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#34350 11/17/06 11:25 PM
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Okay, it's always bothered me that Lois was such a prize bitch during the Pilot, because that's not how I want to think of her. So you bet I was happy to see Lois like this:

Quote
Before the introduction, Lois hadn’t even noticed him sitting there. She turned toward him and her jaw dropped. “Clark Kent! Chief! He’s the guy I told you that you ought to try to hire. Remember? He’s good! His Desert Storm stories should have won a Kerth. The only reason they didn’t is because he was freelance.” She couldn’t stop staring at Clark Kent. He was about the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen.
Wow!!!! Lois knows about Clark already, and she has already tried to persuade Perry to hire him!!! She thinks he is a brilliant reporter, and she is not afraid to say so to Perry, and in front of Clark himself! And she acknowledges to herself that he is the most gorgeous man she has ever seen! I love it!!!! smile1 smile1 smile1

But hey, what's this?

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Lois was going on about some story about EPRAD. Clark thought he’d read some of her stuff. Not bad. Definitely not his caliber, but she wasn’t bad. And hey, if she was working here, then why couldn’t he?
Clark doesn't notice Lois's looks at all. He knows of her as a reporter and thinks that she is "not bad", but "definitely not his caliber". He thinks that if someone as unimpressive as her is working for the Daily Planet, then there is certainly no reason that he shouldn't work there, too!

Clark is being a - well, an idiot, I think! razz Okay, he is behaving better than Lois did in the Pilot, at least. But he needs to be taught a lesson. He needs to understand that Lois is fantastic! Adorable! Gorgeous! A fabulous reporter! Nancy, are you planning to make these facts penetrate this thick-headed doofus' brain? Are you going to show us Clark falling in love with Lois? Because if you are, I definitely want to read more of this!

Ann

#34351 11/17/06 11:37 PM
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Thank you, Ann!!!

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Are you going to show us Clark falling in love with Lois? Because if you are, I definitely want to read more of this!
Yes, definitely, that would be my plan. But the title is Twisted. So I definitely
'twisted' things up a little.


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#34352 11/18/06 02:14 AM
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Keep posting!! You can't leave us here! eek

Jose hyper


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#34353 11/18/06 02:42 AM
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Yes, definitely, that would be my plan. But the title is Twisted. So I definitely
'twisted' things up a little.
So is it Lois falling for Clark without him noticing it??? smile1 smile1 smile1

Hurry back with more.


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#34354 11/18/06 08:36 AM
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Hi Nancy,

What can I say but BRILLIANT! dance

Its good to have two different stories going through the Fan fic,

This pilot could be the perfect prequel to A New Hero. laugh (As one of your big fans of that story!)

I don't say that things won't be tortuous and Lois could even forget her initial raves - to make it an even more "twisted"?

Looking forward to much more.

Regards,

Stuart

#34355 11/18/06 10:09 AM
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Quote
Before the introduction, Lois hadn’t even noticed him sitting there. She turned toward him and her jaw dropped. “Clark Kent! Chief! He’s the guy I told you that you ought to try to hire. Remember? He’s good! His Desert Storm stories should have won a Kerth. The only reason they didn’t is because he was freelance.” She couldn’t stop staring at Clark Kent. He was about the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen.
Please, I am a diabetic, that much sugar could kill me.

Nice start but Lois is way too sweet. How about having her know who he is and do the same thing on a lower key.

Kent, she knew that name, hmmm, she held out her hand,
"Clippings?"
"Ah, yes" he replied handing the file to her.

"Hmmm" she opened it and leafed through it.
She smiled, "Ahh" as she pulled a sheet out and handed it to Perry.
"Always lead with your best Kent"


Framework4
#34356 11/18/06 10:45 AM
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I certainly like the fact that in this twist, it's Lois who falls for Clark while it's Clark who is oblivious to her. Makes for a very different set of problems which are at least equally interesting as the original.


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#34357 11/18/06 01:07 PM
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Oh yeah, definitely continue! I'm loving this angle. party


I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
#34358 11/18/06 05:49 PM
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Quote
Lois was going on about some story about EPRAD. Clark thought he’d read some of her stuff. Not bad. Definitely not his caliber, but she wasn’t bad. And hey, if she was working here, then why couldn’t he?

Perry sighed and looked at both of them briefly. “Lois Lane, Clark Kent.”

Before the introduction, Lois hadn’t even noticed him sitting there. She turned toward him and her jaw dropped. “Clark Kent! Chief! He’s the guy I told you that you ought to try to hire. Remember? He’s good! His Desert Storm stories should have won a Kerth. The only reason they didn’t is because he was freelance.” She couldn’t stop staring at Clark Kent. He was about the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen.
Well, well, well! Twisted is right. Nancy, definitely continue it!


lisa in the sky with diamonds
#34359 11/18/06 06:09 PM
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Well, I'm pretty excited about all this feedback.

I'd like to thank daneel, bakasi, SNL, Olympe, Sheila, Mrs. Mosley, and Framework 4.

Okay, Patrick, you wanted me to change this to:

Quote
Kent, she knew that name, hmmm, she held out her hand,
"Clippings?"
"Ah, yes" he replied handing the file to her.

"Hmmm" she opened it and leafed through it.
She smiled, "Ahh" as she pulled a sheet out and handed it to Perry.
"Always lead with your best Kent"
But the title is Twisted. I think this would basically be putting the pilot right back to where the pilot was in the first place.

If she had said Kent was the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen, then yes, that would have been way over the top. But she thought it. Do you think we women don't notice gorgeous guys? We do. I'm reminded of a tongue in cheek song that I believe is called Size Doesn't Matter. And hey, even Lois noticed in the beginnings of the show. She just tried to talk herself out of believing that she thought that.

And Lois was always passionate about good writing. Or at least I saw it that way. She is more excited about the good writing.

Since I'd gotten some private feedback, I'd already decided to continue with the story, and we do have some similar ideas in that Lois will tell him he almost blew it because 'He didn't lead with his best'. That wasn't my wording, but heck, but I might use that bit of your suggestion.

And lastly, I wonder if some of this 'really no change in the pilot' stuff came from something I did in A New Hero that caused you to stop reading? I do wish you'd come back. The next chapter (Chapter 36) will begin to resolve the issue that upset you so. I think you might like it.

Expect more Twists. Maybe a date with Cat? (Only a date.)


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#34360 11/22/06 08:45 AM
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I was just thinking what effect this kind of beginning would have on the towel scene (nine..naked) in the Pilot. Please do something with that.


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#34361 11/22/06 09:30 AM
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Would the Clark Classicalla portrays actually open the door in only a towel?

Just a question.


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light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
#34362 11/22/06 12:52 PM
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Oh, yes, Classicalla's Clark would definitely open the door in a towel... Maybe he'll even drop it...
rotflol


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#34363 11/22/06 04:09 PM
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Hmmm, Nancy's Lois doesn't need to fall much harder for Clark than she already has, but... well, the dropped towel is always a good idea. Maybe Lois will pick it up for him? goofy

Ann

#34364 11/22/06 06:35 PM
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I don't know how I missed this vignette when you first posted, but I'm so glad I saw it!

I really, really like how you've taken the pilot and turned it on its head. Especially — and I know this bit has already been quoted twice, but I love love *love* it, so I have to re-post it — here:
Quote
Lois was going on about some story about EPRAD. Clark thought he’d read some of her stuff. Not bad. Definitely not his caliber, but she wasn’t bad. And hey, if she was working here, then why couldn’t he?
Hah! Such a terrific (pardon the pun) twist! I can't wait to read the next part. smile1


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#34365 11/22/06 10:22 PM
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Kerth
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Dropping the towel? drool
Go for it! I want to read about that! Make it nfic, please. blush


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light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
#34366 11/22/06 10:48 PM
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Thanks, guys. Yes, maybe Lois will pick that towel up for him.

But first up, another chapter of A New Hero. I'm going to post that soon.


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#34367 12/02/06 05:55 PM
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Great start! smile I like how you twisted things around, very nice idea!

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tbc?? As I said that all depends on *you*! Is it drivel? Or do you want more?
well, duh. of course we want more! wink ...so you hurry up, ok? hehehe!


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#34368 12/02/06 08:54 PM
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Thanks, Lara!!

Yes, I do intend on continuing. But my new job is going to have me traveling, and at first I'll be computerless (except for my Palm Pilot), so it will be slow going.


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#34369 12/03/06 05:05 AM
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Hi Nancy!

Sorry I'm late to the party.

Very, very twisted. I like it - and yes, definitely continue... although I doubt my vote does much since I was really too late to cast it <bad DJ bad>


Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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