They definitely almost got closer there. That was a definite near miss in a way the original wasn't (quite). I loved her reaction to the "man in blue" comment. Definitely remembers that suit, it seems,
Yup, although not fully. Enough to know that the comment was quite significant, although unintentionally.
The back and forth over silly fortunes between Lois and Clark was funny, but I can't help but prefer the original scene.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I love the way the whole series played out (well 99% of it) so even when I re-write a scene - or anyone re-writes it - the original is still deep in my heart.
Lois was the perfect example of Career woman ready to make her mark on the world. She really didn't have time for the young man from Nowheresville.
Nope. And I always smile to think of how she had noooo idea what she's letting slip through her fingers.
But oh, what fun watching Clark strive to make her notice him!
Ahhh, he strives and strives, and he's so patient, and perfect.
Totally agree and was going to mention what Morgana brought up. Having Lois know their future, it was really interesting seeing Lois 'catching' little details about Clark (that in the original she never woud have thought to notice). I
really was impressed by her perceptiveness...the food probably would be from China, it's hot b/c of Clark's heat-vision. If this Clark only knew how much Lois DOES know about him
...
He might run away in terror ... LOL
The 'look' Lois and Clark give each other, followed by the 'Don't fall for me farmboy...' line from the Pilot Chinese take-out scene--I kept waiting and wondering if you'd take us there in this story. You definitely had them flirting--you could feel the connection. The famous line...I really can't see this Lois saying it as much (due to the fact that she is completely head over heals for Clark).
No, there was no way that she could say it. But I love that line, and Clark's responding expression, so I had to find a way of putting something similar in.
Panicking about a near kiss? That fits...the build up in Lois' mind, all this time she's been waiting to meet and fall for Clark--I can see her doing what you had her do.
Good, glad it felt right.
Oh, and by the way, loved the back and forth about the fortunes--very cute
...
Can't wait for the next part
Laura
Thank you. I thought the fortunes banter was cute too.
I loved it! The additional banter was great - the sense that they already have such an easy friendship that they can easily fall into a pattern of joking with each other.
Thanks
The laughter suddenly died. She straightened up, removing her hands from her stomach. Clark leaned a little closer.
"Lois," he whispered.
Another memory … hundreds of snippets of memory … told her what was coming next. Panic mode set in. "Don't," she whispered in terror, her eyes wide.
Clark stared back at her, frozen. After a wait, that was both too short and too long, he pulled away and turned to start collecting the takeout containers.
I absolutely felt this moment when I read it - it was very well written. The second that seems frozen in time, and then the reality that breaks it...so good!
Thank you.
Hello again
Hey there. Welcome.
I really enjoyed this chapter, more than the previous ones: I'm still a bit on the fence about this mood-shifting Lois (poor Clark, I guess he's really having a hard time trying to figure this woman out!), but now it seems she's starting to regain a bit of composure, like she's in charge of her defenses again.
I think you are supposed to feel on the fence/unsure about this mood-shifting Lois, because SHE is unsure. Although she knew Clark would come along, it was still a shock to see him, and she's trying to figure out what to say and do, and how to behave around him. She will settle down eventually.
I like the fact that we see Clark through Lois' eyes, not really knowing what's going on in his mind: it's a nice way to keep the story intriguing.
I found it really hard to write this way. I always put both viewpoints in my stories, so to keep this at Lois only was hard. I still had to know what Clark was thinking, and also had to try and get it across to the reader - sometimes, but Lois doesn't always get it right when she's trying to figure him out ... even with all her downloaded knowledge from the future.
P.S.: For the record, I really thought that the line starting with Clark whispering "Lois..." would end with something like: "...You've got something stuck in your teeth"
I can just see that. What a real mood breaker.
I, too, loved the back and forth addition of the fortune cookies. The "blue suit" one and Lois's reaction was priceless. Will it have an influence on how Clark chooses his costume? Will he look in the mirror when he tries on the blue suit and smile, thinking "A man in a blue suit will change your life, Lois Lane."??
I think so.
We will never know ... as this scene does not have Lois in it.
What do you think?
What did Clark think when Lois said "don't"? Does he react in the same way that he does when she cockily says "don't fall for me" or does he suspect she's pushing him away for another reason? She's already shown Clark she's more vulnerable that canon Lois did (she waited until Toni Barnes had them locked up in the Messenger Hangar).
Yes, they have become more comfortable with each other already ... and THAT scene is still to come, too.
I can't see that convincing him to move on, but it might have him fall deeper, sooner. You know Clark, he can't resist a woman in need of a hero.
We will just have to see.
I have to agree with Lois. AT WORK probably isn't the best time or place for their first kiss.
Whyever not! I think it would be a great place for a first kiss. And a second kiss. And possibly a third, and fourth ... as infinitum.
Great new part. The scene with the fortunes was really cute.
Thanks.
