As usual, I loved your writing. I know I sound the same every single time I write feedback for you, but I can't help it. I ran out of more appealing things to say waaay back!
This wasn’t what he had expected. What good was it to be Superman if he couldn't protect his own daughter from a sexual predator?
Being Superman isn't about what he can't do... Still, I can sympathize. He must feel so helpless.
He returned to his office and sat down. “Is this what it felt like when you were weak, Claire?” He opened the box and briefly exposed her to the kryptonite within.
Interesting. Earlier, he was so concerned about exposing any of his children to kryptonite, and now this. I know it's the fastest way of finding out whether it was kryptonite, but still.
But what made you decide to have sex in the first place? You aren’t old enough.
Which teenager will ever listen to something beginning with "you're not old enough"? None I ever knew.
God knows Zared has caused plenty of problems in that regard.
Oh, yes, he has.
He swallowed hard at the thought that his sons, his daughter-in-law, and his granddaughter would have to leave. He hoped it wasn’t soon.
Oh, let K'al and his family leave rather soon. The sooner he's gone, the less he'll be able to cause trouble for Los (who is to stay, of course).
Caitlyn whispered, “Shhh… Be quiet. I’m not… I… We’re just really good friends.”
“Uh-huh. Must be a pretty good friend since he’s coming to meet the family this weekend.”
Caitlyn looked up at her slyly. “He told you that?!” She shut the chart she had just written orders on and gave it to Jessi. She stood up. “Well... You might be surprised.”
“So he told me.”
Wonderful little scene!
“Well, you aren’t pregnant. And I’m assuming that’s good news, right?” She nodded vigorously.
He really had to ask?
That could be due to the same defect that Jon, K’al, and I have. It sometimes affects females in such a manner. Your kidneys are fine, so I can’t readily tell is it’s from the same thing.
Oh, just great [you can see the irony dripping here]! Who's next?
Lara smiled broadly. “We all gave you blood!”
Sweet little girl.
Jama said, “Hmmm… Hannah. Anamarie isn’t here right now but shouldn’t you change? Love the outfit, by the way.”
Hannah looked down at herself. “Oh, I completely forgot.” She bent down and kissed Jon. “I’ll be right back.”
The problems of a budding superheroine... Never forget which person you are. Better start talking about your other self in the third person, just to keep things straight.
<I imagine that you would like to stay with Jon, wouldn’t you? I can stay in another room.> He quickly set up the test.
She teased. <Uh-huh. What room would that be, Los? The den, where I’ve been staying, or the guest room that Mari has been staying in?>
Yes, both Hannah and Los fit in well with the rest of the family - and whith each other. It's great for them to be comfortable enough to start teasing. Something like that wouldn't have been possible with K'al. (Get him back home!!! Without his brother(s)!)
Oh, and get back writing more pronto!
