I think the word might be "repentance". It literally just means to realize you're on the wrong path and change direction. Sounds to me like they both need to hear the other admit their part in the mess, and to hear that the other one values the relationship enough to forgive them.
I wonder if Clark is struggling with the cost of forgiveness. Clark was seriously wronged, and he's not sure that Lois has learned her lesson and therefore worries that she'll hurt him again if he lets her close. But Lois can't read his mind. He might have to lay his grievances out clearly before she can apologize. And Virginia, if she's truly incapable of admitting she was wrong, then maybe he's right to stay away. She has to get over that in order to bridge the gulf between them.
