Darth Michael: And he's caught up! Oh, wait...
Great… /cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze/
I hope you feel better soon. I was wondering who I gave my head cold to. Who knew it could travel through cyberspace? My apologies.
CLARK: What? I always thought Lois preferred to be on top. Plus, something tells me she’d be a good cowgirl.
Not when she just returned from space and her bone density is low and she hasn't rebuilt her calluses.
Maybe Lex Luthor was actually a kind and gentle soul and it was all Nigel’s doing?
LEX: /checks to see if Michael has passed the bar/ By jove, I think he's got it!
ER: /surprised/ She admits to being wrong! And to being no news. /passes out/
LOIS: Ribbit?
I'm not planning any surprise visits from Clois. Let's just say that Lois had a bad day. Her romantic investigative weekend was cut short due to exhaustion.
LOIS:
Horrible! He lasted 2.5 seconds and fell asleep directly afterwards. I had to find another way to satisfy myself.
PERRY: So, Ms. … Lane, is it? I see that you have worked in news media before. Television, was it? … Well, well, well… you would like to be the Daily Planet’s star reporter. Yes, I can help with that. Olsen! Olsen!
JIMBO: Yes, Chief?
PERRY: Olsen, this is Ms. Lane, out new hire. Please get her forms processed by H.R. and set her up at the astrology desk. Ever since we had to close Cat’s Corner, the entertainment section was missing some zing. Maybe ‘The Zodiac Lane’ will spiff things up a bit.
Terrific! I wish I had thought of that.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e030.gif)
NERD CROWD: No tech details. And no bikini shots of the reporter.
SUBWAY READERS: Yes, the Earth looks blue from space. I’ve seen that in the last Asteroid movie, too.
SHELDON COOPER: Can you believe how this ‘reporter’ mixed up metric and imperial units? Apparently the Space Station goes through more weight shifts than Howard’s mother when she comes off a diet.
You forgot:
FRAT BOYS: So, what's sex like in space?
Ralph had stolen that thunder by leaking it to LNN before she could report it.
Is he now living in some remote shack in the woods, praying that Lois won’t ever find him? No, wait, he got blown up, didn’t he?
The shack idea seems like a good one. He didn't blow up during the D.P. bombing, that was Chip Peterson, Lex's replacement Editor.
The true reason why he doesn’t want to have sex with her?
CLARK: Um... no.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e010.gif)
I do make some exceptions to my swearing rule.
and returned her thoughts to what might await her at her apartment.
ER: /bad guys with guns?/
Sadly, only in her dreams.
CLARK: She has weird dreams. She should have some of mine.
LOIS: I die in those too.
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif)
Ooops. But not from gunfire!
She could do it herself? She could say she had tried to make a bombe glacée.
No, sadly, that would only explode in Clark's stomach.
CLARK: Another good reason not to eat sweets /lowers voice/ or Lois's cooking.
Plus, her feet fit perfectly in the groves on his back.
Yes, why have to start over with another man who doesn't have built in grooves?
Still, Lois hated how easily Clark could relax her. She shouldn’t need a man to tell her everything would be all right, any more than she needed a man to protect her.
Well, actually…
LOIS: Oh, shut up!
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/o025.gif)
LOIS: I'm never going to live this down, am I?
CLARK: /shrugs/ I'll make sure you don't die.
LOIS: Of embarrassment?
CLARK: um... no?
Moreover, she would tell Clark that, as soon as his kisses stopped turning her legs to Jell-O and her insides to molten lava.
So, never?
Well, she is her mother's daughter, so a part of her is worried that someday he'll turn into a schmuck all men seem to be. So, it would take forever to prove her wrong.
CLARK: I've got time.
Maybe if she didn’t try to be on top…?
True, a weaker woman would get to the bedroom sooner.
CLARK: Um... no.
He crossed his arms across that glorious chest of his and grinned. “You never said ‘octopus’.”
ER: /he didn't just go there!/
Yep.
The little missus doesn’t like her own medicine?
Nope.
/imagines deer-in-headlight look/
That's the one.
TABLOID REPORTERS: /wave/
LOIS: I meant Clark!
LEX's MINIONS:
“But I was with Clark, and it would’ve attracted attention if he carried me everywhere.”
CLARK: Hodor?
Yes, Hodor riding isn't in fashion for another 20 years.
He started to take off her left sock. “No, it isn’t. Believe you me, minha, if I knew a way to share my powers with you, I would.”
ER: /suggests plugging her in/
EW & CLARK & LOIS:
ER: /gets excited when anyone mentions chest and sleeping in the same sentence/
CLARK: No, I don't think I'd sleep better if Lois was invulnerable either.
He stood up and took a couple of steps backwards. “Get undressed.”
ER: /What's Clark doing?!/
ER: /dirty mind cannot think of another reason for Superman to have Lois get undressed/
It won't be that easy.
LOIS: Why not?
EW: The story would end too soon.
Maybe if she told him that he’d have to apologize before she’d be willing to engage in carnal activities with him?
Since he's not rushing into said activities, I doubt that would work. Although, it might get them talking more.
Oh, sorry. Did you want angsty instead? /looks at the next few parts/
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a015.gif)
Well, I guess I could change some things and make her anger last longer... if you would prefer. But it would take a LOT of work and delays. Perhaps we should just see what happens.
Again, too strong? Should I make Super Wimpy Lunkhead reappear?
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/g025.gif)
Sorry, that's not really in my plans.
Let's see who can resist longer?
This is one of favorite parts I've written lately. I hope you enjoyed it.
ER: /It was okay, but don't tell anyone else or they might want to read it too./
Um... okay?... I mean, no. I mean, what? Thanks for feeding my muse!
