I, too, wish Clark had revealed his secret identity before proposing to Lois, but unlike some others (you know who you are), I understand why he didn't, even though I think it was a serious mistake.
Yes, Terry, I know who I am.
There was no way for him to tell her during season one.
Perhaps there was, perhaps there wasn't. I wish he would have told her during season one, but I can see that there were reasons for him not to.
Early in season two, her life was unstable, and neither of them knew what they wanted or how to get whatever it was they thought they wanted. And making that revelation too soon would have seriously damaged their chances of trusting each other.
Perhaps.
But my point was that Clark should have told Lois
before he proposed to her. Yes, there were other times when I wish he would have told her, too, but I don't think it was
unforgivable that he didn't tell her on those occasions.
I wish he would have told her after he had been shot in TOGOM. Nevertheless, while I think it was rather cruel not to tell her there, I don't think he was absolutely obliged to do it. They were not committed to each other at that time. Clark had not specifically asked Lois to trust him at that time. And he himself was shocked and lost and confused about what he should do after he had been shot.
I think it was even worse that he didn't tell Lois about himself before he froze her in ATAI. After all, she was risking her life for his sake, and she may very well have died, as you showed us in a fic of your own, Terry. Didn't this huge sacrifice on her part give her the right to know the truth about the man she was prepared to give her life for?
However, it was Lois's idea that he should freeze her. It wasn't Clark's idea. And she didn't ask him to tell her about himself before he froze her. I dislike him for not telling her at that time, but I still don't think it was unforgivable.
But how can you say it wasn't horrible to propose to her without telling her? The proposal was
his idea. He was asking for her complete acceptance and trust. How can it be all right
not to to tell her that he is Superman, when in fact he
is Superman? Can it be all right to forget to mention that little detail just because he doesn't
think of himself as Superman? Mentally he
is Clark Kent, not Superman, and he needs Lois to think of him that way. If she can't accept that psychological aspect of him, then he can't share his life with her. I understand that. However, I also know that the man who needs to think of himself as Clark Kent is also the man who keeps dressing up in spandex and flying off, often several times a day, to fight crime, prevent accidents or help out at disaster sites. Doesn't he think that Lois deserves to know that? Doesn't he owe it to her to acknowledge that to her before she decides if she wants to marry him?
If he really wants her to share her life with him, shouldn't he tell her these basic facts about himself? Shouldn't he tell her, "Lois, I need you to understand that I think of myself as Clark, but it's true that I'm also the man who flies away sometimes to be Superman"?
If he doesn't need to tell her who he is before he asks her to marry him, then what is marriage all about? Is it all about exchanging vows so that you are allowed to have sex with each other without committing adultery in the eyes of God? Is it not about being honest with each other? Trusting each other?
Whatever Lois ever did to Clark, I can't see that she ever deliberately treated him as badly as he did when he proposed to her without letting her know the truth about the person who was asking for her trust and her heart. And the fact that she had already figured it out about his lies didn't make them the least bit more acceptable.
Ann
