Darth Michael: Sorry to hear about you being sick. I hope you're feeling better now. Thank you for filling my inbox.
Lois took a deep breath before stepping off the elevator. She had just come from a perplexing interview at EPRAD, which hadn’t gone down in the way she thought it would. No, not at all.
/dizzy/ We’ve just been in Vegas!
Hmmm. Perhaps "gone down" wasn't the correct phrase to use here. Also, Lois wasn't in Vegas.
What's he doing here?
LOIS: No, you stupid! I’m just interviewing for the PR staff position at EPRAD. Girl’s got to eat and it’s either that or working in the middle of LFI magazine.
CLARK: You mean the centerfold position?
LOIS: Oh, shut up! I already said that I’m taking the PR gig.
Oh, not a hiring interview. A reporter / businessman interview. You know, since it was just announced publicly that Luthor faked the Nightfall disaster by screwing up EPRAD's computers.
She taken the job before she realized that being in PR means being nice to other reporters?
Maybe she turned them down and was regretting it.
LEX: I believe they’re called ‘reasons’.
POtato. PAtato.
Oh, and here I thought it was because of Bender bending the law.
No, it was a reference to all lawyers... not just the ones working for criminals.
Well…it would be convenient?
But out of all the people in the world to hide out with, why Bender? Why his lawyer?
Because Mayson hasn’t yet consummated her lust with Clark?
Because in pre-Another Lois, they were best friends (Mayson died right before Another Lois began.) Also, Clark hasn't met Mayson yet.
Wouldn’t they send a pizza delivery boy to bring her the summons?
BENDER: That's Plan B.
Plus, he might not be back in his room yet. Cathouses are usually open throughout the night. I’d assume…
LOIS: Cat often came to the office straight from work.
CLARK: /straightening his tie and swallowing nervously/ Probably best not to make jokes like that while I'm still vulnerable.
So, they’re giving control to the *lawyers*?
Well, with all of LexCorp senior management under indictment...
A dash of ink might liven up the temporal clase.
Oh, sorry. /Cleans monitor/ Oh. Lookie there. I didn't add a comma after all. Silly me.
He signed her over to some Mid-Eastern sheik he thought deserved a go at his bed bunny?
Kal-El? /I know, I know. Old joke/
Oh. Right. But she said *noooooo!* *NEVER!* And ‘you go and shove that ring where it will never be found safe by a proctologist’.
Which is why Luthor had to have signed the paperwork BEFORE the wedding. He was a bit busy running from the law afterwards. If Henderson, FBI, and MPD hadn't been after Lex, I'm sure he would have remembered to tear up the paperwork, but since he didn't... it went through. Gee, I hope that doesn't come back to bite Bender on where he sits.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/s045.gif)
He was hoping to get some special birthday nookie from his new bride due to the joyous occasion, thus making the honeymoon video much more entertaining to watch?
CLARK: /sick/
Oh, was it Lex's birthday, too? Shame, huh?
Like Lex jumping out of a Jumping-Jack box?
LOIS: /looks around Bender's office eying every piece of large furniture suspiciously/
BENDER: Of course!
EW: Um... Bender, you have something brown on your nose.
But since she can’t afford to rebuild it…Maybe she could get the money from her husband by offering him sexual favors?
Which is how he expected his wife to decide to do her marital responsibilities with a little more vigor.
She didn’t even want to think what the sick bastard would have required her to do to get the money.
ER: /Has an idea what Lex would have wanted her to do/ /whispers idea to EW/
EW: /points to her explanation above which agrees with ER's guess/
ER: /that could have been fun, yes?/
LEX:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d025.gif)
LOIS: No.
CLARK: No.
Which reminds me…What about property taxes. And is there a gift-tax in the US? Over here, if you receive property of any sort of significant value from anyone but the closest of family, the state collects 10% or 15% (I think) of the value.
Well, that's cruel.
LEX: Here, darling, I have something for you! A huge tax bill! Love ya, got to run.
EW: So what's the value of a defunct company and a burnt out building, nowadays?
What she earns on her back should in no way reflect what she does while standing up.
RANDY GOODE:
And since it’s mostly the reporters who are living meager lives, I’m assuming they’re the only ones not smart enough to exploit every loophole there is?
Perhaps Lois is more ethical than other reporters. Perhaps she takes her job in the fourth estate seriously and isn't in it for the financial gain.
LINDA: Ooooh! I finally have 6 zeros on my bank account balance. Nice! Let’s see, what’s next…
On the other hand... Not all reporters care about these things.
A shadow fell over his body and Clark opened his eyes behind his sunglasses. “Yes?”
Jimmy? Or some hot blonde?
Good guess!
JIMMY: The best kind.
She hoping he might rub her with sun lotion?
Yes, in a round about manner. First, she would apply the suntan lotion to him, and then he'd rub his body against hers.
CLARK: My, is that the time?
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/s015.gif)
Oh, she’s hoping to rub *him* with sun lotion.
HOT BLONDE: It’s like a Chippendale’s show!
ER: /has ideas on exactly where Stephanie wants to apply the lotion/
CLARK:
But I'm not even in the suit!
STEPHANIE: Good idea. Take it off!
She never met a gay guy, then?
STEPH: I have.
STEPH: Gay guys. Those are just the ones who haven't seen me naked, right? All the others have come to their senses.
“Yes. I need to buy my girlfriend a gift. Our anniversary is coming up,” he said.
Subtle.
CANON CLARK: Why would he lie? I never lied like that to Mayson…
Who says alt-Clark is lying? Didn't Jenny suggest that he buy Lois a gift?
No, I think their intentions are of a rather dubious nature.
Strange thing. That's what my betas said as well. But, you see, Clark's a bit more glass is full (because I really didn't want it filled up to the rim) kind of guy.
LOIS: You mean 'delusionally naive'?
JIMMY: Well, he loves you, doesn't he?
JIMBO: The real reason Jimmy leaves Metropolis.
They’re not invading. They just want some happens-in-Vegas-stays-in-Vegas time with him.
CLARK: But I don't!
He could wear a wedding band?
CLARK: Wouldn't that be lying?
EW: He could kiss Jimmy on the lips when he arrives back from his interview.
JIMMY: Hey, man. That's a double edge sword.
Actually, he had enjoyed the young man’s company,
BATMAN: /totally recommends the lifestyle/
ROBIN: /suggests he assist Jimbo escape and they can hide out in the wilderness together/
BATMAN: Oh, look. Robin is playing hide and seek again.
ROBIN: No, just hide.
I’m assuming now he gets it how women feel like?
CLARK: I never ogle women!
WOMEN: /crying/
RALPH: Okay, Kent. You take the men, I'll ogle the women!
Later…
JIMMY: Hi, I’m Jimmy.
HOT CHICK: Huh? Oh. Right. Sooo…Claaaaarrrrrrrk…
LOIS: See. Delusionally naive.
CLARK: I don't understand it. Jimmy's looks just like me. /points to network's decision to change Jimmys after S1/
LOIS: And people say that *I* have vision problems.
He could then read all about it in tomorrow’s paper?
What paper?
CLARK: /lifts up copy of DP off stands/ Uh, Jimmy. How long have we been in Vegas?
JIMMY: /sighs as another beautiful woman passes by/ Who cares?
They could dilute his remains and poor him down the toilet?
LOIS: I like this plan!
Maybe a torrid romance novel?
CLARK: I was thinking something a bit lighter, like War and Peace or David Copperfield.
VEGAS WOMEN: Ew. He's a geek. Look what he's reading.
He’s quite the grumpy vacationer.
Well, he did leave his bed bunny back at home.
That’s quite the new habit she’s getting into, isn’t it?
Perhaps.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e015.gif)
Maybe she could just print out the one page?
LOIS: Like I really buy them a dictionary. It was a metaphor.
LOIS: I *knew* it! Lex was a pig!
Maybe if he pulled the mask off mid-fall and aimed his face for the pavement? The mask could even have some combustible aids added to it?
That's just sick!
LEX: Brilliant! Think of all the money I could have saved on clones.
Ooooh! Ooooh! I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!
He shot someone else? He had Hellar burn someone else to look as if he had been shot?
She does realize that she sounds like one of her more loony sources, right?
HENDERSON: But the guy had frog DNA, so it's hard to use that reasoning.
She’s like one of those spy-handlers from the cold war. Building up a source until the source believes helping his handler is more important than his job. His country. Maybe even his family.
LOIS: Helping me IS the most important part of any sources' job.
You’ve not suggesting that the writers of the clone-argh got their idea from that movie, are you?
That's possible, too. I just like the book and movie and tend to mention it once or twice in my stories, since it was timely back then.
It’s called book-smarts? And what will they say when Superman collects a stray T-Rex from Madison Avenue?
Usually book smarts come from non-fiction and not fictional stories.
LOIS: But Crichton does lots of research!
AUDIENCE: Crossover! Love it!
EW: It really would have made JP2 more fun (and believable), if Superman had showed up in San Diego, don't you think?
You already considering buying an e-car for when your little ones reach that age?
I'll be let out of the house without the kids someday?
Because Lois is the mothering type?
And can handle the sexual reference better than Clark who just sputters and blushes whenever sex is mentioned?
Hence the requirement for taking her flying. Thus, she could verify the truth of the statement.
Well, she has a reputation for not believing her eyes.
Maybe they should throw down some grenades?
What if Lex took hostages?
Is that billionaire for being a player?
BRUCE: So what does it mean that the JLA keeps calling me anti-social?
GREEN ARROW: That you're doing it wrong, man.
LEX:
Although I did expect her to sputter how Superman would never kill a person.
LOIS: Geeze. You leak Superman's secret identity once and you're scarred for life.
CLARK: Once?
CLARK: /hyper/ She’s fine with the cast-iron cage I have made for her!
LOIS: My, it's awfully *hot* in this cage. /starts to remove clothing/
CLARK: I can fix that! /blows freezing breath in the room/
LOIS: Claaaark. Now, I'm cold. Can you warm me up? And don't use heat vision as I'll get burned by the hot bars.
CLARK:
Maybe she’d go after him now?
JENNY: /wave/
Oh, right.
Isn't it better to rub it in April's face that he's no longer interested in her now that he's a celebrity himself?
Maybe Lois could be of some advice to that?
LOIS: If it earns me trophies, I don't care what anyone thinks.
EW: Okay, maybe not Lois...
Maybe he could do a book? Lane and Kent – Super Frauds
LOIS: EX-cuse me. *I'm * not a fraud!
What about that pack of sex offenders nesting in the corner over there next to the elevators?
LOIS: Oh, EW cut the scene where I flea bombed the place before walking in.
So, the building’s dead, then? No living soul left? Will she find Ralph’s half-decayed body in a stall in the men’s bathroom?
We *haven't* heard from Ralph since the DP's demise, have we?
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a015.gif)
Maybe the fire marshals didn’t know that?
Or maybe Luthor bought them off?
She going to phone Perry? Or that nice billionaire she met over in Gotham City? John Wayne? Bruce Sprinsteen. Something like that.
All good guesses. Who would she want to talk to without Luthor or the Feds listening? Also, I think John Wayne was dead already by 1994. Sorry, she didn't bring Star with her.
