Yep, a TOGOM redo. And, yes, I admit to starting with the script. But comments are nice.

I just read this over at The Planet, but I came here and saw the FDK and . . . well, I guess I'm reviewing here.

Like you said, there have been *tons* of redos of this episode, but honestly I rarely get tired of reading them. I'm just wondering what *you* may have up your sleeve, oh queen of angst.

<rubs hands together in anticipation>

Can't wait to see the twist you're plotting!

SmirkyRaven

Hey, we all have to have a TOGOM story under our belts sooner or later! It's like a disease. A really, really good disease if you ask me since I love re-writes. <g> So keep it up!

JD

TOGOM really wasn't my favorite episode. The A-plot was dorky and a bit comic-bookish for my taste (not your fault, I know), since Hamilton's attempt at personality "fixes" was genetically based. It smacks of eugenics and Nazi pseudo-science. And since it's easier by far to make such changes in the fetal stage of any organism, and is almost impossible to perform in the adult stage (Star Trek et al notwithstanding), I always wondered how Hamilton was going to do what he said he was trying to do. I sorta believe he was using the clones he'd already grown to identify the genes he was looking for and then grow new ones with the alterations he planned. What he intended to do with the clones he already had, I have no idea. I doubt he'd planned that far ahead, but they would have been a problem. If they were as long-lived as Luthor's clones were supposed to be, he couldn't just wait for them to die. So they would have caused tons ot trouble no matter how bad the science is in this episode.

Whoa! Nigel? Nigel and Luthor are involved now? Oh, this makes it all worthwhile! A diabolically excellent twist, Dandello! Keep it up! This changes everything! This goes on my must-read list right now!

And then there's the issue of the clones apparently having the full memories of the originals? Didn't Herbert do that to Duncan Idaho? (Unless he's tapped the Akashic soul record for the memories and personalities. In which case he's also negated his own premise of a genetic basis to personality.)
I do have some ideas for the disposition of the clones.

And yeah, where DID Hamilton's money come from?

Like where it's going...

Is this another forum for fan fiction?

Bluetights Fanfiction forum

Blue Tights is dedicated to Superman in general, so the fanfiction section covers the movie version more than Lois & Clark. But Smirky and I post at both.

I know this is probably a re-post, so everyone else knew what they were gettting into, but I was a little disappointed when I realized this wasn't a vignette. When I didn't see a 1/?, I figured it would just be a little one-parter.

You did a good job on the re-write, but it felt for awhile like I was just reading the show again. You might want to write just enough to set the mood, and then skip to the scene where you start to make changes.

I do like the changes you are making. It is a well-known fact that Nigel St. John precedes trouble. A nice idea. I'm looking forward to where you go from here.

Elisabeth