at the very least, possibly many more or all episodes. 9) Lois and Clark enter into what appears to be a condemned building to speak to Dr. Platt. (We see them ducking under the yellow cordoned-off tape.) Trespassing 10) Clark becomes Superman – Fraud, creation of a false persona in order to deceive people Strange Visitor1) Lois & Clark break into secret government warehouse – Espionage 2) Clark steals/pockets the globe. Theft. (Yes, I know it's technically his and all...) Neverending Battle1) Superman bends Luthor's sword - Destruction of personal property. 2) Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment. I’m Looking Through You1) Clark takes the torn piece of the invisible suit when Helene shows Lois and Clark Alan's wrecked lab. Removal of evidence from a crime scene. Requiem for a Superhero1) Lois and Clark - Dr. Sam Lane’s medical office – Breaking and Entering. I’ve Got A Crush on You1) Lois follows Toni Taylor into a condemned building. Trespassing. Smart Kids1) Clark stole a sample of Mentamide 5 - Theft Green, Green Glow of Home1) Clark and Lois sneak into a quarantined or secure area (Irig's farm) - trespassing. 2) Clark attacking Trask in self-defense of him and his family - attack on a government agent. Man of Steel Bars1) Clark uses super speed to be "Superman getting out the shower" - Contempt of court [Since he broke his promise to not use super abilities. (And this seconds *after* he catches himself about to heat vision up some tea.)] 2) Superman refuses to aid a prisoner getting beaten by another while in jail. (In some jurisdictions this falls under the Good Samaritan "duty to assist" laws.) Pheromone, My Lovely1) Clark stole an atomizer of Revenge - Theft 2) Perry sexually harasses Rehaila. b.) Lois sexually harassed Clark. 3) Cat has sex with the copier repair guy in a public place (the copy room). Public Indecency / Lewdness. (depending on the jurisdiction, she might have to register as a sex offender if charged.) b.) Clark looks into the Copy room and sees what Cat and the repair guy are doing. Especially since he responded to hearing noise in there, this may well count as voyeurism. 4) Jimmy stalks April Stephens. Honeymoon in Metropolis1) Lois uses lock picks to enter Thaddeus Rourke’s Apocalypse Consulting offices – Breaking and Entering 2) Lois and Clark listen in on Rourk & Harrison’s conversation at Apocalypse Consulting –Eavesdropping All Shook Up1) Jonathan hits Clark with the baseball bat – (attempted) Assault 2) Martha's attempt to help Clark fly - attempted murder. Witness1) Clark, destruction of the bullet which is evidence of an attempted murder of Lois - Destruction of evidence. 2) Clark – roughing up skateboarder – assault? Illusions of Grandeur1) Superman - destruction of public property (specifically, parking meters). 2) Superman – locking Lois in the tank and filling it with water – attempted murder Ides of Metropolis1) Hiding Eugene, an escaped convict. - Aiding and abetting, Harboring an escaped Felon. 2) Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. - "Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree" 3) Lois takes away Eugene's gun from him - possession of stolen property / unregistered firearm / concealed weapon. 4) Lois attacks Detective Reed to protect Eugene (and disarms her in the process). - Assaulting a police officer. Foundling1) Superman - Takes Globe from location of where kidnap victim Jack was found - Removal of evidence from a crime scene. 2) Superman – damage to Luthor’s secure vault – Breaking and Entering (literally). The Rival1) Lois and Clark break into Carpenter's office. Breaking and entering / trespassing / computer trespass Vatman1) Superman, international travel avoiding customs and proper processing to France. FlyHardBarbarians at the PlanetHouse of Luthor1) Clark, Jimmy, and Perry - harboring an escaped Juvenile Detention Center prisoner (Jack). ****   SEASON TWO:Madame Ex1) Lois steals medical files from Dr. Heller's office - Theft. b.) locks the temp in a room to do so – unlawful imprisionment 2) Lois - improper disposal of a radioactive substance (the kryptonite bullet) 3) Lois destruction of phone book – vandalism. Wall of Sound1) Lois - assault of the guard at the Stoke Club. The Source1) Lois and Clark break into the offices of Virologic while posing as copy repair personnel and look through confidential files. Trespassing / breaking & entering [I believe Bender even threatens to have them charged for this one.] The PranksterChurch of Metropolis1) Clark / Superman impersonates a police officer 2) Superman smashes monitor(s) in the secret lair after tracking the bug they tried to plant on Clark back to it. Yeah, they're bad guys, but it's still destruction of private property. Operation Blackout1) Lois and Clark - Impersonating US soldiers - Federal crime to impersonate a decorated soldier. 2) Lois and Clark – broke into Fort Truman - Trespassing on government land 3) Lois steals a military vehicle and uniforms - Theft. That Old Gang Of Mine1) Superman dangles Dillinger upside-down from a building to gain information.- Attempted Murder in the 2nd degree, Attempted Assault, Menacing in the 3rd degree, Reckless Endangerment, etc. [Let's not get into nit-picking whether or not this constitutes a crime since Dillinger is technically a clone. That's just a whole other can of worms. For the sake of this discussion, let's just say a clone life is equal to a human or Kryptonian.] 2) Clark fakes his own death. (Granted, he finds a way to resurrect himself...) 3) Clark takes the movie ticket stub that was on the floor at the bank – removal of evidence from a crime scene 4) Lois - illegal gambling 5) Perry is in possession of (and presumably drove to his house) an uninsured vehicle. True, it was on loan, but you still (in most places) cannot legally drive an vehicle that has no insurance on it. Bolt from the Blue1) Lois and Clark sneak into a cemetery after hours. Trespassing. 2) Clark destroys the tatoo artists disk so that Lois can not track down who the guy who got the tattoo was - destruction of property Season’s Greedings1) Lois takes Space Rat (did we ever see her pay for it?) - theft Metallo1) Superman - accessory to John Corbin's murder ...? Or excessive use of force? Chi of Steel1) Lois - trespassing for her going into the men's club, and accessing data there. The Eyes Have It1) Martha attempts to pick Clark's lock. Attempted breaking and entering. 2) Jimmy actually *does* pick Clark's lock. Breaking and entering. The Phoenix1) Lois does not immediately report Lex to the police when she recognizes him - aiding and abetting / failures to report a wanted felon Top Copy1) Lois steals Mayson's beeper. Theft of personal property. a. Maybe some other charges related to locating the witness at the safe house? Return of the PranksterLucky Leon1) Superman Steals a nuclear device. – Robbery, Terrorism 2) Superman: Detonating a nuclear device in the atmosphere. [I think we could formulate a treason/terrorism charge for either of these that gets him the death penalty in a federal court.] 3) Superman hands over nukes to terrorists after stealing them from legit US soldiers. Terrorism . (Um, Clark, about that "checking your sources" thing you do as a reporter...) 4) Lois impersonates Mayson Drake over the telephone – impersonation of a government employee. Resurrection1) Lois and Clark break into Mayson's office in Resurrection. Breaking and entering. Tempus Fugitive1) Martha and Jonathan don’t tell authorities about a flying object falling in a field and moreover keeping it, and adopting a baby without proper verification by social services. 2) Martha, Jonathan, Lois, Clark, and HG Wells all went into Shuster field - trespassing. Target: Jimmy Olsen1) Clark with Lois's help impersonates a doctor, enters secure areas and disrupts the operation of a hospital. criminal impersonation and trespassing Individual Responsibility1) Lois and Clark breaking and entering into Newtrich's office. a. Clark damages lock on said door. 2) Superman allows the payroll check thieves to escape. Aiding and abetting. 3) Superman does nothing to prevent the kidnap of Perry White - Aiding and abetting. Whine, Whine, WhineAnd the Answer Is1) Clark stole jewelry for Mazik. True, he was coerced into doing so, so the courts would probably go easy on him if he had actually been brought to trial, but he did, nevertheless, steal from a jewelry store. – Breaking & Entering, Theft. 2) Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath and then thaws her out again -Reckless endangerment and Promoting a Sucide Attempt, practicing medicine without a license? a. Lois suicide by superhero 3) Clark impersonates Sergeant Zymack on the phone - impersonating a police officer ***** SEASON THREE:…We have a Lot to Talk About1) Lois - she breaks into Joe the Blow's room and looks over his materials. Trespassing. Ordinary People1) Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. - [Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there? ] – Manslaughter? 2) Clark - cruelty to animals for heating up the sand in the path of the tiger. 3) Superman, transporting cheese into the US from Switzerland without declaring it at customs. Smuggling. a. Same with Pearl from Japan? ContactWhen Irish Eyes are Killing1) Superman involuntarily killed Patrick with his laser vision (although without a body we can’t be too sure that Patrick is really dead, or just Voldermorted.) Just Say Noah1) L&C enter Smiley's back room - Trespassing 2) L&C - Even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. - theft 3) Lois and Clark took the torn page from the dead woman's shoe (Janet?). Withholding / removing evidence from a murder scene. Don’t Tug on Superman’s Cape1) Superman puts fist through TV at Daily Planet after he thinks Bad Brain zapped Lois into a pile of ashes.– destruction of personal property Ultra Woman1) Lois uses her super power to look through Clarks clothing - violation of privacy. 2) Lois tosses the park gate. We then here a car getting smashed (by the gate). Destruction of personal (car) and public property (gate). Chip Off the Old Clark1) Superman wraps signpost around Anonymous – destruction of property. 2) Superman tears hinges off door of chemical plant – destruction of private property 3) Lois (and Superman) enter closed chemical plant (We clearly see "Closed" signs on the closed gates when Superman is confronting Anonymous.) Trespassing. SuperMann1) Superman enters a closed mine without authorization by the owners – trespassing. 2) Superman flies out of S.T.A.R. Labs in Radioactive booth – destruction of property. Virtually Destroyed1) Jimmy and Superman - computer trespass Home is Where the Hurt IsNever on a Sunday1) while in Jamaica as a green reporter, Clark ran the story of Hendricks/Baron Sunday and the gun running operation, presumably without checking all his sources. A background check later proves Hendricks was completely clean. Libel and defamation of character 2) Lois steals the needle from Baron Sunday's plane when they go to pay him a visit - theft. The Dad who Came in from the Cold1) Superman hides the briefcase at the start of the episode just after the agent is killed would technically be illegal, since the people looking for it are actually government agents - removal of evidence from a crime / murder scene Tempus Anyone?I now Pronounce you…Double Jeopardy1) Clark: Adding and Abetting Seconds1) Lois acting as Wanda Detroit assists Luthor in breaking into Star Labs and stealing some things. - breaking and entering, theft, accomplice Forget Me Not1) Lois uses a gun to try to kill Perry - attempted murder [True, she has been hypnotized into doing it by Dr. Mendenhall]. Oedipus Wrecks1) Lois punched Deter out - assault / battery It's a Small World After All1) Clark impersonates a Navy SEAL. - Federal crime to impersonate a member of any military branch. Through a Glass Darkly1) Lois and Clark nose around the For Sale property, without anyone being around/any realtor in the vicinity. Trespassing. Big Girls Don’t Fly****   SEASON FOUR:Lord of the Flies1) Lois - Solicitation. 2) Superman hired (accepted services) of a prostitute Battleground Earth1) Clark partakes in a duel to the death. - Attempted murder? [Or is there actually an anti-dueling paragraph?] 2) Lois Lane - attacked the colonel who ordered the use of Kryptonite gas against Nor and Superman - assault on a government officer Swear to God1) Clark destroys Lamont's (Leo Nunk's photographer) film using his vision do-hicky (x-ray vision). – willful destruction of property. [Although, being that nobody present except Lois knows that CK=SM and she'd never testify against her husband, I doubt this willful destruction of property would ever make it to court.] Soul Mates1. Clark (Sir Charles) assaults his liege Baron Tempos. This is clearly illegal. 2. Clark (The Fox) steals from the rich and gives to the poor – robbery. Brutal YouthPeople Vs. Lois Lane1) Some of Superman's visits to Lois were clearly unauthorized and in violation of jail rules and procedures – breaking and entering? / trespass? 2) Superman – non-disclosure of his “known” name Clark Kent during trial, when asked – lying under oath, contempt of court. 3) Clark steals evidence (the case found when Lois "pulled the trigger" that should have been with the other incriminating evidence) from D.A. Clemmon’s briefcase – theft. Dead Lois Walking1) Superman breaks Lois out of prison. [Bad Superman, bad...] – Aiding and Abetting, Harboring a fugitive 2) Lois leaves prison – escape Bob and Carol and Lois and ClarkGhostsStop the Presses1) Lois - rams her Jeep Cherokee through the doors of the missile silo - destruction of government property Lethal Weapon1) Superman, excessive destruction of public property. Sex, Lies and Video Tape1) Lois Lane - Lois got a discount at Chateau Roberge by claiming to be working on a story, even though she wasn’t planning on writing one - fraud. Meet John Doe1) Superman attacks John Doe – assault of a public figure Lois and Clarks1. Alt-Clark – impersonation of canon Clark - Fraud AKA Superman1. Jimmy – impersonation of Superman – Fraud 2. Lois and Clark leave restaurant without paying - theft Faster than a Speeding VixenShadow of a Doubt1) Superman - needless disruption of a crime scene. When he first finds someone strangled by Hanson, he breaks open the door, but since he can hear heartbeats and things like that he should be able to tell the guy is dead, and this seems to be negligent intervention on his part. Voice from the Past1) Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath, and then thaws her back out. - Reckless Endangerment, AGAIN, practicing medicine without a license? I’ve Got you Under My SkinToy Story1) Lois grabs Superman from little boy - theft. Family Hour1) Lois and Clark – Kidnapping of Baby ALL Episodes: Lois and Clark stole our hearts.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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