I really think that Lois needs more time to get over all the lies Clark told her, and that it can't be swept under the rug.
I agree with that. However, the past is the past, and it can't be changed. If Lois wants a future with Clark, she
has to forgive him for what he did in the past. But that doesn't mean she needs to forgive him everything he may do in the present and the future.
She hadn't been open with him about her feelings, and pretended that she was okay with what he had done, when really she wasn't.
I agree with this, and it's a serious problem. I haven't read that much-talked-about book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, but it apparently claims that women expect men to just
know how women feel, even if the women haven't told the men about it. Lois can't expect Clark to be a mind-reader, so she must tell him how much his lies really hurt her. But in my opinion, this very point makes Lois's quick forgiveness of Clark in part seven of this story all the more problematical. Clark treated Lois badly once again, but she quickly and readily forgave him again, without telling him that he
must change his behaviour towards her if they are to have a future together.
My point is that Clark has no idea the emotional strain Lois is currently under. He has optimistically assumed that everything is sunshine and lollypops in their relationship, so therefore he can afford to think of other people's emotions.
Yes, he optimistically assumed that everything was sunshine and lollypops in their relationship, because that way he didn't have to invest any efforts into making their relationship work. He seems to have assumed that
Lois would take care of all that and make sure that their relationship was running smoothly. After all,
she had committed herself to
him, so why should
he have to commit himself to her in return? Isn't that a waste of efforts, like two people doing the same chore at the same time? Isn't it better that she takes care of loving him while he is off taking care of the world? So because he could assume that she took care of their relationship, he could pretty much ignore Lois and invest his own emotions and efforts into solving the problems of other people instead. Like worrying about Mayson, for example.
If Clark had been "just Clark", I think Lois could have had a happy life with him in spite of his streak of dense inconsiderateness towards her. After all, Clark is a cute, gorgeous, kind and well-meaning young man, and if he didn't have to be Superman, Lois would naturally be such a large part of his life that the good things about being married to this darling lunkhead would far outweigh the negative things. But because Clark
is Superman, and because he will always be required to spend a large part of his life helping out all over the world, it will be extremely unsatisfying for Lois to be married to him if he is just going to take her happiness and contentment for granted, no matter how much emotional suffering such a marriage may cost her.
So I don't think that Lois primarily needs more
time before she can marry Clark. Yes, obviusly she needs more time right now, when both her and Clark's lives are in turmoil because of the revelation of his identity. Still, what she
really needs, if you ask me, is that Clark reconsiders what a marriage to Lois ought to be about in the first place. Right now he seems happy to assume that a marriage to Lois will just mean that he will have a woman around him to love him and take care of him. He needs to realize that he will have to
give love to Lois too, not just
accept love from her. And that isn't going to happen if he is just waiting around for her to decide that she loves him so much that she will put up with being dismissed and taken for granted by him.
Ann
