I know this is probably a re-post, so everyone else knew what they were gettting into, but I was a little disappointed when I realized this wasn't a vignette. When I didn't see a 1/?, I figured it would just be a little one-parter.
You did a good job on the re-write, but it felt for awhile like I was just reading the show again. You might want to write just enough to set the mood, and then skip to the scene where you start to make changes.
I do like the changes you are making. It is a well-known fact that Nigel St. John precedes trouble. A nice idea. I'm looking forward to where you go from here.
Elisabeth
