Ann wrote:
But how can you say it wasn't horrible to propose to her without telling her? The proposal was his idea. He was asking for her complete acceptance and trust. How can it be all right not to to tell her that he is Superman, when in fact he is Superman? Can it be all right to forget to mention that little detail just because he doesn't think of himself as Superman? Mentally he is Clark Kent, not Superman, and he needs Lois to think of him that way. If she can't accept that psychological aspect of him, then he can't share his life with her. I understand that. However, I also know that the man who needs to think of himself as Clark Kent is also the man who keeps dressing up in spandex and flying off, often several times a day, to fight crime, prevent accidents or help out at disaster sites. Doesn't he think that Lois deserves to know that? Doesn't he owe it to her to acknowledge that to her before she decides if she wants to marry him?
I never said Clark was right, I only said I understood why he did what he did. I agree totally that he absolutely should have told her before proposing. I agree that it was a serious mistake, and I agree that Lois should be upset about that. And your point that it's something he should have done differently is perfectly valid, one with which I agree.
But to condemn Clark utterly for doing something he'd been trained to do all of his adult life (hide his powers) isn't the answer. From his point of view, he had to know - to
know - that Lois loved him, completely absent her affection for Superman. Instead of clobbering him for what he's done (and I agree it was the wrong thing to do), why not encourage him to rebuild Lois's trust in him and seek her forgiveness? Lois was justifiably angry when Clark proposed before confessing The Secret, but I've always thought that she was too harsh on him for that. Him breaking up with her for her own good?
That was far worse, in my humble opinion. I think she was totally justified in being furious with him on that score.
One of the things about a loving relationship is that you forgive the other person when they do something monumentally stupid. Clark forgave Lois for treating him like a useless ornament early on, and then for her infatuation with Superman (which, of course, he made more complicated than it should have been), but we have to remember that a lot of this stuff went on so people would tune in to the show to see what would happen next. If we have to blame somebody, let's blame the writers and the producers and ABC and December 8th Productions - and let's whack somebody over the head with some uncooked spaghetti for canceling one of the best romantic dramas ever to grace the small screen!
Cut Clark some slack, Ann. He's not perfect. Lois isn't perfect. Neither you nor I are perfect. So let's allow them to be flawed and work towards fixing those flaws. It's one of the things that makes us human.
