Originally Posted by JadedEvie
Part 2

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She’d been very careful about the questions she’d answered – in fact, in many ways, she had been just as evasive as he had been.
She'd assessed him very similarly in the last section, and it's nice to see them placed on more even ground like this.

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“Sounds like your editor is an idiot,” Clark said. Lois laughed, appearing surprised at his bluntness.
Yes. Misogyny is idiotic. Love that he made her laugh with this!

I couldn't help myself.

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For the millionth time, he brushed away the thought that the other Clark would have handled this better.
I think the imposter syndrome is a particularly nice device here because you've paired it so effectively with this character's choice not to believe in soul mates. It compounds his internal obstacles in a really great stacked way. If he did go for the soul mate thing, it would give him some relief from this, to believe that he's the only one that can save his Lois. This is really effective here, really builds tension.

I appreciate that! I honestly wasn't sure who Alt-Clark was, and then I thought of my own imposter syndrome and what it might feel like if someone showed up and seemed to know how you should live your life because there was someone out there doing it who looked just like you. It would be unnerving.

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The other Clark was a hero, but he felt like just a guy who put on tights sometimes in an attempt to help make things better.
You do a great job of making even the strongest man on earth feel vulnerable.

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He smiled apologetically, registering in surprise that she’d called him by his name.
Love that he clocked her breaking one of their tacit rules.

I love this trope in TV/Fiction!

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He wished he could tell her that at the Daily Planet she had been highly respected by everyone she knew, but he knew it wasn’t the time.
This is a really effective mental box you've trapped him in.

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He wasn’t used to anyone considering his feelings when it came to what he went through. To the rest of the world, he was invulnerable in almost every way.
Sweet that even with no idea who she is, she sees him. I feel like the show misses this point (in service to the love 'triangle'), and you're capturing it here.

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He longed to pick up the phone and call someone, but even if he were in his own time, there was nobody for him to call. His pain had always been his own.
Oooof. I did forget the isolation aspect for alt-Clark. You're really building him a detailed psychology!

Thank you! I am so glad this works!

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Clark couldn’t help but admire the will to continue to try after being attacked over and over again.
Nice metaphor for Clark himself here.

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He’d convinced himself that she was the answer to his loneliness, and was now realising how deeply unfair that was to both of them.
What a sincerely advanced mentality for this character. People is rl don't have this kind of insight about themselves.

But wouldn't it be great if they did?

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It was dangerous for him to want.
But he did. He couldn’t help it.
So sad. I know I'm fairly analytic, but really, this whole section hits you in the chest.

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It was the store owner who swept the debris away from his front door and opened like clockwork every morning, even if the rest of the shops around him were on fire.
Great detail and so personal and evocative.

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It was even more terrifying to know that out there somewhere was a nameless, faceless enemy who knew her, even if she didn’t know them.
Ooof, yikes. That's paralyzing.

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She had a feeling that he was the type of person who took it upon himself to save the world.
I love the dramatic irony here, and love how it's used to sweetly.

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“Says who?” She demanded, feeling inexplicably angry at these people, whoever they were, for making him feel as if he wasn’t good enough.
Love this take.

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“You have to get to the shelter!” he was saying to her – she had never heard anyone sound so scared.
Ugh, amongst all the Clark-torture about not being able to save people, I didn't put together how completely gut-wrenching it has to be for him every time one fo the sirens goes off because she's not safe and he's can't protect her with his powers.

And even if he stays with her, he would know that out there others are dying. Poor guy. lol

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“I need you to stay calm,” Clark was telling her – his voice gentle but firm. It reassured her in a way nothing else could have. She wasn’t alone.
That moment killed me.

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If she didn’t know any better, she would swear he was trying to see right through it.
Sort of a shame she does know better, lol.

Ha ha!

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Clark seemed to snap back to attention.
lol

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Lois was surprised by how comfortable Jamie was talking to him. He was usually quite shy with most people.
The Superman + kids phenomenon.

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Something in his reaction told her this meant something to him, though she had no idea why.
On the second read, it really hit that as an orphan, he might have wished someone that had cared like Lois would have taken him in at 10. He got lucky that it happened once, with the Kents, but in this context, it's crushing that it didn't happen again.

Yeah. Clark really understands Jamie and loves Lois all the more for how fiercely she is protecting him.

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Wells looked slightly surprised. Clark grimaced.
Ugh, in the overall of the story, it feels like Wells is judging him. Poor Clark.

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“I can’t just let people die,” Clark argued, his face hot with both shame and indignance.
Tbh... Is Wells crazy, dropping Superman into the middle of a war? What did he THINK was going to happen here?

RIGHT?! I mean I know I wrote it thaat way but...yeesh!

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"I just thought that after all I put you through with the other Lois and Mr. Kent that –”
“I needed this,” Clark said, his voice hoarse.
Wow, yikes. That sort of play only works if it turns out -- and if the players don't know.

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“Well of course not,” Wells retorted incredulously. “Did you honestly think that just because she’s your soul mate that it would be that easy?”
“I…” Clark’s mouth opened and closed for a moment in surprise at Wells’ words. He had thought it was supposed to be easy.
They really only gave Clark like half the playbook here. No wonder he's just spiraling. (Not criticizing the plot - that's great. But omg, Wells.)

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"Upon further analysis, I discovered it would make a suitable alternative fuel source for the time travel machine,” Wells admitted.
COOL!

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The coldness seemed to spread over her, numbing her. Had she gotten him all wrong? Who was he?
I winced at this.

I had a REALLY hard time writing this scene!

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His eyes widened when she pulled it out and the look he gave her almost tore her in two.
It's totally crushing that he's afraid of people being afraid of him for his powers, and now the person that matters most is terrified of him for something else entirely. It's really not fair.

Yeah. He's been taught all his life to hide, but this is something he can't escape.

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She was afraid because he was a man. She was afraid because he had unintentionally physically intimidated her and because he had been in her apartment late at night.
This feels very, well, I was going to say 'topical' but I don't want to give the context that this feels like it has a shelf life. It feels immediate. And timeless, too. Which is sad and defeating and tragic and true.

I am really glad it hits right. I wanted it to sound universal without being preachy. But yeah, being a woman alone in a house with a man twice your size who you think might harm you is terrifying no matter the time period.

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“What is this? A threat? A reminder that you can get to me – to Jamie anytime you want?”
“No, I —” oh, God, he had never thought she’d see it like that.
Such a great use of intent vs impact here.

Yeah poor guy.

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“I thought I could,” she said sadly, finally looking him in the eye. He immediately wished she hadn’t. He felt something inside him break a little.
whinging

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Lois wondered if part of the reason she was so resistant to believing Clark’s story was that she found it almost impossible to believe there was a future for any of them. Was there any sort of world in which the Germans didn’t win?
This reeeeealllly taps into the time period. Great job welding this to Lois' present.

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“You’re right, that’s a lie,” he said heavily. “But if I told you the truth you would only think me even more insane.”
I have to appreciate this.

I am so glad this works! I had NO idea what he should say to her so I just went with nothing lol

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“More insane than telling me that I’m really from the future and I was thrown back in time by a magic rock? More insane than that?”
To her surprise, Clark chuckled.
“Yeah, more insane than that, believe it or not,” was all he said.
This is actually a delightful little bit of brevity here.

Yeah I thought it needed something after that last chapter.

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“She’s not a cook, she’s my housekeeper,” he admitted. “Technically tea is not one of her duties but she does it so well and I’m not in the best of health.”
Gotta love that he REQUESTS this and doesn't demand it. Seems like he respects his servant - just nice to see here.

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She’d barely noticed the cup of tea being placed in front of her, or the fact that HG Wells had made himself scarce.
LOL. Wells just bounces - that's great!

Ha ha! I had no idea what to do with him.

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Either way, the only thing he ever said was: It’s because of me. It’s because of me.
Oh nooooooo..... Kids take on so much.

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“For what it’s worth, I know what it’s like to have to hide parts of yourself in order to be accepted. It’s hard and exhausting and it breaks you down a little bit every single day.”
That's deeply articulate.

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She wanted to love him.
whinging

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“Yes,” he told her. He stood up and held out his hand to her. “Will you…will you fly with me?”
GREAT section ending!

I'll respond to pt 3 soon - hoping to make it before the GTA ends!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!


Spike: "There's a hole in the world...feels like we ought to have known."
-Angel