As promised, here's your real feedback.
Wow! What an ending! The king of cliffhangers strikes again.
Clark had a sneaking feeling that he also fit in that category. Of course, given his history with Lana, that wasn’t much of a surprise.
He’s starting to realize how unhealthy their relationship really was, a sad occasion.
Myron certainly was an intriguing fellow. I kept trying to figure out what his position was. (You know I’m easily distracted.) I figure he’s a liaison between NOAA and the Treasure Dept. if he is able to telecommute. Most of the NOAA fellows are located in one storm center which is nowhere near DC, though the National Weather Services has offices in the podunk town which is closest to every major city in the US. BTW, while as much of the technical equipment as possible is linked together by computer, there is a great deal of tools which cannot be so there isn’t a lot of telecommuting in meteorology.
Whatever he does, two things strike me about Myron. First, he is good at what he does. Second, his relationship with Lois is very strange. He seems over her, but he’s upset that she got over him first. When he called the feds, I think that part of the decision was because he takes his job seriously and part was because he was feeling vindictive toward Lois.
Clark felt a small pang of jealousy. Myron was a fussy little man, but he’d gotten to take Lois out on dates honestly. He’d been able to ask her out to dinner, to dance, to a movie, all secure in his place in the world. He hadn’t been encumbered by endless responsibilities. He hadn’t been out to save the world.
He’d just been able to spend a little time with a beautiful woman.
Just because it had apparently soured didn’t mean that Clark wasn’t jealous of the memories.
He feels trapped by his situation, but he hasn’t realized that he has the freedom to do what he wants to do.
I got confused by the setting toward the end of the part. I thought that the door leading into the stairway was locked, not realizing it was the door to the roof which they couldn’t get through. Therefore, when they leaned against the railing, I didn’t know they were outside. Perhaps if you added a few lines about the weather or scanning the sky for helicopters it might help to clear it up, assuming I’m not the only one who got lost for a moment.
“I’m not going to hold a gun to your head,” Clark said, stepping closer to Lois.
She must have seen something in his eyes because she took first one step backward and then another. A moment later she backed into the railing. She looked behind her and stiffened as she realized just how high in the air she actually was.
This is where I figured out that I missed out on something. Then I got confused from something else. We’re seeing this scene from Clark’s POV, so I couldn’t figure out why Lois was backing away from Clark. Was she suddenly afraid of him? I thought they had moved past that days ago. What did she think he was going to do?
Somehow the thought of leaving her with Agent Randal wasn’t even an option.
That’s good to know.
“I was telling you the truth when I said I wasn’t Superman,” He said. “It just wasn’t the whole truth.”
He pulled her toward her, and before she could scream they were both airborne.
And he finally trusts her with who he really is. The next part should be interesting, because now Lois finally needs to come to terms with the suspicions she has been unable to face in the past.
Another great part. Thanks for giving us what we’ve been anticipating. You’ve kept the a-plot and the b-plot so well balanced that it makes for a very well-written story.
Elisabeth
